The Quincuinox

[Ayshela]

Ayshela and Kaitlyn had safely reached the door of the conservatory when they heard a horrendous crash behind them. Spinning around, they saw the space ship finally coming to a halt in front of the panicky, scattering line of people. "Oh," Ayshela said, turning back around with a shrug. "Another guest must be arriving." She took Kaitlyn by the hand and led her into the conservatory.

 

Standing inside the doorway, she scanned the room with one eyebrow slowly raising. Chocolate pool - check. Flaming dance floor - check. Nearing the refreshments table, she checked it over carefully. Spiked drinks and insane varieties of foods - check.

 

Turning to Kaitlyn, she shook her head slightly and said "No, we'll have to find something else -" Her eyes widened as she saw Xaious appear behind Kaitlyn with a small glass of what appeared to be a sugary drink in his hand. He looked at her, then motioned wordlessly toward Kaitlyn with a questioning look. Ayshela smiled and stepped close enough to Xaious to speak without shouting - and to check out the glass he held. It *appeared* to simply be a flavoured, highly sugared concoction. Odd. Nodding approval to Kaitlyn she continued to speak with Xaious and scan the crowd to see what all was happening. One sugary drink would surely do Kaitlyn no harm... and with a sudden slap to her forehead she wondered what in the WORLD she was thinking?? This was not only a Pen Party, this was a WYVERN Party - the concept of "no harm" did not exist!

 

Turning quickly back toward Kaitlyn she was just in time to see the sugar rush hit, and Kaitlyn nearly vibrated in place. Xaious laughed and asked if he could take her for a bit, and at Ayshela's wide-eyed "sh.. sure!" he swung Kaitlyn up and carried her off whispering *something* that made her giggle uncontrollably.

 

Looking around her, Ayshela wondered briefly.. This is the Pen.. this is Xaious.. how bad could it get? She looked around again and wished she hadn't asked that, and wished even more desperately she'd brought her scotch with her.

[Xaious, Master of Time]

"and THAT's the real reason you should avoid Wyvern at all costs." Xaious had just told Kaitlyn in her ear, and she promptly burst out laughing.

This was great. He loved little children; they're so fun! Resilient little buggers, and love sugar almost as much as him! How could he not love children, and then..the child of Ayshela herself? Good lord! A passing thought of how many huggles he'd have before teh night was over flashed through his mind, and he chuckled.

"What is it?" Kaitlyn asked him.

"Ah, just..a thought..." Xaious smiled, then recalled something else as Kaitlyn bounced around, now on his shoulders.

"Hey, Kait, I got a surprise for ya!" Xaious reached behind his back, grabbed her beneath the arms, and flipped her over his head, holding her upside down in front his face.

"Yes?" she asked, curious-as all children are.

Xaious chuckled again.

"I have something in my jacket pocket for you, if you want to find out what it is." He smiled.

Curious, hyped on sugar, and hoping for more, Kaitlyn quickly reached into his pocket.

"OWWWWW!" she yelped, pulling her hand, bloodied, out of his pocket. A dagger fell to the ground. And Kaitlyn was now crying loudly.

"Oh crap! I forgot about those!" Xaious exclamed, quickly pausing time to reach down and pick up the daggers somewhere safer on his person - or atleast safer from children.

Now stressed over his predicament - what, with Kaitlyn injured, Ayshela would probly want him dead - Xaious began pacing. Luckily, he had frozen everything but himself for this special emergency.

"Now let's see...Her hand is split wide open, blod gushing. I'm no medic, and I believe al the ones here right now are..yeah..They're all severely intoxicated; no help to him now..Wait..I'm speaking in third person now...Curses, this is bad."

"Ya know, I can help."

"Shut UP, Reid!"

"But I can!"

"James Reid, if you don't SHUT YOUR MOU...How?" "Simple." "That's not helping, kid." "Hey, I'm not a kid!" "Who cares, what is it?!" "Simple." "What did I tell you abou" "HEY! calm down!" "WELL THEN TELL ME WHA" "The kool-aide." "Wha?" "The kool-aide." "You'd better explain yourself right now." "Ok! You see, Kaitlyn's a little child, right? No more than " Yes, she's a little child, your point?" "Ok. What do little kids and your own kool-aide have in common?" "They're both very sweet?" "Bingo." "And this helps how?" "Well, you see, if they're both very sweet, then they're both made with lots of sugar, right?" "....Yea...Sounds logical....." "Right. I mean, it's worth a shot. Don't want Ayshela killing you, otherwise I won't be able to go there." "Fine then, good bye."And James Reid disappeared for a second time.

Following this, Xaious pulled out a couple of bottles of his sugary concoction and unfroze Kaitlyn, who still cried in pain. Unfortunately, it never _was_ easy to hold a hurting child still, so the best he could do was splash some of the sweet juice on her hands. Luckily, this calmed her down; she was now trying to lick it off her hands.

"Ok, Kaitlyn, I need you to work with me here, ok? I think I can fix you."

"You'd better..She won't be too happy when"

"If"

"She finds out this happened."

"Here, drink this." And Xaious handed her another bottle of his diabeticizing kool-aide, which Kaitlyn hastily drank up. And as she drank the liquid sugar, her hand healed up, leaving nothing more than a thin line of a scab.

"Now then, what would you like to" Xaios began, but Kaitlyn ran off into the yet unfrozen crowd, climbing all over numerous posing people; headed for the poor Gwaihir trapped beneath the halted undulating rotary vegetation.

"This won't be good." Xaious thought to himself, and ran after her, knocking over the occasional pennite, until he caught up with her.

"FUN!" She said as she slid down one of many gargantuan tendrils, catching onto Xaious's leg on the way.

"Gah!"

"Yay! It doesn't hurt!" Kaitlyn shouted.

*phew* Xaious took this as his cue to let time go again.

And he did. With a few pennites knocked over, and Wyvern was probly going to pester him for gold.

Not to mention how Ayshela would probly want to hurt him.....

[Peredhil]

Resting in the Paths of Time in his dreaming awake thoughts, in the way of Elves, Peredhil keeps a light touch on the party below as he meditates on the Whip of Rydia and all the spiralling implications such a gift can have.

 

Feeling Knight, Kaityln and Ayshela, and others arrive, he realizes he should go mingle for a moment. Time attempts to gell and he slips sideways to avoid it, noting Xaious, the Dreamer, and a few others avoiding it as well.

 

Adjust that. Xaious, as usual, is the one playing tricks. And there is fear and pain.

 

Kaitlyn. One of the Children.

 

Insinuating a touch of healing into the frothing sugary bubble of time, Peredhil released the warmth and reassurance through Kaitlyn and then withdrew as Xaious and Kaitlyn continued.

 

On reflection, Xaious fit well at a Wyvern Party...

[WrenWind]

Wren drinks her koolaid and then begins to feel very energized."soooo much sugar.. I need to do something' Wren grabs hold of Snake and begins to dance him around the room carefully avoiding the pool of chocolate and trying not to step on anyones toes . When Knight walks into the room she stops dancing even though she hasn't seen him yet she can feel his presence. " Well ! Well! Well! Snake looks at Wren with curiosity. Wren doesn't seem to notice as her hand traces the necklace draped on her neck. She shakes it off and starts dancing again. She will catch up to Knight later.

[Alaeha]

Jirah snaked his way through the crowd, searching for Aleyn. Where had his blackclad friend run off to? This was a Wyvern party, and definitely not a time to be panicking.

 

Well, it was a fine time to be panicking, but hardly a convenient one.

 

But Aleyn was nowhere to be seen. He'd let Alaeha do the hunting. Kaitlyn was dashing through the crowd at an enviable speed, in his direction...

 

"Caught you!" He laughed as he snatched her wrist as she tried to run past.

 

And was nearly knocked over as her momentum dragged him six feet farther, bowling over countless Pennites in the process.

 

"WHOA! What got into you?" He asked.

 

"Koolaid. Yummy Koolaid!" She shouted at him. "Leggo!"

 

"Hun, this is a Wyvern party. Ayshela would skin me alive if I let you go running around alone in here."

 

"But... Aunty Ayshela said you were a thief." She looked at him suspiciously.

 

"I was. But it's fun, see? I've picked up a few tricks in here. I know a few of these men snuck in here without paying their fee, so how about we go collect something for Melba?" Jirah grinned at her.

 

"Oooh... But how?"

 

"Like this!" He pointed at Random_Male_Passerby_07, speaking just loudly enough for Kaitlyn to hear. "Watch now..."

 

He reached out, and smirked with satisfaction as a pair of warm black cotton boxers materialized in his hand.

 

"You don't spend months with this many wizards without learning something." He winked at her, stuffing his prize into a pouch as Random_Male_Passerby_07 suddenly blanched.

 

"Let's see who else looks suspicious, shall we?"

 

"Yeah! Can I have more Kool-aid?"

