Daze at the Park

[Peredhil]

“Do you trust me?” I held out my paw to Miss Ayshela and waited. I could see the thoughts racing across her face(; human-types are so expressive). Do I trust ANYONE? Trust on what? This is Peredhil’s bodyguard. I trust Peredhil, do I trust his bodyguard? Trust him on what? Is he good enough at what he does to be trusted? I trust Peredhil’s trust, but do I directly trust him? I stood with a toothy grin, patiently. It was a good sign she hadn’t immediately closed the door with a “no”. Finally, she hesitantly replied as she reached out to take my paw.

“Kinda… but if something goes wrong, I can’t guarantee that I won’t take action…”

“Good enough!” I gave her paw, uh, hand a gentle squeeze, letting her feel the muscles and calloused edges my deceptive fur hid. Unlike some, I think she’s reassured at the power, speed, and training I hold in reserve. Being bodyguard in a place of powerful people, I’m willing not to advertise any potential advantages. She squeezed back and allowed me in, with her other hand going reflexively to rest near a knife. Heh, what a doll!

“So,” I tell her. “For our date, the Boss sent along this amulet. It has his symbol on it, and has the following properties: if you are killed, it will Gate you back to the Boss’s chambers, and cast a resurrection on you. It’s only good for one shot, so try not to be followed. He thought you might find it reassuring.” She nodded thoughtfully and took the amulet, examining it carefully. Her eyes widened a little as she felt its warmth. Putting it around her neck, she lifted her hair over the leather lace. The amulet snuggled in the notch where her collarbones came together and I heard it hum comfortingly as it started filtering her life essence. If she’d been even slightly sick before, she’d be fine now. I can’t have my date claiming a headache. I nearly snorted in amusement at the thought when I remembered how the females of the species used that as an excuse, and for what. I restrained myself, wouldn’t want her to feel self-conscious about me randomly laughing. I’m just a mirthful sorta pig sometimes.

“Also, Elladan sent these along…when I threatened to tell the Boss about the time he was gonna use paint thinner on Zool,” I continued to myself. I handed over four knives in thin flat sheathes. I don’t like to twist ‘Dan’s tail but I think he respects that I don’t drop pellets when he talks. At least, he hasn’t killed me out of annoyance yet. I smiled. Yet. I decided I probably shouldn’t mention that ‘Dan was the one who told me how to get to where we were going. People get the wrong idea about him. “They’re a loan he said. They’re glasstine, strong as steel, but won’t show up on a metal or weapon detector. He warned me to tell you they’re a bitch to recover if you accidentally drop one – you can’t they’re nearly transparent to sight and locate spells.”

“So, now that all that’s said, are you ready to have fun?” I struggled not to laugh at her expression and waited for it…

“So … where are we going?”

“To the multi-universe’s biggest amusement park,” I enthused. Honestly, I love roller coasters. “I hope you have a head for heights!” Safe bet the way she climbed like squirrel, and the green brown camouflage was a dead give-away. She’d make a good sniper. I looked around the room with professional interest as she stepped into the other room to exchange knives. Nice, no view of the bed from the opened door. Simple precaution too many targets don’t take. She came out in two shakes of Mary’s Familiar’s tail, and I held out my hand again.

“Ready?” I took her grasp as assent and Cast. I think she might’ve shouted something like “eep”, but it was lost in the Planar snap. I love taking people for a ride, ‘specially when I don’t have to off them at the end. I’m just friendly like that.

 

We came out as required, in a side alcove away from security and at least three meters from sentient beings. The spell has taken a while to get us there, and I could see why. There were more people than a server reset sale in the Nexus. I use the term people lightly. There were a number of normals – I could see pigs and sheep pulling the one-armed bandits from where I stood, the abnormals like humans and elves, and then the really strange. There was one thing in a tank that looked like a rainbow shimmering through a gas cloud, weaving in and out among the throng packing the joint. Nice operation with a good crowd. Probably raking off a good cut, I figured. There were a few nice girls in short skirts carrying each person’s poison – one gazelle had nice legs from here to there, but I immediately focused on the security. They weren’t obvious except for the radios disguised as hearing aids. No puma that age would have a hearing aid; maybe earplugs for the dull roar of the crowd, but not a hearing aid. I straightened my tie and pushed my fedora forward to shade my eyes from the glare of the neon lights. Miss Ayshela was peering around at the crowd, looking none too happy at the crowd, but playing along like champ. While I was casting the eyes around for signs leading to the amusement park section, a couple of toughs cut through the crowd toward us like cruise ship moving through tugboats. I mean, everyone just moved right out of their way without being obvious. When I had located the nearest exits and toughs, I focused on them. All three were dressed in tuxedos and fedoras with bad tailors. The leader was a stumpy-legged weasel followed by two wolverines who looked like they had hangovers. With a sigh, I slipped on the Faerie Dragon Ring the Boss had made that last world. Didn’t think I’d need the protection from magics, but the speed boost against the wolverines would be handy if anything went sour. With a reassuring smile to Miss Ayshela, I told her, “A couple of local heavies are headed our way. Just let me do the talking, okay?”

