Guest Oujisama Posted July 27, 2004 Report Posted July 27, 2004 I wrote this while writing to my girlfriend...I was sitting in a parking lot, and the sky was all gray and such. The colors of the pavement, sky, and trees just made me get this strong vibe, and I was compelled to write something. Hope ya dig it. :3 The quiet trees, Reaching their modest branches high, like soft felt tip pens, Trace their dreams in the sky, Coloring the mind with a sleepy green. Searching for places they'll never go, They etch their vision ever on, No limit in mind, No reason to ever stop... And those with loving hearts, Alike in humbleness, Will raise their arms as well, Inspired, And embrace the sketch of eternity, Holding it dear in their heart, Coloring their life with the forever green.
Ayshela Posted July 27, 2004 Report Posted July 27, 2004 neat! intriguing concept. i really like this: like soft felt tip pens, Trace their dreams in the sky, and the echoes in "etch their vision" and "sketch of eternity" are neatly done.
Mira Posted July 27, 2004 Report Posted July 27, 2004 First, you get tons of bonus points for using the words "vibe" and "ya dig it" in your opening paragraph. As for the poem I really liked it. The first stanza gives me the image of a forest of gigantic trees, all reaching for the heavens. While the last stanza gives me an image that mirrors the first, people reaching for the heavens. Over all, the poem leaves me with a feeling of somber hope, if that makes any sense.
Guest Oujisama Posted July 28, 2004 Report Posted July 28, 2004 Mmm, snazzy, bonus points. That's always good. *Grins* And I'm very glad to hear that you feel that way about my poem...that's exactly what I was trying to communicate. Success is its own encouragement, I think. =3 And thanks a lot Ayshela, that was my favorite part too, I think...I started out with that in mind...*nods* :wizzie: <-- I swear, this makes me smile a LOT...I'm not sure why, either...
Mira Posted July 28, 2004 Report Posted July 28, 2004 Don't you love that feeling when someone 'gets' your work. I know I do. Hope to see more good stuff in the future.
Ayshela Posted July 28, 2004 Report Posted July 28, 2004 *nodnod* nice when you get that one starting point and the rest flows out of that and it *works* *huggles* neat stuff. Hope to see you posting more about here.
Salinye Posted July 28, 2004 Report Posted July 28, 2004 :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: :wizzie: Sending you a reason to smile a lot. I like the way your poem left me feeling. ~Salinye
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