Gryphon Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 A brilliant crescent moon, Hangs suspended in a turquoise sky, Whilst overhead stars, Diamonds of the night, Wink at me in defiance of the coming dawn, And birds serenade me.
Tanuchan Posted August 12, 2004 Report Posted August 12, 2004 Refreshing, descriptive and one that just hints at the beauty and promise of a new day. It makes me wish to be there It's good to see a light poem. Thanks for sharing
Ayshela Posted August 13, 2004 Report Posted August 13, 2004 beautiful. so vivid i could see it. nicely done.
Katzaniel Posted August 13, 2004 Report Posted August 13, 2004 That's really good. A thought strikes me, though... it's awfully close, syllable-wise, to two haikus. I wonder if it would be beneficial or detrimental to do it as one? Brilliant crescent moon, Suspended in turquoise sky, Overhead, stars; Diamonds of the night, Wink defiance of the dawn, Birds serenade me. Ehh, probably not. At any rate, nice one!
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