I think I know why Elladan had told me I’d fit right in. A Family ran this place.

 

The elevators were smooth and fast. Which was a good thing as the wolverines were pretty rank smelling. The air conditioning couldn’t keep up with their musk. No words had been spoken since the weasel whined a polite “B.B wants ta see youse.” My brother would’ve fit right in their mangled language.

It was a penthouse suite of course. The no-class guys always put their egos at the top. Chumps and pikers, but usually pretty dangerous. They’ve had to fight their way up. The secretary sat at the far side of a room the size of a barn. What a bird! She was filing her nails idly and ignored us as only a swan can. The carpet was ankle-deep plush. I always hated that weave, as I’m a heavy pig and my feet bind when I’m doing a spin. The heavies would have the same problem but the weasel would move over it like lightening. I shifted my weight up on my claws like I was ready to sprint. Probably looked somewhat funny, me walking with a slightly pigeon-toed walk, but anyone who’s fought a pigeon spell-singer wouldn’t laugh. Little squawkers can turn on a dime and give you eight cents change.

The weasel stopped us at the door. Frosted glass panel with “B.B. Wolf” on it in square black letters. The wood looked like a veneer over steel, would probably take a good four-hundred pound kick to pop it. I smiled at the wolverines polite-like, as I realized that the frame wasn’t reinforced, just the door. Guido and I would’ve dropped the hit on this joker and be downstairs flirting by now. Save me from amateurs. Funny thing was, it looked like old money – the wear on the handle said they’d been here a while.

Which told me the competition was pitiful. Give me my brother, Alfonse, and Rocky and we’d be running this place in a week. For that matter, Maria and Juliet. I reminded myself to stay on edge. I had a guest and the Boss was pretty clear on how the ladies of the Pen should be treated. Not that he –

It was like a lightening bolt hitting me. I knew where we were. This was the place the Boss lost his temper.

 

While we walk into the office, the wolverines peeling off to stand by either side of the door, the weasel waiting outside, let me fill you in. The guy behind the big desk really was a wolf, an old lobo with a cropped left ear and missing two claws off his left forepaw. He was ignoring us and scratching at some piece of paper. Really put me in my place, to be allowed to gander at the room while he stuffed his ego. But then, I’m just a placid sorta pig. I mentioned the stinkers now back by the door. The wolf had an oafish fat-looking grizzly with the brass-covered claws loafing against the wall behind him, while an expensive looking robin perched close to his side. Let me tell you, red-breasted just started to describe –

Naw, let me finish with the room. It was polished checkerboard black and white polished tiles. The walls were light green with many windows of doubled bulletproof glass where the shades weren’t drawn. Looked like steel-louvered with remotes. I could see the loops drops and spirals of my roller coaster waiting out there and was looking forward to making its acquaintance. Miss Ayshela was not wasting a word, but inside her subdued cloak, I figured she had a knife in both hands. She wasn’t the type to shrink and faint in a scuffle – unless it would distract the opposition. Good to have her at my back, but I missed Guido, big mouth and all.

The wolf squared his papers neatly with manicured claws, and decided we’d had enough time to realize how important he was. He looked up and I interrupted. Rude, but the Boss wasn’t here now, and from what I’d gotten out of Elrohir when they’d caught up with him in this place, he hadn’t been too polite.

“Yo dog, what're you thinking to pull a Sicilian into your office when all he wants is to enjoy the roller coaster? I’m on a date.” He started to darken and his eyes went a flat yellow. The grizzly straighten up and finally began looking me over and I could smell the battle-release of the wolverines. The one to the left began whining high in his throat. Poor saps couldn’t help it, but it gave away their positional advantage in being behind him. The wolf settled back in the chair and the robin casually stood up and moved her tail feathers over to look out the window. Lacquered runic implants glimmered on her legs; she was a Hat, a magic user for you illiterate types. See, I’m just a patient teacher sorta pig.

“I think you’re far away from your Family at the moment, little piggy,” B.B growled deep from in his throat.

“As to that, you don’t want to attract the kind of attention you’d get. But all that aside, there’s something you should know.”

“I think I’ll believe you between after you’ve learned manners.” I could hear the wolverines trying to move quietly up on me. Claws on tile? Saps.

I stepped aside from Miss Ayshela and pushed her a step forward.

“My what big eyes you got,” I remarked sarcastically, pushing my luck. They was starting to get my blood pressure up and I felt my fur rising along my spine. “Fix them peepers on her jewelry.” I whispered down to my wonderful lovely date, “Ma’am, would you be as kind as to bring forward your pendant into the light?” I can really spit out the fancy words when I want. Guido can speak seventeen languages and not one of them well. I’m just a literary sorta pig when I put on the posh.