Edited June 1, 2004 by Alaeha

[Annael]

Seeing the lineup to get into the Conservatory, Annael sighs and decides to head outside. Quickly climbing a tree, she hops onto a window ledge, looks around for some guards and pops it open. Sitting down she peers down at the guests and smiles, brushing a butterfly out of her eye. Complete with dragons, frogs, pieces of a spaceship and koolaid, this was definetly one of Wyv's parties. Not able to see the host of the gathering, Annael waves a handful of butterflies in to make her greeting to Wyv. Swinging her legs and wiggling her bare toes, she tries to smother her giggles as she watches a very hyper Kaitlyn drag Jirah along as she rushes past him.

 

Ahhh, I'm finally home....it's been awhile but I'm glad to see that nothing's changed Annael says quietly. Her butterflies dance around her head in agreement.

[Quincunx]

Time passes. . .more time passes. . .good grief, quite a lot of time passes. . .

 

Tzimfemme broke the surface of the chocolate lake, gasping, "Much as I hate to admit it. . .I can't exist on chocolate alone. . .air. Air has to come into the equation somewhere. . ." She latched onto Orlan's leg and patted one hand on her chest, either choking or utterly fehrklempt. Orlan looked down at her in sexy, sexy incomprehension, then looked over at his pants. Stick had raced back to the pool, lifting double-handfuls of chocolate and pouring it into random suit pockets, panting, "must! save! the chocolate!!!!!!!" first very rapidly, then drawling out each word over a full minute.

 

Wench lay at poolside with a towel wrapped around her head, a white chocolate facial-mask, and Mr. Bunny sprawled out in her lap, getting scratched behind his ears. He lifted his right ear and remarked, ". . ."

 

"I don't think he is," Wench frowned, and sipped on a frozen Sucker Punch cocktail.

 

Mr. Bunny was proven right when a pod of orcas surfaced in the chocolate, balanced Orlan and Tzimfemme gently on their snouts, pushed them out at poolside, and began patrolling the perimeter of the pool. Tzimfemme dived back in and rode out again on a chocolate spray from a well-timed surfacing. She lunged at the chocolate again and was flipped back on shore by a tail fluke. Orlan turned up the charm and waded. . .I mean strutted out into the pool, where lovestruck female orcas swept him up between their fins and propelled him out to deep waters for a tete-a-tete. The naked mage was left staring out over the chocolate waters, thwarted by not knowing how to swim.

 

"Hell with this. I'm going to grab a glass of punch," she muttered, to save face.

 

*****

 

Princess sat on one end of buffet table #12, moodily slurping a giant turreen of live mutant pirahna gumbo. The young draconian's brothers and sisters all got cool dragon hoard names--Adamantite, Goldbullion, Magicfirestick--but she was the last in the family, and the squishy human was the only thing left. Plus all the auraks kept playing pranks on her, like door illusions in solid walls, and teleporting her to all sorts of random places which most of the time were just illusions anyway. A wyvern at the mercy of a group of trolls grunting "Wes not gets PAID enough for dis"?! Those aurak dorks didn't even try to fool her any more.

 

*****

 

Rydia admired WrenWind's glossy yet surprisingly active hairdo. Her curls were scurrying about and rearranging themselves constantly, spurred to hyperactivity by the thin coat of congealed Sucker Punch Xaious had used for a styling aid. Starlight's hair was perfect as always, with echoes of his doppelganger's DEP, despite being constantly flattened under his hood. Appy's hair towered higher than Rydia could reach and the bluebirds twittered at random, fluttering and shedding bright downfeathers which now flecked her hair with blue. Even Zool's toupee was friskier than usual, rippling left and right and, yes, even doing the macarena to the subsonic heavy-metal rhythms. She checked her reflection in the surface of a nearby shiny. . .OOOooOoooOOOooooo, shiiiiiiiiny. . .her hair was piled perfectly, but seemed so. . .lifeless by comparison. This wouldn't do! She disengaged herself distractedly from the dance and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom, rummaging in her purse and not paying much attention to the carousel in the way.

 

*****

 

Something pursued Elvish out of the Conservatory doors, seized him from behind, and dragged him back into the party with a single slimy-skinned arm. It cast a broad, 20-foot-tall, ichor-dribbling (Elvish flipped through his deck of cards with mounting urgency), heavily-breathing, greatsword-wielding (oh damn, it was a pinochle deck, he'd taken out the dispell cards), pink-sugar-shedding shadow. Also, the topmost bit of the shadow was poking him with a sticky, sugary pole.

 

"Elvish!" Minta squeaked. "Can do one of your Norrath spells pleaseplease! I wanna be grown into a GIANT GNOMIEZILLA! Me an' Double Frubble are gonna oooooooooooo whozat!" She swiveled around, catching sight of Kaitlyn. "YAY! Somebody new to play with!" Minta reached down, pried open the death slaad's mouth with the brawlstick, grabbed hold of its tongue, and started to rappel down its front. Double Frubble, in the meanwhile, peered over everyone's shoulders, dropped Elvish, then shuffled to gain speed and shifted into a thunderous hopping gait. Knight had been a dominion once, and Minta hadn't told the slaad to stop hunting dominion. . .

 

*****

 

One security ogre reached down to scratch his butt, forgetting about the frying pan underwear.

 

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK

 

The golden gosling panicked, leaped out of the wooden bowl (splattering borscht everywhere), and ran under Melba's polyester pant hems for protection. Melba just tut-tutted and kept on leafing through a photo album slightly older than the average elf, looking for a long-forgotten recipe from her circle, for a carrot cake large enough to last through an entire meeting. . .

 

*****

 

Savage Dragon lurched by Rosemary, seized her, planted a kiss on her cheek, then wandered off looking puzzled, with a small army of frogs hopping at his heels. She frowned--none dared usually to approach so close--but was then caught off-guard by Mira stumbling past, kissing her hand, looking relieved, and proceeding along with a slightly smaller army of frogs hopping at his heels. Aleyn stared at her, looking as baffled as she, then edged up to her, tossed a kiss at her, and didn't stay around to notice where it landed. Rosemary looked troubled; no good could come if everyone continued to seek their being consumed by her. The night wore on, and every frog seeker in the building mistook her beaded cloak and dress for princesses' gowns. A lack of mystery collected in the air around her, a black hole of drunken disappointment.

 

*****

 

"Allllllllwlwlwlright, you. Thingyperson. OFF! The stage," slurred Tzimfemme, leaning heavily on a microphone stand. Prince didn't even bother stopping his song to shoo her off. Tzimfemme was, however, nothing if not persistent. If she wanted the stage, she got the stage. If she wanted to steal someone's underwear, she stole someone's underwear. If someone vacated the stage because he was chasing his recently filched and flung underwear, and was trampled underneath a sea of stilettos and platform demi-boots whose owners fought over said underwear, that was simply economy of motion.

 

"And remember. It's not the having, that matters. It's the GETTING!" She'd never drank alcohol before, and hadn't really intended to start tonight. Ever since the DEP incident, water and chocolate were her only beverages. However, the Sucker Punch had been heavy with sugar, and Tzimfemme had gulped it trying to clear her throat of the scalding taste. Now she was getting overlapping vision of the Pen universe, Archmage Terra, Norrath, and a few other places. It was disconcerting, and she felt a warm sympathy for Rosemary, for all the seers who talked out of her mouth, wasn't it all the same mouth really? "Wasn't everyone really the same at heart? Why can't we all just get along?" She hugged the microphone tightly, marveling at the relevance of that booming voice. It was talking about what she had been thinking about--

 

Jirah reached into the flames under a chafing dish on table #6, dawn over Lavastorm, a hellhound kennel, a wildfire in eastern Washington (Tzimfemme squinted, and managed to resolve her sight to him reaching through an indoor flame), and extracted a fine, shimmering saffron silk. Tzimfemme drew herself up haughtily, stepped off the stage, fell six feet to the floor without apparent injury, and weaved her way over to him. "Excuse me," she stated. She collected herself a bit before reaching for the fabric and burying her face in it. "Merelas. Being worn at the time," she announced, then pushed the briefs back at Jirah. "Would you be a, a gentleman, and give those back, I want a turn." Tzimfemme grinned, then flexed and cracked her fingers.

[Xradion]

*In the distance, a horse's hooves are heard clambering over crags and cliffs, deftly maneuvering the rough terrain in vain. Hugging the stirrups are the legs of a shadowy cloaked figure, draped in mystery....

 

"Man, I wonder if this cloak of mystery that I'm draped in was worth the 500 gelder I had to pay for it, (hiccup)."

 

*...(Ahem) As I was saying, the steed rode furiously indeed, but failed to surmount that mount in the darkness of night, for it's sight was blind. And on that faithful steed's behind did a cloaked figure ride. The figure held...no geld, for his fate was spent. Sent on a journey, in vain, to reclaim his lost name from the netherlands of Terra on this, the Quincuinox of his existence. Persistence was the key and...

