Jechum Posted August 24, 2004 Report Posted August 24, 2004 Jechum floats in... Being old… I like old things! So you young whimper snappers… Hear ye! Hear ye! It's time to earn those pens! I now open the Annual Role Call! The rules are simple: 1) All replies must be in this thread to count. 2) Each member should reply AT LEAST once. 3) This will be a Baton-pass Role-Call. To wit: you must read the last post, take the subject, develop (change, warp, tweak, etc) it, and then end it ready to pass to the next poster. 4) At the end of the stated period (1 October 2004) any Member who HASN'T posted receives the Weenie Award! The Weenie Award is a title that will appear under your name and/or be placed into a new Weenie list. To get rid of it after receiving it, you must post one well-written post with 'Buying off Weenie Award' in the subject line. Orlan being the only former Weenie Elder will judge! You all have until 1 Oct to Post at least once to avoid the easiest award at the Pen to get…The Weenie Award! Let the fun begin! Jechum floats out...
Jechum Posted August 24, 2004 Author Report Posted August 24, 2004 "Wait! Wait!" screamed Melvin as he missed the bus. Lucky for Melvin his good friend Vinnie was with him. Otherwise the wait for the next bus to his girlfriend's house would be a long one. Now they would just have to pass the time…
Zadown Posted August 24, 2004 Report Posted August 24, 2004 The dreaming boy turned around in his fevered sleep, burrowing deeper into the nest of blankets and pillows. He half-awoke, then let himself sink under the waves of sleep again. Melvin and Vinnie were less fortunate - the short period of almost wakefulness changed the two dream creatures into molluscs. There they sat, two snails cursed with the intelligence of humans, waiting for a bus they both knew they'd be too slow and too small to be able to board. Vinnie turned towards his friend and voiced the thoughts of them both. "This sucks."
Vlad Posted August 24, 2004 Report Posted August 24, 2004 As Vinnie began to complain, a salesman passed by the bus stop. This was no ordinary salesman, but a door-to-door salesman of vacuum cleaners. Being too slow to escape the sucking power of suction, the molluscs got stuck to a haphazardly turned on vacuum cleaner. Fortunately for them, this particular model has a safety filter that prevented them from undergoing a tour of the worlds best selling bagless upright. By the time the salesman reached the next house, he noticed that something was amiss in his product bag. Flipping a switch, and stepping indoors, Melvin and Vinne were left alone on the stoop.
Valdar and Astralis Posted August 24, 2004 Report Posted August 24, 2004 "Oook! Oook!" cried the stoop, feeling the wet molluscs slather all over it. "Oook!" answered the door angrily, realizing the house was under attack! Enraged by it's faliure to keep the salesman out, the door slammed open into the back of the Salesman's head. The head fell forward, disengaging the face and revealing two very pink hamsters cringing in the light.
Gryphon Posted August 24, 2004 Report Posted August 24, 2004 In the basement of the house two beings sat playing poker. One was human and male... he sat in a skungy singlet and boxer shorts, sweating at the thought of losing yet another hand to the other player. The other player was human too... or appeared human... humanish anyway. Sitting with his hand full of cards he was dressed impeccably in a business suit with dark sunglasses and he was smiling. He always smiled. All the time. This is what was making the man in the singlet and boxer shorts nervous, that and the glow that occationally seemed to come from behind the sunglasses. Upstairs there was a thuding sound like the front door hitting something - hard. In a desperate attempt to get out of the game (and avoid massive debt) the player that we know is human glanced sharply up and said "What was that? Maybe I should go and investigate." Without waiting for an answer for fear that it might be "no" he raced for the door from the basement to the house to see what was happening upstairs.
Alzorath Posted August 24, 2004 Report Posted August 24, 2004 As the man charged for the front door, he tripped and fell on the hamsters. A high piched squeel echoes through the house. As the man rolls off of the hamsters the elder of the two rodents squeeked something with his last breath. "The reason we came to this world is to save...
Peredhil Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 "...our nuts!" But the big oaf has completed what the doorknob impacting our humanoid nut carrier has started. All that remain of our nuts are cracked nuts. The mental anguish of the hamsters crying over their crushed nuts drew the Other Player up to the sweet scent of trauma. The human crawled weakly over the body lying on the lintel, and slid right into Vinnie and Melvin's dream, changing it. Suddenly the three of them were octopi in their undersea garden. The formerly human octopus wore a green visor on his brow, and began simultaneously shuffling and dealing cards with his many suckered tentacles. Vinnie and Melvin, suckered into his game, picked up their pseudopods and drew three. Melvin turned to Vinnie and remarked, "You know, Marilyn Monroe once said, "I don't mind living in a man's world if I can be a woman in it."" Vinnie blew a bubble of ink and replace two of his cards sharply from the deck's bottom as he replied wisely, "They always date Vinnie, but they marry Melvin." The Dealer, seeing what approached, flooded the area with ink and shouted, "
Tanuchan Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 "Oh no!! Quick, spread out and hide!" The Dealer soon disappeared in the blackness of the ink, while Vinnie and Melving looked around them at a loss. They felt more than saw the harpoon passing close by - too close for their own comfort - and dashed away spreading more ink in the area. "Vinnie, let's separate!" "No, I don't want you marrying the girls." "Don't be foolish... that hunter will find us quicker if we stay together." "Pffft" Still arguing, both octopi kept zigzagging around the sea garden, aware of the shadow of the hunter trying to corner them. The mouth of a cave loomed ahead of them, and they swam inside as fast as their tentacles would propel them. They picked the first branching to the right, never noticing...
