Clay Sculptures

[Katzaniel]

Katzaniel, spear in one hand and a briefcase in the other, trots along the conservatory, observing the kissing booth (nah, none of the occupants would appreciate a kiss from a mostly-female in a mostly-male body), the bachelor auction (nah, thanks to Finnius' antics, I can no longer be considered single), and even witnessing the tagging of Tanuchan (nah... I'm open to participation, but I'm not gonna go parading myself as such), Katzaniel finally comes to an empty booth.

 

She lets herself in, pushes the chair outside, and sets up. The spear she leaves leaning against a wall, but the briefcase she opens and places so that its contents are visible to the general public, but reachable to herself. Underneath a wooden sign, which she removes, the case is an array of coloured moldable clay. There are also a few figurines which she lines up for display along the other side of the booth. As Katzaniel makes herself comfortable and begins using the spear to help absentmindedly shape some bits of the clay, a deliveryman with a big cardboard box on a dolly arrives at the scene.

 

"You Katzaniel?" he says, roughly pronouncing the syllables from the sheets on his clipboard.

 

"I am."

 

"Sign here." He hands her his clipboard.

 

Katzaniel does, thanking him for the prompt delivery and paying the fee. When he leaves, she tears open the box and finds a place for its contents, a medium-sized cooking oven, inside the booth. Finally, she hangs the sign and returns to carving.

 

Clay Sculptures

Buy a clay figurine of yourself!

These take some time, so to better match demand with supply I will go with the highest bidder at whatever moment I am ready to make one.  Bids begin at 10 Geld.  Payment upon receipt of the sculpture.

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Additionally, do you want to be part of a chess set?  Sign up here:

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OOC: I will actually make a 1 or 2 inch clay piece of your character, but I won't be able to do more than send you pictures of it. Still, pictures can be used in a variety of ways. If you sign up, make sure you provide me with a detailed physical description, including position please. Since I have no idea how often I will have time to make one, and I don't really want to turn someone down who really wants one, I have decided to go with an auction system. Like I said, whenever I have time to begin one I will check the current bidders and begin, informing the winner. I will begin the first today if there are any bids. Oh, and if you think your piece would go well in a chess set, sign up for that too. If I make enough to complete a set, Tam and I will probably actually use it! Thanks.

 

Samples - Click on "Clay".

[Katzaniel]

Katzaniel, after making an elephant and a giraffe (OOC: yes, really) gets bored and sets up a mini-booth right next to the sculpture one, with some stacks of paper, some extra pens and pencils, and a sign:

 

Chaos Melder:

Fit these things together without making it seem contrived.

• The phrase 'Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!''

   

• An angry Swedish matchmaker.

   

• A melted candle.

   

• Four hippopotami with a cheetah.

   

• A heart-shaped pillow.

Completion of this will result in either 5 geld or a free clay sculpture, depending on whether you want one or not (post description if you do) and whether perhaps this creates a huge insurgance of interest.

[Ozymandias]

Ozymandias happens by Katzaniel's booth just then. He smiles as he sees her, opens his mouth to say something, then stops abruptly as his eyes widen, reading the mini-booth sign after the main one.

 

 

"Now that's a heck of a request!"

 

Snatching a ream of paper, he begins scrawling hastily, filling the page.

 

After eyeing his work, it is crumpled into a little ball and tossed over his shoulder.

 

"No."

 

More scrawling. Another examination.

 

"No."

 

Scrawling. Examination. Tossed.

 

"No."

 

Scrawl, examine, toss.

 

"No..."

 

This continues for hours.

 

(OOC: That's a toughie! But give me time, oh yes...)

[Quincunx]

Hmm hmm hmm. . .Before I get my heart set on bidding for a character, is there a color limit per figurine? or are they painted and therefore the question is silly?

[Katzaniel]

The colours are limited only by what I can mix, which basically means no. I work from a clay that is similar to plasticine. It comes in a box with the primary and secondary colours, as well as black and white, and I make all my greys, browns, pinks, skin tones, and shades from that. In fact very little of what I use is one single colour from the box.

 

I guess I'm just worried 'cause now you're gonna test me but if you can describe a colour well enough (perhaps via the HTML codes? I've just added a colour table to my site, linked above) then I will do the best I can.

 

PS. I don't think you'll need to bid very high

[Gnarlitch]

Sven was angry, very much so in fact. Not only had that damned pirate ruined his most recent matchmaking, but he had also ruined one of his fancy heart-shaped silk pillows by knocking over a candleabra and covering it in melted candle wax and scorching it somewhat. Sven had entered his shop to find Gertrude and the pirate in a sexual act atop his favorite coffee table, you know, the one with the cheetah-skin top supported by four hippopotomi for the base? Well, anyways, he caught them in the act and the pirate had dived out the window, seeing as Sven was accompanied by the village blacksmith, Gunter, at the time, Gunter being the one betrothed to Gertrude. The last anyone had heard or seen on the pirate was him running down the street, yelling like a madman, "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, but my oh my [bleep]ing Gertrude was fun!"

 

Edited July 11, 2004 by Gnarlitch

[Katzaniel]

That was awesome, Gnarlitch. You used "matchmaker" differently than I had thought, but that's the point of the exercise, right? Creativity I mean. Anyway, did you want a figurine or the geld?

 

"...cheetah-skin top supported by four hippopotomi for the base..."

[Peredhil]

Curtain up.

On stage, are Salinye dressed in matronly attire as an Austrian Matriarch circa 1700s.

