Pop-tart traumas

[Jade]

Thoughts of unfinished meals flit through my brain

As I remember that I can't even toast pop-tarts

Without the fear of flames licking the smoke as the alarm announces that I

Have failed miserably and now my breakfast is smoldering.

But at least before I dumped water on the appliance

I remembered to yank the slighly damp, cloth cord

lacing along the edge of the counter

With metal fangs gouged in the wall waiting for water to ignite cool venom.

[Wyvern]

I think that this is a really excellent poem, Jade. Your uses of original details and intriguing subject matter really held my attention throughout it, and they rendered the whole work very realistic and personal. The event described in the poem seems to vaguely hint at a certain brush with suicide to me, as even though it would have technically been an accident if the narrator had forgotten to unplug the toaster, the manner that electricity is referred to as "cool venom" suggests a certain attraction to it. The way that the narrators failures and lack of self-esteem are shown through thoughts of her failed pop-tart breakfast is also superb.

 

Great poem, Jade. One of the best I've read, recently.

[Finnius]

This real life drama reminds me of the time my brother tried to microwave a pop-tart. He was... shall we say a bit on the stupid side. Put it in for ten minutes. The result looked nothing like a pop-tart, but was black and had bowed outwards in the middle like a volcano. Nuclear pop-tart.

 

On a serious note, I really enjoyed the piece. S'got a frantic pace and a tongue-in-cheek tone that I really enjoyed.

[Ayshela]

*giggles*

i laughed heartily when i read this, recalling moments of jammed toasters and shrieking smoke detectors.

 

This, however,

With metal fangs gouged in the wall waiting for water to ignite cool venom.

is stunning. I wish i had something more eloquent to say than "WOW!" but since that's all there is at the moment, i'll just let that be.