Finnius Posted October 17, 2004 Report Posted October 17, 2004 'Twas autumn, dreary, cold and grey, With leaves of brown, Snow swirling round, The cold and chill were here to stay; And death for plants was raining down. A Wyvern, clad in wool, in fleece, Was out for geld, His mind was filled, With thoughts of greed and wealthy peace; And down the Pen-Keep snow rapelled. Around the Keep, young Tanny crept, A wolf in fur, No cold for her, Comfy in driven snow, she slept; And still the snow fell, white and pure. Gentle Pered gave Pages tours, Around the Halls, 'Twas fun for all, For he and Zool had great rapport; And the snow continued to fall. Gyr and Sal, in Custos Manor, Sat up all night, By candlelight, While Minta Rose started, stammered; And played in falling, flaking white. And Aegon walked with Yui-chan, In shadows dark, Through Courtyard park, While Tzimmy laughs, and freezing stands; As naked as a Spring-day's lark. And Merelas melts snow, it's true, A fire-elf's hot, No snow he's caught, And still, poor Finnius is blue; Regardless if he's cold or not.
drummondo Posted October 17, 2004 Report Posted October 17, 2004 (edited) I love the rhyme scheme, and your rhythm was pretty strictly used too, which was nice. I can't really comment on the content of the piece because I don't know the people involved as well as you do, but the initial verse contains some rather brilliant imagery An impressive poem structurally, and, I assume, with some... errm... "meaningful" meaning By the way, here's a weird coincidence for you; our Yorkshire Terrier had puppies around seven weeks ago (if anyone likes pictures of puppies, PM me), and we decided to keep one of the males. We've also decided to call it Finnius, before I was aware of your own existence So we have a dog called Finn Edited October 17, 2004 by drummondo
Merelas Posted October 18, 2004 Report Posted October 18, 2004 "Blegh!" Merelas sighs. "I hate winter."
cryptomancer Posted October 18, 2004 Report Posted October 18, 2004 *Looks out side* Ahh, Spring. All wind and rain, but it is summer soon. *grins* love the poem, images well captured, and a wonderful flow with the rhyme.
Tanuchan Posted October 18, 2004 Report Posted October 18, 2004 (edited) Loved it, Finn As Cryp said, well-caught imagery and a very smooth flow. *hugs* ~Tanny (and I just saw Tanny the wolf there... really fits ) Edited October 18, 2004 by Tanuchan
Parmenion Posted October 18, 2004 Report Posted October 18, 2004 Now I really feel like Autumn is upon us!! Would you be so kind as to write one for every season? Perhaps a commision to do so is in order Excellent work Finnius!
Quincunx Posted October 18, 2004 Report Posted October 18, 2004 Tzimfemme slid the cover sideways, exposing double-paned glass about one foot square, and peered out from her room in the Pen Keep. "Mind over matter, and heated air ventilation over the next six months," she said, before sliding the panel shut again. After a moment, it opened again. "And Rydia's insane," she added. Rydia, meanwhile, was bundling up in green down-filled coat, mystical static field socks, extra thick wool socks, waterproofed and treaded green boots, adorable green wool mittens, darling green wool scarf, matching headwrap so as not to muss the hair, and specially knitted pointed earsocks with shiny threads twisted into the wool.
Finnius Posted October 18, 2004 Author Report Posted October 18, 2004 Now I really feel like Autumn is upon us!! Would you be so kind as to write one for every season? Perhaps a commision to do so is in order Actually, if you don't mind spelunking back into the depths of the Banquet Hall, I try and write at least one Pen piece for each season/holiday. Just figured I'd try and use this one to buy off mah Weenie Award. Glad you all enjoyed it!
Gyrfalcon Posted October 22, 2004 Report Posted October 22, 2004 Great poem Finnius, though I might be biased because I'm in there. *grins* Your Weenie status has been removed.
Orlan Posted October 26, 2004 Report Posted October 26, 2004 Orlan, Elder of the Pen, Lord of the Pants, Master of all Things....uh...Masterfull...able, or so, walks through the rows of people applauding and fawning over Finnius' Autumn toting a large piece of circular wood with a large metal handle. Drips of red can be seen trailing behind him, dropping from the bottom of the circle of wood. With a last quick push of his legs he yells out, "THAT WAS A GREAT POEM FINNIUS! NOW, DON'T DUCK!" KKKKKEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!! Orlan slamms the base of the circular wood right into Finnius' head and pulls it away to reveal a large red stamp right on the poet's face: With a sigh and a heave he totes the giant stamper over his shoulder and turns and walks away muttering something to himself about never being told when he's supposed to do things and that soon the world will pay.....oh yes....it will be paid in full....Mwuahahahaha......MWUAHAHAHAH.....BWAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! Er, and you're offical now Finnius.
Finnius Posted October 27, 2004 Author Report Posted October 27, 2004 The little blue mage gently probes at the seal on his forehead, fingers coming away sticky and red. He sniffs them gingerly, then takes a lick. "Cherry!" The Lord of the Pants raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "Err... it's sealing wax..." "Cherry flavored sealing wax?" "No, just the regular kind, far as I know..." The little blue man sheepishly shrugs, takes another lick, and wanders underneath a tree to take a nap, mumbling behind him as he does so. "Well, I like it anyway."
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