Alaeha sits in a wooden rocking chair, creaking and embroidering on a satin heart-shaped pillow. She is dressed in simple browns and blacks, and her hair is under a kerchief.

Stage left is a table. One of its four legs is short, propped with a brick. Table center is a thick white wax candle of spiral design. Spaced evenly down the side facing the audience (down stage) are small black wooden pegs. Several wax-laden pegs lie in the white wax pool around the candle.

Stage right is a stout chest with an large obvious lock closing it. Upstage center is a door, while stage right on the wall beside the door is a four-pane window (black glass) with plain curtains held to sides with twine ties.

 

Action starts with Salinye pacing.

 

Salinye: Stops and glares at the candle. Look at the time. There be only four more hours until the dawn pegs fall. I sit with no husband, a willing spinster, and a melted candle for nought!

 

Alaeha: without looking up Prithee Mother, calm thyself. Thou are not sitting, thou indeed stand or stride like a cheetah, with great haste.

 

Salinye: Turns her glare on Alaeha and begins pacing again. Ever thou jests, as time's hands clench me tight and seek to draw me to a widow's grave! What and what again, do you think you'll continue such life of reading and contemplation after I be gone? Fine it was for you when thy father indulged you and considered thy stubborn ways to be the charm of willful child. He was ever "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!'' to his boon companions, but when work came he was ever to be found telling you his traveling lies. Now he lies wormbait and thy sixteenth birthday approach and thou aren't still unwed. Nay, unpromised and uncourted!

 

Alaeha: The so-called men of this town are wretched beasts. Beasts! Thou has had laden the table with foolish feasts that fatten them for time's slaughter. Stuffing faces they spout fatuous lies and seek to pinch my knees under thy own table, with your willing encouragement! I'm not a beast, not to be bartered. My father, thy husband, was better man in his cups than any of the courtly or rich bulls you pasture here on Sabboth! You, Lady Cheetah waiting on your purchased Baba Yaga! Next Sunday it will be Lady Cheetah and her beast supping while I suffer the onslaught of lamely lustful rhymes!

 

Salinye: Beasts! Men of substance willing to put up with venomous shrew! With thy spiteful tongue thou has put many suitor to flight! comely on outside but a thousand stings within, my little honeybee. Humble thyself and assure your future! What is woman without man? Leaf tossed by every passing rogue breezing by, 'till weighted down with bastard child!

 

Alaeha: As thou, sweet mother, would seek to weight me with one of thy beasts? Should I seek to escape next supper? I'd leave behind me four hippopotami with a cheetah!

 

Salinye: River horses now? Such fables were fine when thou rests thy face on father's knee, to gaze with shining eyes at his lies, but the only horses belong not to us! Clean is our stable, for nothing sleeps within.

Stomps to window and looks out. Drat that man, taking a portion of thy dowry and disappearing! Sworn he is to come hither tonight, bringing the best youth of the next town to meet thee!

 

Alaeha: A Swedish matchmaker thou hired, and wonder why he fled. He's not traveled in to next hamlet in this weather; he's safely home in bed. My dowry, my fortune, lies not in yon chest, points to chest on floor or even in this one! points to bosum. My treasures are in here points to head and heart and cannot be bartered to callow youth!

 

Salinye: Oh treasures indeed! Empty head and hateful heart, presented to the man as advertising and we'd have an angry Swedish matchmaker! Nay, silver, gold, even sweet words and heaving chest might sell. A woman with brains? Never!

 

Knock at the door. Salinye smooths her apron and fixes a smile on her face. Alaeha glares at the door and sets the pillow at her side against the chair, facing the audience. A large jagged yellow Lighting bolt splits the red heart.

 

Salinye Opening door: Welcome sir, though late the hour! We two have waited most eagerly on thy arrival!

 

Alaeha Aside to audience: We two? She be aside herself with desire to sell my maidenhead.

 

enter the Swedish Matchmaker (Gyrfalcon) carrying Zool's Portrait. Zool is dressed in his usual unique splendor. Salinye stares in dismay as Zool winks an animated eye at her.

 

Gyrfalcon: Nay nay, I know and here's thy refund less travel expense. Of all the towns nearby, thy brat's fame is spread. No decent man will seek this viper's bed. Only this enchanted Prince Zool waves a lace hanky and rolls his eyes. an interest has expressed. I convinced him that in stories and conversations thine daughter was apt, and with portrait as husband, she can stay dressed. Zool visibly starts and frowns at this last, but looks hopefully at Alaeha. She blushes at the visible lust, but doesn't turn away.

 

Salinye: Observes the byplay between daughter and painting with a calculating look, then looks the Matchmaker up and down. Lean Master Paint against the table then, and let us bargain. Once maiden is betrothed and wed, this house will have an empty bed. Widowed am I, but not nearly dead. Gyrfalcon returns the look she gives him with interest. Perhaps I'll be using your services, Matchmaker, in the future...

 

Curtain falls.

 

Gyrfalcon comes out and addresses audience.

 

Maiden and Prince converse each night and are happy, but the wedding was hard to arrange. Finally a hermit monk was paid a pittance and a cask of wine and agreed to marry the magical duo. If ever they kiss, his enchantment will break and they may seek his kingdom. Thus far, she shows no interest at all.

Under the modest clothes was a tigress heart, after the daughter was gone, we wooed and wed with cheetah's speed. Soon we'll return to my Swedish mountains and climb together to ecstasy's heights.

 

All's well that ends better!

[Tanuchan]

*claps enthusiastically*