Ayshela Posted July 26, 2004 Report Posted July 26, 2004 it's been too long since time and thoughts and access to a notepad have all run this direction at the same time. Liquid eyes of golden green Ever watch your every move. Tormented by the pain you bring, Mezmerized by dangled hope. Endless crush of close held dreams Guarded by a shattered heart, as Onward flow the days.
Salinye Posted July 30, 2004 Report Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) I like this, Ayshela. I think I can really relate to it. I really liked these two lines Tormented by the pain you bring, Mezmerized by dangled hope. It's that dangled hope that keeps us waiting so long, isn't it? ~Salinye Edited July 30, 2004 by Salinye
Merelas Posted July 31, 2004 Report Posted July 31, 2004 Liquid eyes of golden green Yay! Beautiful Description! I love the way it sounds!! You are awesome, post more often! My only criticism with this was that it was really short... and that's ok, because you wrapped it up, but it left me wanting more. I can't get over the eyes line! Yay! Kudos to you, Ayshela.
Ayshela Posted July 31, 2004 Author Report Posted July 31, 2004 *g* and i'm thinking i'm going to have to post bonus points for anyone who hasn't had it pointed out to them, who can tell me the *other* reason why it was titled thusly. Thank you, Merelas. That was half of what it began with, and i was pleased with how well it flowed to form from there.
cryptomancer Posted July 31, 2004 Report Posted July 31, 2004 It is a haunting image you show it so few lines. The image of the first line is a strong one, experence has shown me similar images, just different colours, and holding onto dreams can bind as firmly as the eyes that once held so much promise. I was reminded of a song by Billy idol, called "eyes without a face" the deep emotion and uncertainty, knowing the look of love in the eyes of someone, not knowing if it is still there, not seeing it, but being bound to looking for it still. Beautiful words, Thank you.
Peredhil Posted July 31, 2004 Report Posted July 31, 2004 I know! I know! but only because you told me. Really well done.
Ayshela Posted July 31, 2004 Author Report Posted July 31, 2004 and i realized it might be, when *you* didn't catch it. thank you.
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