RandomTarget#22 Posted May 20, 2004 Report Posted May 20, 2004 Remember those times, before we were through, I said, “We feel so good because the love is true.” That it was an expression of me loving you. A simple expression, but one pure and true. Whenever I gave all of my love to you, You gave it back, full, pure and true. And we were joyful, just us two. It was an expression of me loving you. Sometimes the pressure would rip us apart, But even then, we would not lose this art. You still gave it back to me, full and true. We were still joyful, just us two, It was still an expression of me loving you. When we were finished, for a few days, You came back to me, alone in a daze. Again I gave all of my love to you, And you gave it back, full pure and true. For a while we were joyful, just us two, Even after all that, the love was still true. It was still an expression of me loving you. Then I was gone, to the east I flew. We learned a lot, both me and you. We both decided that our love was true, So when I came back, I got to see you. And you kissed me, and I kissed you. After being apart, our love still felt true. But we decided I must wait for you. We should hold off ‘till our friendship is true. It really seemed like the best thing to do. So I wrote down expressions of me loving you; Even on paper, they were still true. We traveled together, to the place we go to, Just to be friends, pure and true. Although we had love, I knew what to do: To be the best friend in the whole world to you, And in that regard, my intentions were true, I wouldn’t even sleep close to you. But then it seemed like you wanted me to, And it truly was something I wanted to do. I saw no harm when our love was still true; So after some time I agreed with you, And we made a bed, just for us two. We felt good because our love felt true. Then you asked me to give my love to you. You said, “What’s the harm when our love is still true?” Though we were friends, we were still me and you, And so I did not know what I should do. To convince me you said, “It might as well be you.” I might as well be with a love that’s still true. After that, I knew what I wanted to do. I could not risk you being with someone untrue, My mind would turn black and my heart would turn blue, So I gave you my love, full, pure and true. It was an expression of me loving you. And then something happened which ripped us apart. It soiled my thoughts and it bloodied my heart. The love went just one way, from me to you. It left me wanting our love to be true I wanted some love given to me, from you. But I still thought that our love was true; So I gave you more love, from me to you. I was still hoping that you would come through. I thought you would not want my heart to turn blue. I still felt down deep that we were still true. I was wrong, we were not true. I saw no love to me from you. By the end of the night, my heart had turned blue. All my love was gone, it was given to you, And I had nothing to help get me through, Except for this book to write my thoughts of you, To the beasts of my mind, it is a zoo. I know it’s not something that you meant to do; To pick up my heart, and to rip it in two; To drink from my soul and replace it with goo; To destroy the expression of me loving you; To make our great love into something untrue. So we’ll still be friends, me and you. Maybe some day our love will be true. And we will be joyful, just us two. But, for now, my heart is still blue, Because of the love gone from me to you. I know at some point, that I will get through, To again fill with visions of me loving you, And again begin writing them down in my zoo. But until then, my heart will be blue; Wishing that our love had been true.
DL_Snake Posted May 22, 2004 Report Posted May 22, 2004 quite well-written...but there's just something that's hitting me as 'something wrong' with it....i dunno what it is..i just feel like it can be improved (yet i dunno how hahaah) maybe it's just me.....but I like it anyway
Katzaniel Posted May 22, 2004 Report Posted May 22, 2004 I enjoyed it, but I found that the line "To the beasts of my mind, it is a zoo." tripped me up, interupting the otherwise smooth flow.
Xaious, Master of Time Posted May 22, 2004 Report Posted May 22, 2004 .... ... ... Wordless... How it's greatness left me, wordless. That was..wonderful.... Good job.
RandomTarget#22 Posted May 23, 2004 Author Report Posted May 23, 2004 That poem was just the result of me spilling my brains the morning after, while she was still asleep. Not really meant for an audience, but rather for internal catharsis. I don't know what made me post it here, maybe I just wanted to see what responce it would get. Anyway.. thanks for your thoughts. I agree it's not the greatest poem, but it seemed to convey what I felt at the time quite well.
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