DoPeY Posted July 23, 2004 Report Posted July 23, 2004 this poem means a lot to me, it has a second meaning read it first ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- when i was down, god gave me hope he sent her to me to keep my dreams afloat i was standing on the edge, he pushed me off the cliff i fell past rock bottom into a never ending pit in trouble with the law in more ways then one almost ruined my life, god what have i done starting to not believe in the almighty lord not knowing his plan, n what he had in store for a thug with potential going down the wrong path will he make me take a u-turn or make me feel the wrath of life it doesnt matter either way i'll do my best to make it through cant see the obstacles what am i gonna do everything you can imagine going wrong all around a lightning strike hit me, and left me lying on the ground rain pouring down hitting me from head to feet im not sure how long i was there unconscious in the street please, god, dont leave me hopeless ill do anything i need to succeed, i gotta focus sometimes i wonder, what i would amount to if we had never met and i had to live without you please, god, dont leave me hopeless ill do anything i need to succeed, i gotta focus sometimes i wonder, what i would amount to if we had never met and i had to live without you the very next day i was sitting in class the bell rung, i walked out, n saw a bright flash then all of a sudden standing right in front of me was the most beautiful girl that i had ever seen i looked at her neck and saw "angel" on her chain i walked up, introduced myself, n she told me her name i asked if she was from heaven, n she replied with "thats right" so she gave me her # and told me to call her that night me n that girl we could talk for hours she especially liked it when i surprised her with flowers our relationship was more than priceless like discover we were inseparable respectable and like no other there was no doubt in my mind that she was the love of my life and there was no doubt in my heart that id make her my wife i couldnt imagine a day without her by my side so please dont take her away from me please, god, dont leave me hopeless ill do anything i need to succeed, i gotta focus sometimes i wonder, what i would amount to if we had never met and i had to live without you please, god, dont leave me hopeless ill do anything i need to succeed, i gotta focus sometimes i wonder, what i would amount to if we had never met and i had to live without you until now i didnt know how this story would end or how my friend gone wife could backtrack back to friend all i know is somewhere along the line i messed up and failed it seems like ive taken the last breath that my lungs would inhale regardless of when or how you have your heart broken you feel like your fire's extinguished, the tribal council has spoken this indescribable feeling dwelling deep inside your soul you're empty now, shes stolen from your once strong and prideful whole crying denying accepting regreting is all i've been doing since she packed up and left me regretting accepting once again followed by mending reflecting forgetting protecting correcting now the memory of her scent makes me nauseous and the scent of her memory has made me more cautious yea i thought she was the one but there's no time to mope even though ive lost her, god will always bring me hope ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i was dating a girl named hope, and she was my best friend, and my girlfriend for some time, shes helped me a lot through things so "Hopeless", aside from meaning without hope, also means im without her now...thats why it means so much to me
Peredhil Posted July 23, 2004 Report Posted July 23, 2004 Wonderfully brave putting your cry from the heart into poetry (or music, it felt like a hip-hop song to me). *hugs*
Wyvern Posted July 25, 2004 Report Posted July 25, 2004 I also really like this poem, Dopey. The subject matter is heartfelt and the lines are all phrased very well. I particularly like when the narrator first catches sight of the girl in the poem, as I thought that the chain reading "angel" was a very original detail that drove across the narrators emotions strongly. I also agree with Peredhil that the poem could work well as a hip hop song, as I could definitely envision it being read to music when I looked through it. Very good poem.
DoPeY Posted July 25, 2004 Author Report Posted July 25, 2004 ALL my poems are hip hop songs this might not be my best work but it is by far my favorite, my favorite part of it is "now the memory of her scent makes me nauseous and the scent of her memory has made me more cautious" as soon as i wrote it, it reminded me of sage or slug but only wyvern would know about that
Recommended Posts