Falcon2001 Posted September 24, 2004 Report Posted September 24, 2004 I Was born to a new world I walk Through my memories A family torn I walk down The street near my house Was empty I used to play there alone I walk down the Halls of school adorned with flags Seemed so important then My whole life in a building Carved of stone and knowledge I walk down the road That goes to her house Everything to me then And nothing at all now How I loved her then How I wonder why I walk down the road alone Haunted by memories and shades I am rendered speechless and numb When you live forever in haze The sunlight is pain So I lock myself in my room with the sheet over the window And sleep through opportunity's knock Alright, so I suppose an explanation is needed. First off, the format where the first line develops and is tied to the number of lines in each stanza is probably stolen from somewhere, I just can't remember whether or not it's original right now - take it as it is.
Loki Wyrd Posted September 24, 2004 Report Posted September 24, 2004 I like the format, it's pretty cool.
Tanuchan Posted September 24, 2004 Report Posted September 24, 2004 I also like it. I don't know if it was your intention, but the form also makes the flow hesitant in the beginning, catching momentun towards the end. It's very like someone who starts walking hesitantly, unsure if he wants to go down that street, that line of memories, but who finds himself rushing headlong into them after a few initial steps. I've felt like that many times, when I explore some line of thought very hesitantly in the beginning, and some steps later I get caught and run it to the end. Thanks for sharing ~Tanny
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