 

"Oh would you stop it with the bad alliteration and corny rhyme schemes already. Geez, I DEFINATELY shouldn't have hired that guy. I mean, what the hell was I thinking. I could have been out here with a couple 'o wenches, but instead I had to get drunk and blow my gelder on a cloak of mystery and this narrator dude. I bet he hasn't even read the previous posts. I bet he has no idea what in the name of Baldur is going on, and he's going to try to overdramatically introduce me in some ridiculous way when here I am, riding backwards on a half-dead horse that's about to collapse from exhaustion.

 

*Weren't you listening? I just did introduce you.

 

"Yeah, well I was just introduced to your mother last night, so there.

 

*What? That was terrible. It didn't even make sense.

 

"Yeah, well, about as much sense as you make, anyway. Man, I can't believe that I'm stuck out here, in the middle of nowhere on a half-dead horse with the crazy narrator dude....wait, I said that already, didn't I? Did I? Oh, yeah. No, REALLY. I'm not drunk. I’m just tired because I've been up all night drinking. Hehah!

 

*Really, sir. You should take that drink in moderation. Avoiding temptation will save the nation of your soul.

 

"Quiet, you. What the hell are you talking about anyway? Nation of my soul? You just used the word nation because it rhymes with moderation. Didn't you?! Come clean, man.

 

*Well, yeah...I guess I did.

 

"Look, what's your name anyway, buddy?"

 

*I am the mighty...Earl.

 

"The mighty Earl of what? And for that matter, how does an Earl wind up becoming a horrible narrator?"

 

*No, that's it. I am...Earl. That's my name.

 

"Oh. Listen, Earl. Why don't you do us both a big favor and have a nice, tall refreshing glass of shut-the-hell-up juice?

 

*Thanks, don't mind if I...hey, waaait a minute.

 

"Before the narrator had time to respond, Xradion had already rendered him unconscious with his blunt object (actually a giant blunt taken from his stoned-golem, OnWEED!). Oh, and by the way, I'm narrating this now. Yeah, that's right, I can switch between the third person and the first person if I want to. Besides, that guy was getting damned annoying. So anyway, there I was, all alone (seeing as my horse finally kicked the bucket and, well, I had just knocked that two-bit narrator unconscious). I had journeyed across the proverbial "the lands" to find the party hosted by my ol' buddy Wyvern...and the party was no-where to be found...or was it?"

 

"Much to my amazement, I climbed to the top of that mountain (well, it really was more like a hill...well, okay, fine, it was just a big bale of hay that the damn horse was too stupid or too blind to move around in the dark, okay? Happy now, punk?). Anyway, right behind the bushel-o-hay was the party and my good buddy Wyvern, howdyalikethat?"

 

"It kinda reminds me of a time when I was nine...I was in a pawn shop with my parents. We had been looking at old records for a while when all of a sudden...they disappeared without a trace. I wandered about the store for over half-an-hour looking for them before I realized, 'wait a minute; my parents would never abandon me! This is absurd. The only logical conclusion is that I am in fact dreaming.'"

 

"So, confident that I was dreaming, I decided that the most appropriate thing to do would be to kill myself in order to awaken from the dream. So, I stepped outside into the back parking lot and stabbed myself repeatedly with a knife that just happened to be lying there. Much to my surprise...(suspense)...my wounds all closed instantly, leaving only tiny scars. 'No, it isn't fair,' I cried, 'why can't I die?'"

 

"At this point in time, I realized that a change in strategy was in order. So what did I do? I simply hotwired a car, put a brick on the accelerator, and let it drive 2 feet into a brick wall. Once again, I remained completely unharmed."

 

"Flabbergasted, I decided that the only way to awaken from this dream would be to fall from a cliff. Unfortunately, there were no cliffs in sight, and I found myself completely unable to alter my surroundings. Try as I might, I could only materialize objects, not scenery."

 

"Well, folks. About this point in time I started to panic. I was a drone in my own dome; confined within my own mind, constrained by my own brain...anyway, you get the idea (see? Unlike that other narrator guy, I know when to stop with the corny rhymes). I simply had to escape. So what did I do? I broke down and cried like a baby, that's what."

 

"But thankfully, a kind old lady that looked kind of like the oracle from the matrix sat down next to me on the bench outside that pawn shop and sympathetically queried, 'What's the matter, honey?'

 

"'Okay,' I replied rather distraught, 'I know this is going to sound completely crazy, but I'm trapped inside my own dream. No no. You don't understand. See, you may THINK that you're sitting right there, on that bench, but you, the bench, even this projection of me are nothing more than vague creations of my own subconscious mind.'"

 

"'Well, that's pretty perceptive for a kid your age, sonny,' the old lady replied. 'But mind you, I believe ya. See, I'mma 'bout to get outta here myself. Why, the 11:00AM get-you-out-o-dreams special should be stoppin right at this here bench aaannnnyyy minute now. Yessiree.'"

 

"'Really?' I replied, somewhat incredulous. 'How's that work?'"

 

"'Well,' she answered, 'it's really quite simple. All you do is hop aboard, and the next thing you know, you'll be back in the realm of the waking.'"

 

"'Gee, thanks a lot.' And with that, our conversation ended. I figured I still had a half an hour to kill, so I went back inside the record store to see if they had an old Beatles album that had been stolen from my parents, curious to see if I could bring it back into the waking world with me."

 

"Well, as luck would have it, I completely forgot about that, because I dilly-dallied for entirely too long in the store and...I HAD MISSED THE BUS!!! 'Oh no,' I sobbed, 'I'm going to be trapped in this dream forever.'"

 

"But before I even had time to panic, I spotted that kindly old woman again. She asked me what was the matter and then realized that I had missed the bus."

 

"'Well,' she comforted me, 'when I miss the bus and want to wake up, I just stand with my arms outstretched and spin around reeeel fast like a propeller blade. That always seems to do the trick. Here, let me show you and the you can give it a try.'"

 

"With that, she stood just as she spun around just as she had described, twirling faster and faster, accumulating speed and momentum until she appeared as a tiny tornado and then...Poof! She was gone."

 

"'Well, I guess it's worth a shot,' I said aloud. With that, I mimicked her same gesture and...'Yes!' I exclaimed triumphantly. I had awakened. 'No!' I yelled in disgust, upon the realization that it was only 4:17AM and I had to get up for school in the morning."

 

"Well, I guess that wraps up my story. A good story too...and it happens to be true (though I never did pick up that Beatle's album. And ya know what, I forgot why the hell I went into this crazy tale anyway...well, see 'yall next time.

 

*With that, Xradion collapsed into a drunken stupor amidst dozens of party gatherers. Meanwhile, I regained consciousness just in time to be able to rap up this rambunctious rumble.

 

$Dude, it's not a rumble, and it's not rambunctious.

 

*Who are you?

 

$Dude, I'm that stoned golem, OnWEED! That X always keeps around with him. And I must highly suggest that you like, shut up or something, man, 'cause I got the munchies, and if you don't, man...you look pretty tasty right now.

 

*Well, just know that in the future, I won't stand for this kind of randomness. I mean really, all this needed to be a good story was some coherence and eloquence, but I guess that's a bit much to ask from two "dudes" like you.

 

$Dude, you're one to talk. Anyway, mellow out with me, man, and smoke this "blunt" object. It's a party man.

 

*I'm afraid I can't do that, for I am, "The Narrator," aka. The Mighty Earl. But until next time, this caped caper has been 'wrapped up,’ get it? Wrapped up? 'Cause, X was concealed, in his cloak, but now you know that it's him and so the mystery is gone and...wow...dude...that's some powerful stuff, man...alright....dude!!!!! Until next time (if there is a next time)...dun dun... done?

[Wyvern]

Wyvern stutters as he nervously eyes the circle of aggravated trolls now surrounding him, cursing at his inability to whistle at Ayshela's atypically provocative bodysuite attire given his current situation.

 

"We's not get PAID enough for dis, Wyvern!" growls a troll with a large bone protruding from his nose and several eyelid piercings. "All trolls know: two cow meal plus two geldy piece is about fah-... uuuurrrr... two doz-... urgh, not enough pay!"

 

"Ugh iz right." grumbles the leather-jacket sporting troll bouncer that had previously halted Celes Crusader and Knight amongst others. "Me works hard, has five trolls, one half-giant, and fourty eight mammoth to feed at home. Wants more pay!"

 

Wyvern rubs his scaly forehead as the leather-jacket troll bouncer attempts to demonstrate his point by counting on his fingers, only to stop in confusion upon extending four of them. The overgrown lizard's headache and painful Prince-groupie-trampled joints are suddenly accompanied by a feeling of endangered pride as he notices a cute Princess curiously eyeing his situation from Buffet Table #12. Clearing his throat of a few ashes, the lizard hisses:

 

"Now now fellas, you know I-"

 

"Furgurmurgur go BOOM in flames!" interrupts a troll with a tattoo of a pig on his forehead and a total of three teeth. "Grock see it with his own eyes... dragon come and make Furgurmurgur toast. Dangerous job, more pay!"

