Falcon2001 Posted July 21, 2004 Report Posted July 21, 2004 Sinking into a bathtub filled with solid cubes of ice The cold sunk into my skin already I stare alive at the ceiling And wonder how long it's been since I died. I walk through halls filled with vitality And wonder when it happened. Did I drink something that disagreed with me? Was I poisoned covertly in my sleep? Or did the novacaine set in at the dentists And never decide to fade? Where did all the feeling go Why is my world painted in gray? Why don't I feel afraid or disturbed Why can't I remember your smile What happened to my memories When did I die? The boxes I place upon the shelves Are they merely a dream, a fantastic vision Somehow my soul persisting yet Though it died so many days hence Why doesn't the music revitalize me anymore Why do the memories fade What happened to all the greens and blues Why did they have to fade In a world of shadows and twilight Why am I not afraid I must have had feeling once Else how would I know what was gone Will I awake in a wooden tomb Or a watery grave 'neath the sea Have I already died and just kept going When did I become so numb?
Vlad Posted July 21, 2004 Report Posted July 21, 2004 Ooohh, so visual and metaphorical. I love it. I love how the poem seems to be soft-spoken or non-chalant, As if to say "I'm too numb to feel dead." The flow broke a few times, you can PM me if it matters. It shouldn't though, I only noticed it on my third read. It didn't strike me as a love poem (of sorts) at first, bbut you pulled that off nicely. Well done Fal.
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