Red Moon Rising

[Ghost_of_the_Dawn]

I was wanting to know what everyone thought of this story. Don't kill me on spelling, just plot, characterization, story flow, ect. Thanks!

 

 

 

August 4th, 2004

British Columbia, Canada

 

 

Dante Blackcreek (alias Dan Parks) and Erik Hunter (alias Sam Forrester) watched the abandoned mining camp deep in the snow dusted forrest from a rocky outcropping overlooking the site. Using space blankets painted white to hide any thermal signatures and a white ISO mat with a removaible section made specifily for sniping, Erik slowly munched on a protien bar as Dante used a small pericope to scan the terrorist base.

 

Through a contact in the Canadian Royal Mounted Police, they had discovered a possible Al Quida base deep inside the forest. The camp was nestled in a low valley surrounded by steep hills on three sides, the only easy way out was an old road leading to a wooden bridge that spanned a frozen river. Under the support trusses were two satchel charges Dante had planted the night before while Erik covered him.

 

So far. the mission was moving smoothly. The duo didn't want to engage any hostiles before their planned attack. All it would take is one terrorist not answering a radio check or not showing up for a head count. If Dante and Erik were to be successful in snagging their target, Mufasa ali Muhammad, they couldn't tip off the enemy. After all, Mufasa was worth 15 million alive; 5 million dead to the Isreali government. Smuggling him out of Canada would be a simple matter of bribery. Hell, it's easier to smuggle things into and out of Canada then it was in Mexico.

 

The camp below consisted of three major buildings and two smaller storage sheds that held the terrorist's equipment and served as an armory. The largest building, an old rock crusher, served as the headquarters while a smaller building held two rusty generators and the last being a make shift barracks. The sun was begining to set on the Western side of the low hills, behind the mercenaries to make it harder for the terrorists to see them during the attack.

 

Dante recovered a small radio detonator and looked at Erik," Want to do the honors?"

 

Smiling, Erik accepted the detonator, turn it on, then pressed the blinking red button. A loud roar reverberated off the walls of the valley as the bridge collapsed into the frozen river, breaking the ice below. Erik shouldered his supressed SVD sniper rifle as Dante called out targets. Five of the twelve terrorists poured out of the buildings immediately, followed by three half dressed ones that exited the barracks a few moments later. They ran toward the road where the explosion occured. Looking through a pair of binoculars, Dante called out the first two targets. Erik aimed, fired, chambered the next round, aimed and fired once more. Two of the half dressed terrorists dropped, one shot in the side of his head, the other in the upper back.

 

The next two shots found there marks before the enemy noticed they were being picked off. Scattering for cover, they dived behind buildings, barrels, or whatever they could find. Dante took back the radio detonator and turned a small switch, moving it from 1 to 2 on the dial (the detonator dial had went up to three). As soon as the trigger button began flashing, Dante thumbed it, blowing two blocks of C-4 taped to the bottom of the generators. As the building blew, the mercenaries saw one of the terrorist being cartwheeled 7 feet into the air from the force of the blast, landing in a crumpled heap several yards away. Black smoke billowed from the destroyed building.

 

One of the terrorist started shouting orders amissed the chaos. Erik got a bead on him, putting a round just underneath the nose of the target. The man dropped without another word. "Oops," Erik quietly exclaimed.

 

Dante looked at him,"Oops? What do you mean 'oops'?"

 

Erik smiled akwardly," I just shot our cash cow."

 

Dante shook his head,"Please tell me it was a leg shot."

 

"Nope," Erik replied.

 

"Damn it," Dante cursed.

 

Down below in the camp, a Saudi named Kamar Usif rallied the remaining terrorists. Directing his forces in an attept to assualt the unknown attackers. They made a gallent push up the wrong side of the valley, 'spraying and praying' the whole way. The sticotto of AK 74 fire drew the mercenaries' attention. "Amatures," Dante sneered as Erik and him dispatched the rest of the enemy.

 

After the massacure, Dante and Erik looked down at the lifeless form of Mufasa. "The good news is that it's the best head shot I've ever seen," Dante stated," Too bad it cost 10 million."

 

 

The End

Edited October 2, 2004 by Ghost_of_the_Dawn

[cryptomancer]

I like, though I am not a storyteller, this gives a hook to wanting to learn more, as does your application. I am intrigued by the character, he seems to be a complete mercenry, no real alligance so far.

This as part of a bigger story would work well, give us some background.

 

*grins*

 

Welcome

 

[Ghost_of_the_Dawn]

Yeah, they're both mercenaries that met while in the SEALs. It's not so much the money (though that plays a big factor in it) as it is the thrill of unrestricted warfare. An organized Special Ops task force recently raided the island compound they were using as a smuggling waypoint. They traded a small amount of Americanium 214 for protection while in Cuba. Right now, they are funnelling money to a drug cartel in Bolivia that uses tin mining operations as fronts for smuggling.