LeifTheBunny Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 How's this: Nobody's listening my friends have abandoned me Silence deafening without hearing their friendly words Loneliness settles my heart sinks further in spirit Aggravation mettles harmful feelings arise in anger
Ayshela Posted September 24, 2004 Report Posted September 24, 2004 wonderful!! i'm doing well to remember my own name, these days, but i think i'm going to snag all these "first lines" and take them on the plane with me next week and see where they take my pen.
epinephrine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Posted October 5, 2004 I hardly claim to be a poet, but if you don't try nobody listens! OK all, how's this Nobody’s Listening To the cry of love unnoticed, Nobody Cares to hear The clamour of thoughts ignored. Nobody knows When I cry alone, Who wants to know Of the pain of someone they can’t heal? Nobody sees When I realise That love remains And hope remains Despite the fact that nobody’s listening Perhaps it sounds a bit cheesy but I wouldn't mind gentle feedback.. epinephrine
cryptomancer Posted October 5, 2004 Author Report Posted October 5, 2004 (edited) epinephrine, that is familiar, Adrenalin? or similar? *grins* Nevermind. I like the poem, good flow, and the thing I look for in most of the stuff I read, Emotive conection. Thanks for sharing. *Grins* And as for the point of the game....... I took your request as my first line.... and..... Perhaps it sounds a bit cheesy but I wouldn't mind gentle feedback. It could make me uneasy but wouldn't give me a heart attack. Asking made me queazy but I can handle a bit of flak. Just please dont tease me as it could make me crack. Edit: My first line for others..... is.... *gets five year old son to play the set of drums we gave him for his birthday* Constelations of citrius glitter upon the trees, Edited October 5, 2004 by cryptomancer
epinephrine Posted October 5, 2004 Report Posted October 5, 2004 Well spotted that man. Indeed that most excellent of natural drugs. And thank you for the feedback. I have taken the challenge of your line and then some. Constellations of citrus glitter upon the trees, Like golden binary systems Orbiting green blades elliptically. No laws of Kepler, Bind these celestial creatures Only terrestrial dependencies. Suddenly Supernova, They plummet The sky is falling. sorry about the high level of science. My teacher always tried to tell me physics could be beautiful... And a second offering especially for the cryptomancer. I stole your thoughts for this one. He gets his five year old son to play the set of drums we gave him for his birthday, An early musical gift to inspire an early musical talent. What luck that parents see those gifts that others miss, And have the courage to pursue where others leave transparent, Their disbleleif. My compliments to your son *bows respectfully* and I hope his musical talent persists. And a first line for you or others interested.. "How crisp the morning frost upon the burdened blade of grass" -epinephrine
Mynx Posted October 6, 2004 Report Posted October 6, 2004 How crisp the morning frost Upon the burdened blade of grass Cracking underfoot As I make my weary pass Drawing coat about me Glaring at the ground In the distance, I hear bells ring That hated, piercing sound How heavy the weary burden The stress weighing me down I cross the gates to my personal Hell Wearing a constant, desparing frown. *pulls face* What? Me? Bummed about the end of term break? .....yup. New line for all those willing... "Be gone with this, I'm going home"
cryptomancer Posted October 6, 2004 Author Report Posted October 6, 2004 Be gone with this, I'm going home, The storm cloud broke upon the sound, Of clamouring thunder and the pierce Of rain upon the ground. Be gone my mist, grow fat and fall, For in the emptiness, of weathered sky, Who am I to your growth deny? And in the grip of sky detain, The brilliance of fresh new rain? Tantalized by defeated fall, The ground catches and drinks all, And in the thirst of daylight quenched Grasps the rays of daylight drenched, And in the falling orbs displays Her thanks to life, to love, always. How crisp the morning frost upon the burdened blade of grass, Crystalizes the wonder of light, surrounded by increasingly Fine display of treasured beauty, brightening day. My love caressed the ground under her sole. Bared to cold embrace of winters crown, that on the grass In losing battle the sun holds at bay, as in the dawn Of newest day the love of all caresses my worries and Dreams away. Life renewed, love survives, and in all Her beauty my mind with truth and love inspires. "Were ever my heart lays its beating breath"