 

"Oh that..." mutters Wyvern in an irritated manner. "Well, that bouncer who got incinerated-"

 

"Furgurmurgur." interjects the troll.

 

"Yesssss." hisses Wyvern from between clenched teeth. "Furgurmurgur. Your friend's being burnt was not actually an accident. You see, uuuuhhhh... he had food poisoning and decided he wanted to be incinerated for his burial, that's all..."

 

The trolls stare at Wyvern in silence, caught in confusion somewhere between the logic of Wyvern's argument and the meaning of the word "incinerate."

 

"Look, I'll tell ya what..." continues Wyvern. "Since you all asked me so politely and formed this fine little circle around me, I'll give each of you a free ride on the Gwerry-Go-Round as extra pay."

 

"Me no like pretty little plant." exclaims Ugh. "Gwerry-Go-Round for sissies!"

 

"Yeahrrr!" exclaims another troll. "Wyvern a sissy!"

 

Wyvern clenches his scaly fists up upon hearing this accusation, casting a quick glance to the Princess of Buffet Table #12 before retorting.

 

"Now listen, I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a siss-"

 

At that moment, Annael's butterflies arrive at their destination, and greet Wyvern by landing on his snout and flying in beautiful patterns around his scaly form. The overgrown lizard's face goes blank as the trolls are overcome with accusational grins upon witnessing the spectacle.

 

"Wyvern a sissy!" shouts a troll, pointing at Wyvern and the butterflies. "Get'im!"

 

Wyvern stutters as he's lifted from his feet by two troll bouncers, and goes pale as one grabs him by the tail and uses it to hold him high in the air. The trolls walk over to Buffet Table #12 and stop at the mutant pirahna platter, directly in front of the draconian Princess slurping there, and hold Wyvern directly above the platter menacingly.

 

"Give pay, or you sleep with dah fishes!"

 

----

 

Elsewhere, at the guard outpost of the Conservatory's entrance...

 

"So you see..." mutters Jim the security guard to Gnarlitch while sipping on an ale and staring at the stars. "Naturally, I'm the one who takes the security shift for the door when Melba is out examining carrot statues and looking up recipes or whatever it is she does. I mean, who else can the Conservatory rely upon? Heck, even those dumb troll bouncers seem to be strangely absent at this hour."

 

"Mmmhmm." mutters Gnarlitch in response, only half-listening as he continues his vain search for any leftover frogs outdoors, his hands still tightly clutching his axe. Behind Jim, Stick races towards the chocolate mud wrestling arena in a frenzy, cleary set on stealing the chocolate one pocket at a time if necessary.

 

"Sometimes, I don't think people appreciate my skills as a security guard..." continues Jim, taking a long sip of his ale as he fails to notice Rydia headed in a collision course with the Gwerry-Go-Round as she races towards the bathroom. "I mean, I can monitor both outdoors and indoors perfectly fine by myself, I always see to it that everything runs smoothly."

 

"Yup." mumbles Gnarlitch as he sets himself on all fours and searchs under peoples legs for any frogs. Behind Gnarlitch, onWEED the stoned-golem, a remnant of Xradion's fantasy, hobbles in through the front entrance without paying a fee, proudly showing off its illegal and potentially dangerous components as it does so.

 

"The stars certainly do look bright this evening, don't they?" mutters Jim, raising a brow as he notices that a small sliver of the moon is lit in a slighty dimmer hue then usual and ignoring Kaitlyn's cries as she cuts herself on Xaious' knives. "Makes an expert security guard like myself wonder... that equinox thing should be quite a spectacle. Not too far off either is it?"

 

"Yah..." grumbles Gnarlitch, successfully completing a dirt sculpture of a frog and whacking it with his axe. "Hopefully, it'll attract some more frogs or something."

[Sorciere]

Sorciere awoke from her slumber a little dazed. Napping in the afternoon, while enjoyable, did leave you slightly 'lost' for a while when you woke up. It was dark now, must of really needed that snooze.

 

Just as she strolled over to her dressing table to fix her hair a strange, 'there's something I am supposed to be doing' feeling swept over her and she glanced at her mirror. The mirror was covered in flyers and then realisation set in.

 

"The Party!!" Sorciere briefly skimmed the flyer for details and threw on her best purple gown, hair was going to be tousled, it was that way already and she had no time to do anything about it. As thoughts of hacking cats and underwear raced through her mind she set off in haste to the party.

 

As she ran along the corridors she conjured little spells to help her with the entrance fee. Arriving at the line of people, relief set in that there was still a queue. At least she would not have to make a dramatic entrance.

 

Dodging bits of spaceship and and negotiating a huge carrot statue, Sorciere arrived at Melba.

 

"One hacking cat in underwear!" excalimed Sorciere and threw the poor kitten, trying in vain to cough up a furball, at Melba before racing past her into the party. Melba looked in bewilderment at the poor creature, struggling with it's predicament wearing a pink thong and turned to see Sorciere disappearing in the crowd.

 

"Shall I go after her and get the proper entrance fee boss?" asked one of the trolls.

 

" No, don't waste your time. By the time you explained what she did and she actually got it, the party will be over." Melba sighed and returned to the business at hand.

 

Entering the large room and seeing the carnage and chaos that was ensuing, Sorciere suddenly remembered she didn't DO parties, at least not sober. Grabbing an empty bottle she headed for the sucker punch, trying to avoid everyone's eyeline. Holding the bottle in the noxious liquid until sufficiently full she gazed around for a retreat.

 

"Ah, peace awaits me 'til I can get this inside me!" she grinned and headed up the stairs to the roof.

Edited June 8, 2004 by Sorciere

[Inspector I. M Clueless]

Inspector I. M Clueless sighs as the enormous party line moves forward at a snail's pace, raising his head as he notices Melba arrive back at the Conservatory entrance for a short moment in order to inspect Sorciere's entry fee. As the obese Almost Secretary of Initiates heads back to make a few final carrot-statue observations and add a pinch of salt, the Inspector observes that he's once again managed to almost reach the entrance of the party after countless hours of waiting. Smiling to himself and whistling to the tune of "Inspector Gadget," I. M Clueless barely manages to contain his excitement as he dreams of the numerous activities and foods to be found within the party. His fantasy is interrupted, however, as he turns his gaze towards two very suspicious-looking individuals, who seem to be chatting and taking notes while observing the remains of Knight's spacecraft.

 

"Hmmm, fascinating Daliarus, simply fascinating. I don't think I've ever seen a comet made out of such a... mysterious metallic substance."

 

"Yeah, agreed Vert. But then again, I dunno if we'd be the most knowledgable in the field of comet components, given the number of comets we've analyzed in the past."

 

"Well, at least we managed to trace this thing down and observe it. Master Calzoo won't be using our hides as telescope cleaning rags, thanks to me. Am I the brains of this operation, or what?"

 

"Yeah... say though, Verteniun, why does the moon look so odd this evening?"

 

"Elementary, my dear Daliarus. Tonight is the night of the vernal equinox lunar eclipse, which will be occuring in a few..."

 

There is a long moment of silence in which the two astronomers pause.

 

"... hours."

 

"Hours?! B-b-but, how are we going to be able to get back to the observatory in time to witness it?!"

 

"Dear God... I hadn't thought of that!"

 

"Great Vert, just great! Now we're even more doomed!"

 

"N-n-now wait just a minute Dali, don't panic. There must be some logical solution to this problem."

 

The two astronomers stand in nervous contemplation for a moment, then simultaneously turn their eyes to the Pen's Conservatory, suddenly noticing the stargazing roof that's available at the party. At that very moment, Inspector I. M Clueless speaks up from his position in line.

 

"Excuse me... did you two just say that that "comet" you observed was made out of a mysterious material?"

 

"Y-yes" answers Verteniun. "Why so we did."

 

"The name's Clueless, I. M Clueless. Inspector, Clueless, I. M that is. Not that I. M Clueless, but that I'm an Inspector, and that my name is I.M... errr... Clueless, sorry."

 

Verteniun and Daliarus turn to one another for a moment and grin.

 

"Would you mind if I observe that "comet" thing for a moment? I'm a man of mystery, so I enjoy mysterious thi-"

 

Inspector I. M Clueless is interrupted as Verteniun and Daliarus pratically shove him out of the line, stealing his position near the entrance of the party and exclaiming:

 

"Certainly! Take your time in observing it, plenty of mystery to be found there!"

 

Inspector I. M Clueless smiles to the two astronomers and then heads over to the site that they were observing, thankful for their kind-heartedness. It takes the Inspector a full twenty minutes to realize that the "comet" is in fact the remains of the spacecraft that he had seen Knight crash, and that his position in line had been stolen yet again.