Xaious, Master of Time Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 ..That they had accidentally swam into the mouth of none other than the notoriously well-known Leviathan, who woke up rather quickly as a harpoon stuck him in the head. Before Vinny and Melvin could react accordingly, they were jolted backwards, where....
Tralla Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 ... they found the formerly human octopus clinging franctically to Leviathan's tonsils. Vinnie wrapped all of his pseudopods around the precariously perched poker dealer, and Melvin in turn clutched onto him. As the three dangled from the heaving Leviathan's wildly swinging tonsils, Melvin cried, "Don't let go, Vinnie!" "I'll teach you to always marry the girls!" Vinnie shouted back, releasing his hold and plunking them down into darkness made all the darker by Melvin's terrified inking. When the ink finally cleared, they found themselves...
DeanTheAdequate Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 Once again shanghaied to sail the pacific. "You know Vinnie," Melvin said "I knew we shouldn't have gone drinking at 'Crazy Ahab's Shanghai Saloon'." "But you know how much I love the ambiance there." "Less talking, more rowing!" demanded the rowmaster as he cracked his whip. As he passed by and the drum droned on, Melvin just had to know. "Why is it we're rowing a sailing ship?" "Actually..." But just then...
Lady Celes Crusader Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 ... a wave hit them hardly and ejects them only to land in Artica, surrounded by penguins. Melvin and Vinnie kept screaming for a while until they realize that they are in a freezing environement. The salesmen dare to open one eye at the time and looks at the birds who keep staring at them. Then, one of the penguins pulls off a book while another exams both men with a lense. - Hum..., starts the penguin who exams the men, do you have any information about this specimens? - Well, answers the other penguin while he looks within the pages of what seems like an encyclopedia about humans, these are not of these pesky explorer type. By their attire, they look like... hum... probably office people or something like these. - Actually, inquires Melvin, we are salesmen. - Melvin, grumbles Vinnie, do you realize that you're talking with penguins? The first penguin, visibily irked by Vinnie's remark, jumps on his chest and stares at the poor guy madly - YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANNOYING YOU, HUMANS ARE! says the furious penguin while punctuating each word with a poke of it's wing on Vinnie's chest. The penguins grabs some ropes and tied both men together before installing them together in a huge catapult, ready to be lauched. Before lauching them, a penguin tells one last word to the salesmen. - Tell your explorer friends to leave us alone! We don't want to be part of any reality show of their. Before Vinnie or Melvin replied, the penguins actionned the mecanism, catapulting the salesmen...
Alaeha Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 , somehow, into a box under the stairs in the basement of a house about half a block from Louie's baitshop. (You know the place.) "OOF!" The resident of the box was, quite reasonably, irritated at having a pair of molluscs slammed into his midriff. Because apparently they had become molluscs once again. Without another word, and before Melvin and Vinnie could explain their predicament, he casually tossed them aside into a huge vat of sauerkraut. As they drowned in the substance, they both heard voices in their heads: "Hit F4! Load the last Savestate!" Suddenly they were jolted back into the midst of the penguins, having reverted to the previous event. Melvin opened his mouth and began to address the penguins before they could be catapulted again...
Gyrfalcon Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 The two penguins blinked in surprise as two occtopi appeared out of thin air in front of them. "I saw, what's this then?" the one with the magnifying glass inquired as he peered closely at the two occtopi. Thinking quickly for once, Melvin said "Actually, we're just a pair of octopi who got caught up on land, I don't suppose you could get us to warmer waters at all?" The two penguins stared at each other and then placed the octopi on the catapult. "Any place you want to go, dear chaps?" the second penguin asked as they cranked the catapult around. "Southern Californa sounds fine to me!" Vinnie burbled, already imagining wrapping his tentacles around a busty blond beach babe. One of the penguins consulted a map as they made delicate calibrations. Finally, they were ready and nodded together. "Enjoy your flight, and remember to return your tray to an upright position before landing!" the first penguin shouted before pulling the lever. As the two molluscs flew into the air, Vinnie cried "What's the inflight mooooooooovieeeeee!" Due to a heavy crossbreeze, the two mollucs landed not at a popular resort beach that they dreamed of, but instead...
