Jade Posted June 16, 2004 Report Posted June 16, 2004 (edited) Just about every time you even yawn I want to ask, "Why are you doing this to me?" Because everything is a personal attack. When all I know are looks of disgust, outrage, and disbelief It's pretty easy to confuse banal indifference with the emotions and expressions I've begun to claim as my own. And I'd like to know why I'm told to "stop talking" Was what I said that offensive when I only asked "why?" I'm sure your interpretation of my three-letter-word Was veiled in disproportionate ingredients of hate: One part envy, one part ignorance, and two parts fear mixed in with the "sugar and spice and everything nice" that is supposed to come with the trade. God, I must have missed the shipment. But at least I'm honest. I'll be more than happy to tell you that you happen to be hands down the most intolerant person I've ever come into contact with. That any single man or woman that does not come from an All-white, All-American, God fearing home Should do anything but bow down at your feet as subservient, must be an absolute moron. I'd never known any organism could function on half a brain cell... But that was before I met you. And now that I've met you, I seem to realize how a public school might be confused for a chapel And the obvious solution to any car troubles would be to open the hood. I've been called names, that if my father only knew, Well, he'd be buying a shotgun and cleaning it real slow. And I know I have my faults. I use yours as my shield. Brandishing them like an ice scraper at an approaching stranger in a parking lot. Cause when I finally find the courage to wonder who I am and what I've done When the camera's shutter speed is fast and the picture clear I'll know that people break Quite simply like the Supple snap of a young tree branch as it's bent against it's length By the quick and quiet glances that play no games and hide no facts By the cold glance and lack of tact like the Christmas lights on my front porch in July But at least now, we can answer that simple question "why?" Edit: Changed later to letter. Thanks Katzaniel. Edited June 16, 2004 by Jade
Katzaniel Posted June 16, 2004 Report Posted June 16, 2004 (edited) Wow. I really liked the style of this, and the message. One mistake I noticed is "three-later-word" should be "three-letter-word" (unless I missed something). Boy I wish I were better at doing positive feedback, this reply is so short... but other than to say I liked it, I'm not sure what else there is. I just think you used all the right words in all the right places and hit the right mood with the line lengths and so forth, and I liked your style. Cheers. Edit: Yikes, making my comment more cohesive. Edited June 16, 2004 by Katzaniel
Parmenion Posted June 19, 2004 Report Posted June 19, 2004 (edited) I am not sure that I can comment with constructive feedback either. Suffice to say that I read throught it and at the end felt like I wanted to give the person in it a good smack in the jaw. "Stop talking" indeed...*thumps the one that said that!* Y'know they say violence is the answer to nothing. I always found that people with broken jaws tended to talk a lot less, but then again I am a mad irishman You engendered emotion from me while reading so you definitely done something right! Edited June 19, 2004 by Parmenion
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