 

"Oh brother..." mumbles Inspector I. M Clueless glumly as he commences another long trek to the very end of the enormous line.

[Ayshela]

Ayshela stood by the refreshments table trying to figure which was the least noxious of the drinks available, when she heard a heartrending wail of pain and felt a jolt to her stomach.. Kaitlyn! Curse that Xaious! Clasping her bracelet to find Kaitlyn instantly, she turned that direction - and then was pulled another direction entirely? Curious. Xaious must have been up to something again.

 

Following the tug of the bracelet she came up to Kaitlyn and Xaious over by the Gwerry-go-round. Pulling Kaitlyn loose, she checked her hand and noticed with relief that it had healed, with a trace of Peredhil's particular brand of comfort and healing about it. Murmuring a heartfelt "thank you", knowing he would hear and understand, she turned her full attention back to Kaitlyn and what to do with, and about, her. Thinking quickly, she said "Tell you what, Kaitlyn. I need to talk to Xaious, so for the next few minutes, will you see if you can find a chocolate ivy, for me?" She watched Kaitlyn scamper off, then turned toward Xaious.

 

There must have been a hint of flames in her normally gold-flecked olive eyes, because Xaious's eyes widened and he took one involuntary step backwards as she turned the full force of her glare on him. He stuttered for a moment "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - I forgot they were there!"

 

Ayshela simply looked at him for a moment. She took one step closer, looked up at him, and said slowly and clearly in tones of sheerest ice, "You are fortunate there was no lasting harm done. Had you hurt her i'd have been forced to kill you, and scattering your component atoms from here to the edge of eternity would be a nuisance in the middle of a party. If she *ever* comes to harm at your hands, intentionally or through negligence, you won't live long enough for the bleeding to stop."

 

Feeling flames growing around her, Ayshela took a deep breath and turned away to see what Kaitlyn had gotten into now. Seeing her with Jirah she stopped and watched closely.. she didn't want to keep Kaitlyn from getting to know these people, but this wasn't exactly optimal circumstances. Sighing deeply and balancing priorities, she decided to just watch for right now.

 

Scanning the crowd she was pleasantly surprised to see Wrenwind's beautifully curled and very active hairstyle shifting from one arrangement to another yet always looking stylish and flattering. Seeing a butterfly land on a curl she looked around for Annael, and waved a glad greeting to her.

 

Turning back she saw Minta scramble down and head toward Kaitlyn and Jirah while Rydia strode intently toward the restroom.

 

She heard a very commonplace sort of commotion over behind her, and turned in time to see the troll bouncers surrounding Wyvern and threatening him. She might have been a bit concerned were it not such a commonplace event, though she did wonder a bit when he was being dangled over the mutant pirhana platter. Murmuring to herself she threw a snare at the pirhana so that if the worst happened Wyvern would have a chance to get away.

 

A tousled-haired Sorciere appeared, and as Ayshela was just deciding to go talk with her, she noticed Tzimfemme discussing the latest underwear acquisition with Jirah. Now *this* should be fun! Ayshela giggled quietly and settled back to watch.

[Melba]

Melba nods to herself happily as she finally finishes recording the exact measurements of the huge dragon carrot sculpture, her chubby right thumb holding a spot in a large tome labeled "101 Ways to Cook Almost Dragons." Sliding the book open to the page she holds her finger at and briefly glancing over the recipe to "Almost Dragon Spicey Carrot Cake," Melba sighs to herself as her sense of responsibility kicks in.

 

Oy Gavaltz mutters Melba's conscious as she makes her way back to the front door of the Conservatory That knuckleheaded boychick Jim probably can't tell an entrance fee from his own ego, and that hacking cat of Sorciere's has probably gotten hairballs all over the boxer short pile. Time to hurry.

 

Melba arrives at the front entrance and shoves Jim to the side just as he begins bragging to Gnarlitch about his excellent steadfastness. Scowling upon noticing that Jim has let a few people in line sneak in without paying the fee, Melba immediately confronts those who are now standing at the front of the line, which happen to be Verteniun and Daliarus.

 

"Special boxer shorts, please." growls Melba, extending a hand and glancing at the two assistant astronomers angrily.

 

Vertenin and Daliarus cast a quick glance towards one another and frown. Then, Daliarus quickly snaps a finger and digs through the backpack he carries, only to whip out what appear to be two video cassette tapes.

 

"I hope these'll do." mutters Daliarus as he hands the tapes to Melba. "They contain a collection of boxer shorts that I fondly call 'Muhammed Ali vs. Everybody.' Never thought I'd part with these, but I guess that one's health always comes first."

 

Verteniun quickly nods and enters into the party, dragging Daliarus in by the arm with him as Melba stares at the two cassette tapes in confusion.

Edited June 14, 2004 by Melba

[Boaz]

“Well you see, Troutsers™ are the rage already in Franconia, and I hear drunken party goers in Germanius can’t keep their legs out of them. So Gyrfalcon, what do you say? I want you to be the official spokesman for Troutsers™ brand underwear. You’re the first person I thought of, right off. You’re on the ground floor of a great happening in Mage History, and I will give you 10% royalties?”

Gyrfalcon can barely keep his gourge down as Boaz waves a pair of smiley face Troutsers™ in his face. “Um sorry, old friend, but I already..um..already… umm HAVE AN..er.. have an exclusive deal with Joat. Yup, my image can’t be used for anything other than products dealing with the next Movie.. yeah..”

 

“Drats!.. well. Good luck with that.” *crap.. that is the 10 mage to turn it down..can’t these fools smell gold when they are presented with it* Boaz rubs his nose with the Troutser™ and notices Wyvern being extorted… *hmm.. can’t let those trolls extort where a true professional can step in*

 

The two trolls’ eyes go wide as Boaz steps between them, extends both hands out to his sides, and sends a few thousand volts through each of them. Wyvern makes a sound that the more discerning among the crowd would say sounded like a High C performed by one of the chipmunks(Alvin Simon or Theodore).… on crack, as his is dropped. Lucky for him, the shaking caused by the electricity means that he was dropped to the side of the platter, banging first his head on the edge of the table, then landing on his tail as he rolls off said table.

 

Boaz steps forward to help Wyvern get up before the trolls can react. “So, Wyvern! I have been looking all over for you! Here is the money I owe you!”

A small bag of gold is exchanged, Wyvern can’t help but shake it quickly.. *hmm..500gold* “I really didn’t think you could do it wyvern.. killing a Red dragon on your own, I was surprised when you took out the hydra.. but the dragon really blew my mind.”

 

Wyvern notices the trolls go white around the eyes, and can’t help but smile as they apologize and tell him they have decided that their current pay is good enough. He turns back to Boaz as they slink off, “So, thanks for saving me. I assume you want this money back?”

 

“No, No. Keep it. It is your first installment. Don’t look so confused, I just saved your bacon..and you just became spokesman for Troutsers™ for life.. or until you kill yourself, which ever is longer. Now, I envision your likeness, oiled down and standing on a dead dragon. You’ll be wearing nothing but a grin and of course a pair of the product. We will put it on every flat surface larger than 10ft x 10ft.. you will be the most recognized face out there. And if these sell like I expect, you also have first shot at endorsing the official Tarter sause and trout flavored mouthwash.”

 

Noticing the sick look that crosses Wyverns face Boaz explains, “Well, waste not- want not. I had to do SOMETHING with the byproduct. Oh and your pay will be 5% of the profit and lifetime supply of Troutsers™ of course!

 

Wyvern looks longingly over his shoulder at the trolls and fishplate.. maybe his situation wasn’t as bad as he though before?

[Xaious, Master of Time]

".....Eep!"

After getting chewed out by Ayshela, Xaious...he..well, he really felt the need to sit. A good sit was needed indeed. Lest he pass out, weakened from fright.

Even Great Cthulhu would be scared by the angered Ayshela, and -naturally- Xaious had to be.

So, when she turned on to her next task, Xaious turned around and -as quickly as he could walk, without getting sick- made his way for the restrooms.

Of course, this also meant that he had to make his way through almost the entirety of the party-goers, up a few flights of stairs, and remember to watch where he stepped. Easy tasks, if you can stop everything in it's tracks, right?

Too bad he was too weakened to do that.

All he managed was one sluggish step towards the pirhana platter. Then, that's when everything went from bad to worse.

Bad to worse, as in from getting exhausted to projectile vomiting on the host of the party. Or rather, the poor hapless sould trying to pedal his wares around the host.

Boy, nothing upsets the stomach quite like being fussed at -and then threatened- by a friend...except knowing that you deserved it.

But hey, now he had the opportunity to help Wyvern -if through some miusfortune, eh? And besides, that pedaler of cheap wares, why, he was infringing upon the old lizard's own territory! (And doing a better job, too!) For the invite, it was the least he could do.

"Oops...Sorry Boaz...You Okay? Wyvern?" Xaious inquired, wiping his mouth with a Troutser.