Well, after a pause, which I attribute to sheathing a knife, she brings out the amulet. Let meese tell youse, when da Dòn sees dat shiner. Uh, excuse me. When the lupus Mafioso sees the amulet, everyone froze. I mean, they quit breathing. Except for the muscle coming up from behind, who are too blood-hungry and stupid to notice that the whole situation has changed.

Dòn Wolf surges to his feet and snarls at the muscle-boys, “Aaron, Thom, back off.” I love it when a boss thinks he can reclaim pride by abusing his boys. That’s the problem with pack-behavior mentality. So he walks all stiff-legged around his desk and comes toward us. The bear is sucking his paws with indecision and fear, and the stinkers are back by the door sulking. I consider telling him to stay his distance, but while he’s playing it cool, keeping steady eye contact, his tail has sneaked up between his legs and his big ears are flat back against his head.

He looks at the amulet with his big eyes, and smiles ingratiatingly-like at Miss Ayshela with his big teeth.

“M’Lady, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you were such a special visitor here. Please, allow me to extend to you the welcome of the management. I’m sorry for the confusion, heh, heh, heh.” Oh yeah, he’s an oily charmer he is. Probably robs little old grandmothers of their inheritance without blinking. “Please, any ride you want, you and your companion just go to the head of the line. If you want a prize, just claim it if the game is too hard. You want to play a game of chance? Show that little piece of jewelry and I personally guarantee you’ll win. And if you see him again,” (I’m trying not to laugh at this point. A pool is forming at his feet, and it isn’t lemonade. I imagine these bozos are too stupid to realize that they’re dead the minute we leave. He can afford to let them live, having seen such submission.) “Please, if you see him again, let him know that we treated you very well. Anything. Just ask.”

He walked us to the door himself, and let us out. I felt sorry for the bird, but them's the breaks when you run with the big wolves. We were waiting for the elevator when the fighting began. The elevator doors were closing when the grizzly flew bleeding through the office door. Knew that doorjamb was a weak spot; he didn’t even bounce once.

 

So we go down and security has a bubble around us, eyeing the crowd like their lives depended on it. It was kinda funny, the milk-bottles fell before she could throw the balls at them at the first game, until I told the carnie she wanted it fair. He didn’t believe me until I explained it gentle-like. After that, they all ran their games fair while they were there. The first guy wasn’t even bleeding hard when he apologized to Miss Ayshela. I guess the Boss is rubbing off on me. That lady can throw things better than Guido!

 

We rode the roller coaster and she didn’t ever get sick on me. It was wonderful. Wound up buildings, over the edges, jumped tracks occasionally and the five-second freefall onto the invisible track section was really exciting. I wasn’t worried for a minute, no matter what she says.

 

I couldn’t believe it, but after only two days, she actually fell asleep on the Ferris Wheel! I didn’t think it was possible for Miss Ayshela to fall asleep in public. I had some of the boys put her stuffed toys into a big bag for me, and carried her like a little piglet against my side as I took us home.

 

You know, for a pink little mostly-bald animal, she was a lot of fun to date.

[Peredhil]

Epilogue

 

It was about a week later when the package came for Miss Ayshela. It was good timing 'cause Elladan had asked for the knives back and she was a bit down. Guido was all mad that he'd missed the fun; I told him to go steal some of Elladan's knives for Miss Ayshela if he wanted to be useful. Shut him right up.

 

Anyway, the package wasn't a bomb. Instead, it turned out to be a big bear-skin rug, and two wolverine cloaks. Wolverine furs is funny in a way - it's the only one which doesn't build up ice from your breath in freezing temperatures.

I guess since the other one was outside, he must've managed to weasel his way back into B.B's good graces.

 

At least the date wasn't boaring...

 

-Nuncio

[Ayshela]

Ayshela awoke as Nuncio stepped back through to her chamber, startled and a bit embarassed. Asking Nuncio to wait just a moment, she disappeared briefly and came back with Elladan's knives and Peredhil's amulet to return. She gave them to Nuncio with a warm tight hug and bubbling thanks, she hadn't had that much fun in YEARS!

 

She watched him leave, then bolted her door, checked her security, and collapsed across her bed for a few hours.

 

The next week was spent fitfully prowling and pondering. Cursing herself for an idiot for not just ASKING Elladan where he'd gotten the knives, she stepped his direction three separate times and sheered off to something else every time. Would he understand how much she'd loved them? Would he realize she didn't want HIS, just to know who made them? This was Elladan, hard telling. Better not to risk it.

 

With a sigh, she continued prowling and pondering until Nuncio appeared again with a parcel. Odd. With a broad grin he unwrapped and unrolled a decidedly recognizable bear skin rug! Ayshela gave it one wide eyed look, then looked up at Nuncio, and they both burst out laughing! As he pulled a wolverine cloak out of the package as well, she laughed even harder at the thought of the wolverine now protecting HER as best it was able. Perhaps it would do a better job of protection in this form than his other?

 

As Nuncio left again, slightly warm from the gleeful hugs of thanks, Ayshela giggled softly to herself. A date with a bodyguard guaranteed there'd not be a dull moment! What fun!