A bit of Portuguese... :)

[Tanuchan]

Um pequeno Café

 

Um pequeno Café

em um canto do mundo

escondido timidamente

recolhido em si mesmo

porém cheio de tesouros

à espera de quem os encontre

e, reconhecendo seu valor,

se acomode em uma mesa:

calor, alegria e apoio

oferecidos sem receio

ao viajante cansado,

ouvidos prontos para estórias

e coração aberto para novos amigos.

 

~~~~~~

I wrote this when the "new" MoT was opened, and have been struggling to get a decent English version. However, translation is one of my weaknesses, and it's worse yet when it's in verse. Any way I re-write it in English, it still doesn't feel "right" in relation to the original. (I always feel it would be so much better to write a new one in English!) So, if anyone in the boards can lend a hand (Spanish-speaking people, maybe?) I'd be glad for the help; either post here or PM me. I'm adding below the English version, but sincerely I don't like it. The worst passages/words, that I feel don't convey the right feeling, are in parentheses.

Thanks

 

A small cafe

in a corner of the world

hidden shyly

(closed in itself)

but full of treasures

waiting for a finder

who recognizes its value

(and sits at a table):

warmth, laughter, and support,

offered without restraints

to a tired traveler,

ears ready for new stories

and heart open to new friends.

[Lady Celes Crusader]

It sounds beautiful in its original tongue.

 

I agree with you that translation is difficult because you want to keep the spirit and the meaning of your poem intact while trying to make it sound logically structured in the other tongue you translated into.

 

Perhaps, you can ask in the Café for someone's help for any translation.

[reverie]

Found this randomly when a guest was viewing it today. Hmm, might be able to help some. I have zero knowledge of the conventions of Portuguese poetry and am still a novice with Portuguese language, but I could use the mental workout. Just out of curiosity what pronunciation where you going for? Portugal, Brazil, or one of the other Port-speaking nations.

 

I'm going to take some creative license and go for the gist of the poem instead of a literal trans, because I think you have a much better grasp of the literal trans than I do.

 

 

 

 

---

 

In a corner of the world

there waits a small cafe

shyly hid and withdrawn in

upon itself, yet

full of treasures

for those who find

and recognize its value,

when sitting at a table:

warmth, laughter, and support,

offered with nothing taken off (jeez, that's a hard one there)

a tired (might use "fellow" instead, but then again that does have a communist connotation) traveler,

***************** (can't get a good enough handle here)

and hearts opened to new friends.

Edited June 28, 2007 by reverie

[Tanuchan]

Just out of curiosity what pronunciation where you going for? Portugal, Brazil, or one of the other Port-speaking nations.

 

I'm going to take some creative license and go for the gist of the poem instead of a literal trans, because I think you have a much better grasp of the literal trans than I do.

I'm Brazilian, so... guess

 

I like your translation! The parts that I feel don't quite fit are exactly those you yourself questioned... I knew you were learning Portuguese - how much of it can you grasp in a conversation? If you want/need some practice, PM me...

[reverie]

Oh that is cool. My grasp is terrible. Like, I can recognize some words and phrases, but the conversation moves too quickly for me to grasp the context, unless ppl slow way down for me, and even then I have to think about it.

 

I plan on taking a conversational class next semester, so hopefully, I will improve. Only reservation on that is the professor is an American that try's to pass himself of as being from Portugal (another prof told me he only studied there), and I'd prefer to prefect my the Brazilian pronunciation before tackling the Old country one. It's sounds more fluid to me. I like it. Oh well, you have to take what you can get, I suppose.

 

Sure, I'll probably be PM'ing you every now and again, then.

 

rev...

[Tanuchan]

Sure, I'll probably be PM'ing you every now and again, then.

 

rev...

Feel free to!

If you want to come to IRC, just tell me so I can try to meet you. There is also one other guy, but from Portugal, who might join us - if you want to try a mix of both, that is

[TLDunn213]

I like the feeling/sentiment I get from the translations

 

Sorry I don't know the original language

And so can offer no help there.

 

Would love to hear it in the original

So as to hear/feel the rhythm and flow

As originally intended

 

But even limited to reading the translation

I find it a lovely bit of free verse.