"...." Boaz looked at the Time Master with a very unhappy look, yet mixed with a perceivable grin. "No problem."

"So, how much you want for this...thing?" Xaious asked, wiping his mouth a bit more with the now-stained Troutsers.

"Oh, I'll take...Better yet, I'll give you a percentage of the profits. Yes, a percentage. Does five percent sound good to you?"

Xaious made to look like he was pondering it, and Wyvern watched Xaious -quite aware that he was thinking up something lucrative, on his behalf.

"Sure, I'll take it." Xaious said, and smiled. "But one condition, eh?"

"Um. Ok, sure." Boazfelt a deep, horrid sinking feeling in his throat, and Wyvern'smoney pouch jiggled with excitement -some other poor sap was getting him out of this, and at no expense to him! It was truly a happy moment for Wyvern indeed.

"So, what's this condition?" Asked the over-grown lizard.

"Oh, nothing much. Just that I want this to be a legal-binding written and signed document, with each of us having a few copies, for protection." Xaious grinned: this worked almost every time.

"Sure." Boaz smiled: he liked the sound of this.

"...." Wyvern prepared himself for some of the worst kinds of legal loopholes ever in the history of...history. He just didn't know whether to prepare for good ones or bad ones.

And Xaious held onto that grin -and the Troutser ever ready in his hand- feeeling his strength return.

[Wyvern]

"So, umm... let me get this straight, Xaious. If I sign these three documents, it implies that I, Wyvern, have stock in the bonds of the partnership of Boaious Troutser Brand Tartar Mouth Wash for an initial period of seven months?"

 

"Just about!" exclaims Xaious cheerfully.

 

Wyvern fidgets nervously and frowns.

 

"I-"

 

"You'll also have to sign these seven documents." interrupts Xaious. "They pretty much imply that, in a situation where Boaious Troutsers reach dirty waters and lose financial capital, the second revenue of the third month of the fourth year of the seventh vernal equinox lunar eclipse will be Waious sponsored, where Waious is an emergency side branch of the initial Boaious branch, thereby limiting the quantity of supply and increasing demand."

 

"J-just let me know" cries Boaz in the background. "Who, exactly, is giving who five percent?!!"

 

"You'll also need to sign this." says a random Prince overhearing the conversation, handing Wyvern a document detailing how he'll have to pay expenses for his beachhouse resort.

 

"And this." mutters a familiar-looking troglyodyte, handing Wyvern a legal document detailing how he'll have to pay the medical bills for the troglyodyte's indegestion, which was caused the "Blitz Burger" Wyv had previously given him.

 

"And dis." snorts a troll weakly from his electrocuted position on the ground, raising a fist containing a legal document detailing how Wyvern is a wussy.

 

"And don't forget these." says Xaious, turning to the spot that Wyvern had previously been with a stack of about two hundred and seventy sheets of paper. The Master of Time raises a brow as he notices that the overgrown lizard seems to have fled, leaving a very visible trail of legal documents behind him.

 

"Hey!" exclaims Boaz angrily, pointing a finger towards Wyvern as the lizard races to the dancefloor as a means of escape. "You still owe me for that rescue job!"

 

---

 

Meanwhile, onWEED the Stoned Golem lumbers through the crowds and eventually reaches his natural resting spot: buffet table #4. Sniffing at the variety of stone delicacies available at the table and grinning broadly, the smelly golem turns to Tempest, who happens to be nearby, and guffaws:

 

"Whoa-ho-ho-ho duuude, come try this basilisk souflee. It is most gnarly man."

 

---

 

Elsewhere, near a quiet and shady corner of the Conservatory bar, Verteniun and Daliarus take turns casting careful glances towards the darkly cloaked form of Yui Temae, thoughtfully whispering to one another.

 

"C'mon Dal... we need to ask someone for directions, and good luck finding any answers in that mess."

 

Verteniun tilts his head to the more active and chaotic regions of the party upon saying this, and Daliarus frowns in understanding.

 

"B-b-b-but, you know how I am with approaching mysterious women, Vert. I'll probably stumble and forget what I'm trying to say."

 

"Listen Daliarus." says Verteniun firmly. "We need to ask for directions to the stargazing rooftops of this party, and I need to stand guard here to make sure we don't look too suspicious in the crowds. That leaves you to ask that lady for directions. After all that we've been through, I'm counting on you."

 

Daliarus rolls his eyes and sighs, glumly nodding as he lifts himself from his seat and makes his way towards Yui's spot at the bar. Stopping in front of Yui and nervously clearing his throat, Daliarus fumbles for a crumpled party flier in his coat. Quickly taking the flier out and pointing at its section about stargazing and eclipses, the assistant astronomer stammers:

 

"S'cuse me ma'am... err, that is uh, I mean lady. No, no I mean ma'am, sorry. Ummm, we - I mean I - am searching... uhhh... looking... urrr, wanna dance?"

 

Verteniun grits his teeth and slaps his forehead upon hearing Daliarus' slip-up.

[Salinye]

Salinye walks with her haiku clutched within her hand. The closer she got to the Conservatory, the more odd the sights and sounds grew. Having been at Pen Castle for over a year now, you would think she would expect unparalleled chaos at any function. However, being the socialite she is, upon hearing the word “party” she can’t help but hope for the best.

 

Stepping over rubble comprised of charred and twisted metal, (who knew what that was from) she began thinking that her white spaghetti strap dress might not have been the best choice. Approaching the two troll guards she subconsciously fiddled with the pearl necklace about her neck.

 

“Entrance Fee,” one of them grumbled at her. She was a late arrival and these trolls seemed tired of their job and on edge. Deciding against any kind of small talk, she simply handed over the haiku she wrote for Tzimfemme.

 

Born a kitten.

Life full of catnip and naps

Death after nine lives

 

The trolls stepped aside allowing her entrance into the bright room filled with people. She hadn’t noticed the music before, however, her eyes were immediately drawn to a flaming mosh pit. I wonder who’s responsible for that. Scanning the room for familiar faces; she was quite taken off guard when something slammed into her face knocking her backwards, onto the ground. “MMmmphhhh!”

 

Reaching up she grabbed whatever was stuck to her face and pulled at it. She finally got it free from herself with a loud suctioned Thhhwwwwaaaaack Opening her eyes she was shocked to find herself holding a rather large bullfrog. “A Frog!”

 

If she wasn’t shocked enough by the fact that upon entering the party, she was immediately assaulted by a frog, it warping into a prince in her lap did the trick. “What the…” was all she could stammer.

 

“Thanks Doll.” The handsome prince said removing himself from her lap and offering a hand to help her up. “Somehow the spell missed me, so I had to take matters into my own hands.”

 

“…..by attacking me?” She said gathering her wits back together.

 

“No, baby, by kissing a princess.”

 

Salinye raised an eyebrow. “That was supposed to be a kiss?” She frowned. “…And how did you know I’m a princess?”

 

“Just took a guess, besides, that white flower in your hair reminded me of my lily pad. Anywho, look…I don’t like messy break ups, so I’ll just cut to the chase. We had a few laughs, shared a kiss. I know back in the day when prince frogs were rescued, they were obligated to marry the girl who set them free, but I’m not really the settling down kinda man. You’re a sweet girl and all, really appreciate you helping me with that whole spell thing, but I’m a WILD man, Baby. I must go mingle with all the honeys at this party.”

 

With that the handsome prince reached down, smacked her on the butt and headed into the crowd, obviously on the prowl. Salinye was left standing, just inside the door having been kissed by a frog, engaged and dumped all in the first 2 minutes of arriving. This really is going to be SOME party.

Edited June 28, 2004 by Salinye

[Yui-chan]

Yui blinked at the tongue-tied stranger, glancing up from her abortive conversation with the bartender. (He'd really been just nodding a lot and not really listening, his attention fixed on the Princess that was reclining along the greater length of his bar. Apparently, the man hadn't seen many beached mermaids in his lifetime.) She'd been doing her best to entertain herself ever since Aegon had gotten stuck in a conversation with Ozymandias about the 'good old days' on Terra. Men could be so droll.

 

Hence, when a rather discomfitted Daliarus accidentally asked the mysterious and quiet little lady to dance, she decided that she may as well agree. With a friendly smile, she offered her hand to the scholar. "Why, thank you. I would be delighted as long as you don't mind avoiding the flaming mosh pit."

 

Poor Daliarus' stuttering increased tenfold in the moment that his hand touched hers, and whatever he might have intended to say was reduced to "Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma..."

 

When it became clear that he wasn't capable of anything more, Yui took the initiative to add in a comforting tone, "My name is Yui-chan. I don't believe we've met...?"

[Xaious, Master of Time]

"..." Xaious triumphantly stated as Wyvern ran away, legal documents flying in the breeze.

Now, as any business man cn tell you, this is not good. Quite not good.

