Written in a time of need

[cryptomancer]

I write and I know that I can never read my words.

I write and I know that tonight my eyes do not see.

My eyes do not see page or word,

For tonight I write in the blood of a broken heart,

Upon the torn page of my soul.

……

 

I once stood upon the edge of myself,

And open field of dreams, letting all see

What I was, who I could be.

 

Then I placed a brick, then the second.

The third was easy to explain, as the wall grew.

 

Behind a wall I stand.

Upon its weathered face I lean.

I have seen it weather the storms of my life.

I build it to protect, to hide.

And in this sanctuary I shall die.

 

This wall I built to hold at bay,

The life of pain it kept away.

I stood behind and saw

Faces turn from what they saw.

I smiled to see them walk away

I longed to find the one who would stay.

 

Through my wall she did walk.

Seeing not a wall.

Only all I was.

Never flinching.

Never fleeing.

 

I loved her then.

I love her now.

Always forever.

Each day deeper.

 

She stands now beyond my wall.

Looking in at my breaking form.

Behind a wall I stand.

Upon its weathered face I lean.

I cannot sleep.

I cannot dream.

Shedding tears upon the stone.

Aching.

Crying.

All alone.

……

[Wyvern]

I like this piece and think that it's a good poem, cryptomancer. The stone wall metaphor you incorporate throughout the piece is strong, and I found the antithesis of the wall both protecting and trapping the narrator particularly intriguing. I also think that you open the poem on a very strong note with the line "I write and I know that I can never read my words," as it immediatly interested me and grabbed my attention.

 

The one stanza that I didn't care for in the poem was the second to last stanza, which I felt fell into the realm of cliches. Also, in the third to last stanza, the use of the word "fleeing" struck me as somewhat odd, perhaps because it's such a radical switch from the "flinching" mentioned in the line before it.

 

Very nice poem cryptomancer, I look forward to reading more of your works.

[Ozymandias]

*embraces Cryptomancer*

 

You're a good man, Crypt. I have it on good authority; and I can tell it by myself as well.

 

A beautiful, heartwrenching piece.

[Mynx]

Beautifully written, Crypt.

Quite literally brought tears to my eyes.