Quincunx Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 (edited) The undershirted human came to groggily, supine and face-to-face with the unmidgeted machine. He removed the wallet from the salesmachine's suit pocket, removed a crisp bill, and stepped out onto his curb while holding the bill out to the street. Shortly a bus veered out of the inmost lane, nearly broadsiding three eared black coupes, and pulled up short by the human. The bus door creaked open. "I know whut ya wanna say, but buses is all we got," smiled the driver, and the undershirted human left his mouth open. Instead he gawked at the familiar man, with his little "DRIVER" visor, government-issue sunshades, and the extra ace inserted into the cuff of his sleeve in plain view. "YOU CHEATED!" roared the man on the curb. "Yes, I did. But if ya win, the bus is free," and the driver hooked his thumbs onto the steering wheel, spread his fingers, and fanned out the cards in two arcs which cut through the solid wheel and whirred with menace. The man on the curb went paler than his attire and gasped, "N-n-no shirts no s-s-service," before fleeing back to his curb, treading on a patch of slime, slipping, and landing with terrific force upon the vacuum cleaner. As the bus door whooshed shut and the bus pulled away--WITH his money--the man's glare fell upon the bagless upright. He tugged it roughly inside by the handle, slammed the front door, and laid the vacuum cleaner out speculatively on the carpet. The NEXT time he saw that man, he'd give him what-for, but first he needed to be caught. Great Granny Hestia (ashes to ashes, dust to dust, finally shut up, you must) apparently couldn't write a demon summoning circle that worked, but maybe the chapter on flying could be modified for modern appliances. Edited August 25, 2004 by Quincunx
cryptomancer Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 Due to a heavy crossbreeze, the two mollucs landed not at a popular resort beach that they dreamed of, but instead... With a small splash, two molluscs landed in a small triangular puddle of muddy water in the left hand corner of the intersection of two rather empty streets. As they crawled up the curb onto the footpath, the odd sensation of knowing passed over them both. Melvin turned to his companion, "Vinnie, I think we just missed our bus." Vinnie looked at melvin, face touched with sadness, "Yes," he said..... I can feel it in my slime. Meanwhile..... A small patch of slim looked at the footprint in its middle.... "Darn, Do you know how hard it is going to be to remove that?" It asked of no-one in particular. And then.... On the left hand corner of the intersection of two rather empty streets, A bus pulled up beside two molluscs......
WrenWind Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 the buss driver looks down and decides that they might make a good meal ans scoops them up and puts them in his bag. When his shift was over he grabbed the bag not realizing that the clasp was undon and the moluscs fell out on to the sidewalk in front of the bus terminus. They rolled out of the way and took stack of thier position "Hmmm. Now what? "They both say in unison.
Ozymandias Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 It drenched everyone rather quickly, as summer thunderstorms are wont to do; the exception being that they normally don't turn all they fall on a deep, rich purple.
Katzaniel Posted August 25, 2004 Report Posted August 25, 2004 So then the purple molluscs, after taking stock of their situation and coming to no logical conclusions, decided to grab some lunch. As is always the case, there was a Mickey D's just around the corner and down the street, but everyone knows that McDonald's burgers have rat heads and sometimes purple molluscs in their food. Melvin and Vinnie wisely decided to try Wendy's instead. Imagine their shock when Wendy herself greeted them at the door. She was an octopus, purple from the rain. When she recognized Vinnie, she greeted him warmly, but noticing Melvin she began to shriek. "YOU B******, YOU MARRIED ME AND THEN YOU MARRIED LISA AND THEN YOU MARRIED ELSIE... YOU'RE GONNA DIE FOR THAT!" Wendy the purple octopus picked up Melvin the purple mollusc and threw him halfway across the world again. Then she hugged Vinnie and offered him a hamburger.
Merelas Posted August 26, 2004 Report Posted August 26, 2004 Briefly the, hamburger wondered what it was doing in all this lettuce and yellow stuff, before it screamed in pain... And then, the beef was *really* dead.
Mynx Posted August 26, 2004 Report Posted August 26, 2004 Landing with a painful thud on a pepply beach situated in a strange land on the bottom of the world that seemed to have an abundance of animals with heads sticking out of their bellies, Melvin decided it might be safe to just lie there for a while. He then became aware of a shadow hovering above him. Then more shadows joined the first, until he was surrounded by them. About thirty white and grey birds surrounded Melvin, with more joining the ranks with each passing second. Finally, the owner of the first shadow tilted its head, staring at Melvin with a glazed expression before uttering a single word: "Mine?"
Gwaihir Posted August 26, 2004 Report Posted August 26, 2004 "NO!" The noise came from a very young small bird and as it rushed onto the scene it stood Melvin up immediately, possessively. "I've been collecting these funny looking creatures my whole llife and I have the best collection around, but I have Never seen a snail of this type that is purple. You are NOT about to eat what is probably a new species." The elders shrugged. It wasn't as if the molusk would be a important meal anyway. There were others. They let the noisy kid have it and so carefully the young bird did scoop up Melvin and flew off to his stores.
Psimon Posted August 26, 2004 Report Posted August 26, 2004 But there was one shadow, a curiously shaded shadow, who would not be so easily detered from what looked like a very juicy meal. "Purple is my favourite colour, after all, and it would be entirely remiss of me not to introduce myself to this tasty morsel... mwuhahahahahahaha-auark!" His decidedly nasty cackle echoed across the pebbled shore as he took wing and began following the small upstart...
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