Just as well, any sane, normal business man would just declare it the time of day to just say "Screw it", and go on their merry money-making way, but since when is Xaious normal?

"WAIT UP! You forgot to sign on the dotted lines and place your signature in the margins!" He ran after Wyver shouting.

And apparently, in doing so, ran in front of Cioden shouting, so, in turn, Cioden threw a lightning bolt at him.

Grant it, our 'intrepid hero person dude' can't suffer the pain of death, otherwise there would be some major plot-hole to fill, so he ducks this lightning bolt. Good thing too; had he not, his hair would've been fried. Of course, this meant that something else would get hit.

....

A large cloud of butterflies decended upon Xaious, proceeded by a shower of black feathers, and a person landing right smack-dab on top of him.

 

"Owch" Xaious rubbed his eyes, unsure if he should be seeing butterflies and black feathers in the same place.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome...who is that, anyway?"

"Me? I'm Annael."

"Umm....Ok then. Hello Annael."

"Hiya. And who are you?"

"Me? Just you're friendly neighborhood falling person catcher."

"Really?"

"Umm..Not."

"No?"

"No. I'm Xaious."

"Oh. Well hello Xaious. How do you do?"

"Oh, pretty good, considering I just had someone land on me."

"Oooooooooohhhh. I think I'll get off now...."

"Oh thank you!"

Annael gets off of the flattened master of time, and offers a helping hand. It's only right that if you flatten someone, you help them up.

"Thank you." He spoke, dusting himself off, removing the occasional feather from his hair.

"No problem."

"So, come here often?"

"Huh? Oh, I used to be here everyday...then I kinda faded."

"...." Xaious thought a bit. "Ok. So, ..DUCK!"

Xaious yanked Annael to the ground, just barely ducking another of Cioden's bolts, much to the dismay of a certain Almost Dragon, who had been hiding behind Annael, hoping that Xaious wouldn't notice.

"AHHHHH!" The elder screamed when the bolt smaked him, burning him slightly. After that, he ran to the chocolate pool and dove in, to nurse his pain.

"..." Xaious said.

"..." Annael agreed.

"So, care to cause mischief and confusion?" He queried.

"Sure! Whatcha got in mind?" Annael queried back at him.

"Um..." Xaious stopped to think, and Annael looked at him curiously, hre butterflies landing on her and him, wings all flapping in unison. "I know!" He exclaimed, and everyone nearby looked at him.

"..." Annael sighed. "Nothing to see, folks."

Everyone laughed -at varying degrees of laughter-, then turned back to their previous occupying actions.

"Ok then, what?" Annael asked softly, not wanting to be the center of attention so soon again.

"You'll see...." Xaious grinned, and then whispered in Annael's ear. When she heard what he proposed, she smiled like never before. Well, like she hadn't smiled since the day began. And all they needed was for Wyvern to get out of the chocolate pool. Which, inevitabely, he did, being as he can't breathe chocolate. And when he did....

Annael's butterflies flew over to Wyvern, and landed on him, taking the form of a mini skirt, a spaghetti strap shirt, a tiara, and some really girlish and wimpy looking leg warmers.

"Oh crap." Muttered Wyvern, as everyone turned to look at him.

Xaious and Annael laughed hysterically at this.

"So, shall we dance now?" He asked her, being as he hadn't done much of that all night.

Annael smiled. "Gladly." She answered, and he took her up into an incredulous flury of twirls, spins, and near spills.

And they danced.

[Wyvern]

Wyvern hisses curses under his breath as he tries to remove the chocolate that now covers him from head to toe, and lets out a dismal sigh as he notices the butterfly garmets that now adorn his form. Slumping in the hopes of avoiding the laughter that now surrounds him, the overgrown lizard decides that the situation simply can't get any worse... and is promptly proven wrong.

 

"Hey baby." comes a smooth masculine voice from behind Wyvern. "What's your flavor?"

 

Wyvern turns his chocolate-covered head in horror only to be met by the visage of the suave Prince that had previously kissed Salinye.

 

"I like the whole chocolate and butterfly approach, it's kinky" says the Prince, clutching the horrified Wyvern in his arms and holding him closely. "Kinky and WILD, and I like wild."

 

"W-w-w-wait" stammers Wyvern "Y-you're making a terrible mistake!"

 

"Nonsense". says the Prince, pulling Wyvern closer still. "You're the one who's mistaken, baby. Why did you cover your pretty little face with chocolate? Here, let me clean it for you."

 

With that, the Prince takes out a hankerchief that hosts an entire collection of different lipstick markings, catagorized by woman's name and color, and uses the clean part of it to clear off part of Wyvern's face. Upon noticing the overgrown lizard's scaly male visage, the Prince immediatly goes pale and starts croaking like a frog, swiftly letting the reptilian Elder go and retreating to the comforting-looking solace of Sorciere. The butterflies fly off of Wyvern's form in the process, though the chocolate-coating still remains. Sighing to himself, the overgrown lizard slowly turns to the buffet tables and starts to hobble towards them, deciding that he'd need a shot or two of sucker punch if he wanted to pretend to maintain his dignity for the remainder of the party.

 

-----

 

"ma-ma-ma-ma-"

 

Verteniun slaps his forehead once again and clenches his teeth as Daliarus heads out to the dancefloor with Yui-chan, watching as he stutters every step of the way. What had the buffoon gotten himself into this time?! The vernal equinox lunar eclipse was rapidly approaching, and there simply wasn't any time for this...

 

"Crap." grumbles Verteniun, lifting himself from his seat and brushing off his tunic before quickly tying the laces of his shoes up extra tight. The only option that remained was to follow them to the dancefloor...

 

"ma-ma-ma-ma" repeats Daliarus as he arrives at the dancefloor with Yui-chan "ma-my name, err, title... I mean... err, Dullyarus."

 

"Dull Yarus?" repeats Yui quizzically as a relatively slow number by the Draconettes cues up in the background.

 

"Y-y-yeah, I mean no, I mean I gotta go but I want to dance! Yes, lets dance. Definitely. Ummm, do you happen to know how to dance?"

 

Daliarus glances at Yui sheepishly as Verteniun swiftly makes his way to dancefloor, hoping to intervene before the dance starts but cursing at his lack of choreography as he gets caught somewhere between a fawn and a high-elf girl with glow-in-the-dark earings.

 

----

 

Elsewhere, far away from the Pen's Conservatory, in an elegent yet dimly lit office...

 

"Don Ikeelayunow." pleads a man standing next to an office desk. "Please, forgive my intrusion at this late and uncivilized hour of the evening."

 

"Fuggedaboutit." mumbles a mouth filled with spaghetti from the other end of the desk, which is completely shaded in darkness. "I don'ts got all evening, so speak."

 

"I ask of you a favour, O great Don Ikeelayunow." continues the man, kneeling down and kissing the Don's spaghetti covered pinky ring. "I have always served you and have always spoke the name of the Ikeelayunow family with the highest regard. Now, I have a vendetta that needs to be settled."

 

"Don Ikeelayunow circles his hand in the air a few times from his shaded position. "Please, continue."

 

"My youngest son, Little Jimmy Bashawitzstien, had his bar mitzvah recently..."

 

The man produces a photo of Little Jimmy as Don Ikeelayunow nods silently from his position.

 

"... the entertainer, a famous celebrity by the name of Orlan, was supposed to show up and play the part of Lord of All, King of Destruction, and Master of Malice. He never showed up, and as a result the Bashawitzstien name has been disgraced. "

 

The man clenches his fist.

 

"I'd like to see him pay."

 

"I'll see what I can do." mumbles Don Ikeelayunow. "Wacking him is outta the question, since he's a famous celeb... but we can try to humiliate him for you, in order to reclaim the Bashawitzstien honor."

 

"Oh thank you Don Ikeelayunow!" cries the man happily, kissing the Don's pinky ring over and over again. "Thank you so much!"

 

"Yeah yeah..." mutters Ikeelayunow, picking up a phone from the shady position at his desk. "Now geddouttahere, ya bum. Hey, hey Larry? Yeah, this is the Don... listen, we gots some humiliatin that needs to get done..."

[Tasslehoff]

So after another hard day of wandering around the halls of the pen, doing what he does best; which of course is collecting random things people dropped, Tasslehoff was about his open the door to his sancuary, but happened to knowtice a bunch of papers plastered on the upper parts of his door.

 

Well who would and go, put something for me to read, infact a bunch of something for me to read, and put them so high

 

Muttering a few other words while Tas tried to figure out what was going on. Luckily enough, Wren happened to just walk by his door.

 

Excuse me! Wrenny! Yes down here! Oh thank you, could you please tell what someone wanted me to know?

 

Wren looked down at the kender with a look of confusion at the kender.

 

What was that again

 

Pointing at the the papers, Tasslehoff starts to explain about Uncle Trapsinger, when Wren kindly reminds him to stay on topic. Finally about 25 minutes later, Tasslehoff finished both his story, and what he was trying to explain.

