Big ones...

[disizmrkent]

I need not a lady whose person is rare,

or someone who may accomplish the earth.

I just need a lady who can always be there...

and who doesn't have too much girth.

 

I need not a woman whose face is the sun,

or whose eyes are the moon and stars.

I only request a woman with beauty...

who can actually fit into my car.

 

I am not a picky man in the least,

but I have just one very simple request;

That the lady I have is not a beast...

and I do not suffocate with my head on her breast.

Edited June 17, 2004 by disizmrkent

[Parmenion]

I read this poem and the word that sprung to mind (with no offence to the author intended) was "shallow".

 

It leads the reader to believe that the protagonist of the poem (be it a fictional or real persona on which the poem is based) is the kinda of person who sees the opposite gender with girth and does not consider that person human to the same extent that he/she considers themself.

 

The reason I say this is due to the condescending and somewhat facetious manner of description with regard to the type of person the protagonist doesn't want.

 

I have read other poems by yourself and I have found your work in general to be of high standard and although I appreciate that this is art, the implied humour I found strained and lacking due to the subject matter.

 

Edited June 19, 2004 by Parmenion

[Beautiful Nightmare]

Is this supposed to be a joke of some kind? I actually find it quite offensive and you seem very shallow i think you should rent out that movie shallow hal

[disizmrkent]

The funny part is how this poem came to happen. I had a woman of "considerable size" that called me a "skinny b*tch" and said my girlfriend was somethign I won't say... funny how it now goes both ways. So, in response to watching "Shallow Hal" I have seen it, and I thoguht the story was very appropriate. My mother is a woman who's pretty large, and I have some friends who aren't exactly thin. But I figure this isn't for everyone, and I will not apologize for the poem. It's not to you, or your friends, but rather to dumb people who aren't understanding that people come in all shapes and sizes. It was good opportunity to let the world know that the skinny people won't take it either! Take a joke, realize I'm mocking people, and have some fun. I wouldn't have done or said anything if I hadn't been inspired anyway. Besides, we all need to laugh once in a while....

[Peredhil]

All humor is based on some type of pain, according to Heinlein.

 

If you think about it, that's a pretty sound foundation. Humor as pain, or the threat of pain, such as surprise. About the only thing which avoids that are terrible puns - but then, the pun is setting up an expectation and then twisting it.

 

If the poem had been an American commercial about a fat man who's wife bailed him out of his thoughtless unwise action - it prolly would've passed without comment. Most cultures have blind spots like that.

 

Look at the joke thread in the Cabaret and really analyze the jokes - are there any which could hurt someone if they applied it as a reality to them?

 

I thought this was written as an attempt at humor, and took it as such. Actually, my first reaction was to remember Queen's "Fat bottomed Girls" and Sir Mixalot's "big butts" song (which after watching Shrek forever has a dragon associated with it).

 

Laugh at pain and it cowers...

[Alaeha]

Hmm... personally, I skimmed through the poem and read the feedback, because the "Shallow" comment caught my eye. Then I went and read the poem.

 

Honestly, I think it's funny. Slightly shallow seeming, certainly, but turnabout is definitely fair play. It seems far more shallow and unfair that "skinny" people are supposed to listen to everyone else saying "eat more" or "you're too skinny" and whatever else without comment, but can't turn it around.

 

Some of the mechanics of the poem are annoying, particularly having the -east sounding rhymes in the same stanza as the -est sounding rhymes, but I honestly don't see why this one's gotten a negative reaction.

[disizmrkent]

I didn't even notice the "east" and "est" sounding words in the same line.. That kinda IS weird when I read it. Thanks a load, I'll look out for that from now on...

[The Portrait of Zool]

One of the things that kept Monty Python inspired throughout their career (don't believe me, rent their documentary "Life of Python") was the unending search for new groups to outrage.

 

Poking people in their soft spots (pun not intended, sorta) can be educational all around.

[disizmrkent]

HAHAHAHA!! Soft spots was funnier when you said, "pun not intended..." I like that (and the monty python thing was good too.....)

Edited June 23, 2004 by disizmrkent