drummondo Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 (edited) Edit: My first line for others..... is.... *gets five year old son to play the set of drums we gave him for his birthday* Constelations of citrius glitter upon the trees, Cryptomancer, you confused me. I wrote this anyway :\ Let The Mourning For The Night Begin... Gets five year old son to play the set of drums we gave him for his birthday. Constellations of citrius glitter upon the trees, And through the leaves, drops of daylight descend. Gets noble old sun to play that morning reveille for it's birthday, As each morning it's reborn with apparent ease, And between green and green, the colours blend: The yellow rays take on the hint of grass, Beneath the trees where light is seldom passed, Rejoicing in the new world found below; The conquering of shadows, And the birth of morn' at last. Edited October 7, 2004 by drummondo
Mynx Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 Cryptomancer, you confused me. I believe, my friend, that the part about his 5 year old was simply the word smith's way of enacting a drumrole. Constelations of citrius glitter upon the treesWas his line. The rest was posing... *grins at Cryptomancer*
musicevangelist Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 Constellations of citrus glitter upon the trees The moon hangs high in anticipation Echoes of daylight linger in the clouds Orange fingers of delight Leaves of gold tumble restlessly Roots plumb depths to exist Silence reigns here in the forest Humanity is at an end Ok new line for someone: "Who chooses this life we lead"
cryptomancer Posted October 7, 2004 Author Report Posted October 7, 2004 Who chooses this life we lead? The path of love we tread? The secret passages of time, Till with our death we bed? Is guidance upon the thread of fate? Or upon the faithless life? Is love a gift of eternity? Or the trick of mortal minds? If in the solitude of night Upon the heartless dawn, I can stand in awe of you? To you I give my soul. For life is upon us to choose. Its path is ours to walk. It is your love that made it so. And you with us do walk. 'In love I hold my heart to you'
musicevangelist Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 In love I hold my heart to you Giving over all that is dear To hold you in my arms Anything and everything I'd do Painting the world with my love The artistry that is you New line: Paradigms swirling through infinity
drummondo Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 (edited) Paradigms swirling through infinity; The endless arguments follow set paths, And an inevitable example of my fallibility, As you slam the door, the perfect epitaph To put upon my headstone: "Unable to argue, always in the wrong, In death untouched, in life alone, A grave unfurling now he's gone Of weakness. This stone is too strong To represent this man against his will; Rest in peace, alone still." Edited October 7, 2004 by drummondo
cryptomancer Posted October 7, 2004 Author Report Posted October 7, 2004 Paradigms swirling through infinity, Each a world unto itself, Owned by those that in them live, Patterning the minds perfectly. On the twisting paths of truth, World is viewed and taints By proof, the everlastingness Under Life's eternal roof. 'Let loose the river torrent'
cryptomancer Posted October 7, 2004 Author Report Posted October 7, 2004 Drummondo! Wow! That I like! Very well done, *grins*
musicevangelist Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 Let loose the river torrent Emotions all aflood Cascading waterfalls of doubt To the ocean of delusion Rescue me, pull me up To the ship of truth Sail away with haste From the land of misery The wind of hope Drives us forward Challenging us to overcome The tyranny of despair I tried to make this more hopeful and uplifting than some of my poems in the past (not posted here). New line borrowed partl;y from Whitesnake: Hanging on the promises of yesterday
dragonqueen Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 This is a cool idea. I wish I had some poem to post here, but at the moment, my muse is on vacation. Which is why I have a first line and nothing else. 'I just want to be inspired'
Until_It_Sleeps Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 Let loose the river torrent; Unleashing what cannot be contained, Those responsible linger back, Unable to hide their apparent shame, The redened streams burst then flow; Lapping ever so soothingly, Apart from you they dash calmly towards your infectious gravity, Drifting onwards by the weights of consequences that we surely know, And where the red formed then pooled; Bloody rivers ceased their flow, Convinced to part ways with dreams of achieving something more, While the sun ejects seamless rays upon us; Filled with seething apathies, We cannot help but defend ourselves; In a war without bullets; Just fallacies Haha... All I could think of on the spot, back to the song I'm writing...
drummondo Posted October 7, 2004 Report Posted October 7, 2004 Let loose the river torrent, Ever flowing from your lips, The whitened froth of anger Crashes on the rocks, and skips Across the surface of deceit; Rising steam and vapour clings To my red face, disguised as sweat; Our love is no heated spring, But more a pool of stagnant hate, Waiting for a harsh discharge: Damn your lies, they only add To my ever-growing barrage Of replies; and pretty soon I'll let loose my gentle stream, And you shall drown; is this the end Of which you spoke? You cannot scream When water swallows whole your words; Silently note the moonlight's gleam Upon the lake; and images of birds Silhouetted against the only light In the sky, as I take flight From you. I never cared for swimming anyway
Ayshela Posted October 8, 2004 Report Posted October 8, 2004 Okay, as promised, i printed out the first lines which had been posted by the night before i left and took them with me. elbow room on the plane being at a premium, and peace to think non-existent, i wrote mostly on layovers until my brain melted and began to run out my ears. Here's my contribution to this lovely thread. Like a new day dawning spreads the smile across your face - once turbulent, now calming, anger fading without trace. Misunderstandings cleared and gentle resolution found without the repercussions feared. Again, our friendship's proven sound. Silence stole my shadow, softly slipped away as all words fled swiftly from me, racing off to play with an oft-abandoned clause and a long forgotten phrase to ensure they have some fun before they vanish in the haze of ever fading memory, in dim recess of time kept for now forgotten syllables and words which have no rhyme. "Smells like the colour purple!" the little girl cried as she sniffed the air excitedly, her brown eyes opened wide. Her best friend with his lollipop stared fixedly ahead as she told her mother, standing near, "I'd like one that tastes red!" Within the darkness no light is seen and there i huddle safely, refusing tears with telltale sheen ensuring solitude. Within the silence no sound is heard and there i struggle vainly, searching for a friendly word to break my solitude. Within this despair no peace is found and there i writhe in darkness searching for a light, a sound, in endless solitude. Nobody's Listening. Hurried steps along the street, we pass each other blindly. Hundreds of half conversations, we brush by unacknowledged. Head and shoulders grimly hunched, we plod by aimlessly. "Communicating" endlessly we do not realize, Nobody's Listening. Still and quiet, feline form of grace and calm disdain. Blinking slowly, sleepy one will lull to false security. Walking surely, self-absorbed, your presence unacknowledged. Pouncing quickly, sudden blur of motion kills its prey. Curling lazily, contented lump of mews and purrs drifts sleepwards. Still and quiet, feline form of grace and calm disdain.
Mynx Posted October 8, 2004 Report Posted October 8, 2004 I'm loving what I'm reading here folks! Cryptomancer gave me this line in person one day... "Silly kitty, stuck in study" *ehem* Silly Kitty Stuck in study Wants to make Her blade tip bloody Silly Kitty Heading to class Another hour On her big fat ass. *grins*
musicevangelist Posted October 8, 2004 Report Posted October 8, 2004 (edited) I just want to be inspired Feeling the words flow I want the flash of light To know what is mine To be what I can be Live up to my potential To crack the glass ceiling Imposed by a timid self To excel in my chosen field A dream worth striving for I must accomplish something So this life is not a waste New first line: Adorable fever burns your brain Edited October 8, 2004 by musicevangelist
Mynx Posted October 8, 2004 Report Posted October 8, 2004 Adorable fever burns your brain Aching joints add to the pain Something nagging in your head Have to speak, but what's to be said? Lying prone, mind still racing Finding thoughts captivating Inspiration! Where's my Muse? I need a cure to these winter blues! New line: I believe in people dying
cryptomancer Posted October 8, 2004 Author Report Posted October 8, 2004 Adorable fever burns your brain, Numb the system, kill the pain, My soul confused taking strain, Upon the night that taste again, Copper thin upon the rain, That beats down the stormy drain, Inspired, quickened, silken train, That lifeless worlds count as gain. …… 'I just want to be inspired!’ Desire upon the endless spark That in my listless soul takes hold. More I see the more I fate my gift to you, My beauty, my muse, my all, I see you and the words fall Like soft rain upon the page, Rinsing the pain, calming the rage. You are my life, my all, my triumph, The one my soul will forever call. …… I never cared for swimming anyway, To float upon the skin of calm liquid Seems against the nature of my soul. I hold to the same, for in my heart I feel the freedom you seek Upon the waters crest, But I feel the same Upon the spans of flame That from my soul do swing As in the air I take to wing …… I believe in people dying For it is the path of mortal life. In the air of love, the pain of strife And the truth, contrasts the lying, For how can you live? Until you can admit you’re dying? …… Hanging on the promises of yesterday Love, my fated path, split to the south, As I try to walk north. Feeling the price of pain I pay Love, my fated choice, complete embrace, My heartbeat raced. Holding to the future’s way Love, my fated dream, you, my all, Forever for you I fall. Line: 'Nonsensically subtle silliness'
drummondo Posted October 8, 2004 Report Posted October 8, 2004 (edited) Nonsensically subtle silliness As squirrels slyly slink and shy away, The rain sluices silently from the sky, Soaking the spent soldiers where they lay. Nature, in all its ignorance, still plays While death cries, as a trumpet on the air, Eyes watch the games, but do not see because They're dead. I guess this mother doesn't care. I love alliteration Or perhaps that should be "adore alliteration"... Edited October 8, 2004 by drummondo
Recommended Posts