 

...and thats why I cant read what I need to know

 

Chuckling quite a bit, and finally understanding Wren elaborates that Wyvern is having a big party and that he needs to bring a gift, a pair of Un-Ordinary Underwear

 

Thanks Wren. Your the best, and nice hair! Hopefully it doesnt get messed up or anything!

 

With that being said Tasslehoff opened his door, and ran in, trying to find a pair of underwear and then to be on his way. Chuckling once more Wren continues on to the party.

 

----

 

About 2 hours later, Tasslehoff finally emerges from his room and starts skipping down the hall and out to the party. Seeing the long line the kender decides he best not wait for he best not want to be late. Raistlin always said being later wasnt being good. Forgeting that there was an *entrance fee* Tasslehoff almsot slipped by Melba, well because he was small and see was busy with Carrots and Cakes.

 

Nice Try Little One! Wheres the fee grumbled Melba, already was to tired and to annoyed anymore to care

 

Oh yes! The fee almost forget! Well here are a pair of boxers exclaims Tasslehoffs as he tries to continue on in.

 

What makes these so un-ordinary. They dont even look like they fit you! Grumbled Melba.

 

Stopping shortly Tas says Well, ofcourse they dont, I just found,them, and thats why they are un-ordinary for me, cause they arent mine Glaring up at Melba for just a moment long the kender ran off into the party to see who he could meet.

 

Melba, not wanting to try and catch the little one, realizing, that infact it was Tasslehoff, the notorious kender, she continued reading until she heard a faint cry that sounded something like:

 

 

...Has anyone seen my boxers! They were stolen right off me! Anyone?..

[Wyvern]

Wyvern sat by the two passed out half-giants being used as a make-shift Buffet Table #2, chocolate-crusted and giddy, his snout hovering over a watered down cup of Sucker Punch and his forked tongue hanging loose. The reptilian Elder glanced at the faint bubbling in the liquid and hesitated for a moment, then shrugged and downed another shot, cringing at the memory of the seducer Prince's smooth tone of voice. The party span before the lizard, the sounds of "Love Rocket" spiraling in the background with an uproar of delighted cheers, the hands of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room upside down and crooked.

 

"My boxers? Anyone? Anyone?! W-Wyvern!"

 

Wyvern stared dizzily as one of the troglyodyte Blitz Ball enthusiasts ran up him, his hands in a secure grasp over the waistline of his sewage-coated pants.

 

"Mr. Wyvern, have you seen my boxers by any chance?" The reptilian midget tried to cast Wyvern a puppy-dog eye glance, but failed to make his tiny black beads look appealing.

 

Wyvern shook his head, raising a claw to his forehead as his focus remained on the clock.

 

"No. Say" The lizard turned to the troglyodyte, waving a claw in an hyperactive manner. "Could you- could you read me the time on that clock over there?"

 

The troglyodyte glanced in the direction of the grandfather clock, then shook his head sadly.

 

"Naw, it's too hard to read when it's been knocked upside down like that, sorry." The troglyodyte pulled up his pants and turned, only to pause for a moment. "Not that it'd really matter if it was right-side up, since I never learned to count..."

 

The overgrown lizard stammered and departed from the area, moving quickly in his Sucker Punch-enhanced state. Passing by DL Snake and Vanessa, Wyvern's eye caught Tasslehof wandering through the party, and he immediately rushed up to the kender and grabbed him by the shoulders.

 

"Tasslehof" cried Wyvern in a high-pitched voice, shaking Tasslehof by his shoulders energetically. "Ni-Nice to see here! Nice to see you here! Nice to see you here!"

 

"Uhhh." Tasslehof winced as he stared into the lizards flaming eyes, his foot still tapping to the beat of "Love Rocket." "N-nice to see-"

 

"Nice to see you here!" Wyvern continued shaking Tasslehof, a scaly grin spreading over his face. "Listen, do you have the time? Do you have the time? Do you have the time?!"

 

"Y-yeah." Tasslehof rummaged through his pouch, taking out a count down timer with "0:05:42" flashing on the screen. "Five minutes and fourty two seconds until the vernal equinox lunar eclipse, so it's around eleven fifty fi-"

 

"FIVE MINUTES?" Wyvern snatched the count down timer from Tasslehof's hand and stared at it, flabbergasted. The timer now read "0:05:30." "Th-the eclipse!"

 

With that, the overgrown lizard dropped the timer and began running through the party like a raging lunatic, shouting something about sunglasses and lunar prophecies.

 

----

 

Verteniun took the advantage of the change of song to "Love Rocket" by rushing to the dancefloor and grabbing Daliarus by the hand. Turning to Yui-chan, he smiled.

 

"Sorry, do you mind if I take a dance with him? He and I are close."

 

Yui glanced at the stranger oddly, raising a brow.

 

"Uhh, no, feel free."

 

"Why thank you." Verteniun bowed again and smiled as Daliarus stammered, then proceeded to break into a high-speed waltz with him, headed towards the stairs leading to the Conservatory's star-gazing rooftops...

[DoctorEvil]

A dark ghostly form glides into the room, followed closely by a shambling corpse bearing a large jar filled with orange colored liquid. Floating in the liquid is the unmistakable form of a human brain.....and something else......

 

The Doctor's ghostly voice growls slowly as the Doctor's Zombie Servant, Carl, slowly reaches into the infamous Brain Jar (patented by the Army of Darkness) and grabs the object floating next to the Doctor's undying brain....an object that is pink with red hearts printed on it. Carl holds the object above his head for all to see

 

"Excuse the Doctor, but did SOMEONE lose a pair of boxer shorts?????"

 

"More importantly", exclaims the wraith-like figure of DoctorEvil "Who put them in the Doctor's Brain Jar, next to the Doctor's brain????"

 

Tap, tap, tap goes the spectral foot of DoctorEvil........

Edited February 9, 2005 by DoctorEvil

[Sweetcherrie]

Sweetcherrie knew that she was late, but a meeting had held her up, and then she still had to write that cathaiku. She sighed and looked at the neatly folded paper in her hand, it wasn’t much but it would have to do. She walked a bit faster and rounded the corner, there were still a few people waiting to get in. She joined the line behind someone she’d never met before, and nervously unrolled the sleeves of her sweater. It had been warm today but now it was cooling quickly, and the sweater she was wearing was only a flimsy one.

 

“Should have stopped at home first.” She thought, and glanced over her clothes hoping they weren’t too formal for the night.

 

She shivered, and rubbed her arms over her arms to warm up a bit. The man in front of her noticed that she was shivering, ticked his hat and offered her his grey trench coat. Gratefully she took it, and read over her haiku again. The line was only moving slowly, and Sweetcherrie saw that this was because of the fact that the trolls at the entrance were checking each new visitor meticulously.

 

“This is so inefficient” she hissed under her breath, and decided to go and see Melba if she could help with something. She stepped up to the front of the line and was just about to open her mouth, when one of the trolls gabbed the piece of paper with the cathaiku on it.

 

“Playful little kitten

Tiny little ball of fur

Angelic when asleep”

 

Before she can open her mouth to protest the troll has put the paper in the gift bin and shoves her inside. Sweetcherrie blinks a couple of times of surprise, and notices she’s still wearing the grey trench coat.

[Wyvern]

"Dat be Grock's."

 

A large, muscular hand lands on the shoulder of DoctorEvil, causing him to turn. The cerebrial fluids in the Doctor's brain jar ripple as Grock the troll bouncer snarls at him, his menacing eyes directed towards the wimpy-looking undies.

 

"Grock want back before other trollsies see. Could no afford chain mail undies."

 

DoctorEvil fidgets as the troll bouncer reaches for the underwear, scowling at the thought of losing a unique Brainiac Underwear entrance fee and stammering:

 

"H-haven't you ever heard of intellectual property?!"

 

----

 

Sweetcherrie stammers as what appears to be a red streak of lightning flashes by her, shoving a pair of quafter-fur sunglasses into her hands. She watches as the crimson ball of energy surges through the crowds, tossing sunglasses left and right.

 

"Incoming eclipssse! Incoming eclipssse!"

 

Happybuddha turns and finds himself gripping a pair of XXXXXXXL sunglasses, catching only a glimpse of the red lightning as it bounds towards the dance floor. Knight catches a pair of steel sunglasses while Finnius finds himself with some classic blue shades.

 

"Loook out for the ecliiiiiiippppppppsssssse!"

 

Mira's jaw drops as a pair of circular silver shades lands right on his face, darkening his vision. Gyrfalcon catches an entire bundle of sunglasses and begins distributing them left and right, while Yui-chan concentrates the shadows to create a powerful aura of shade.

 

"Ecllliiiiiippppppppsssse!"

 

Grimmael doodles some makeshift sunglasses on the Portrait of Zool while the Wyvern-streak zooms by in an open display of Sucker Punch potency, tossing a pair of glittering sunglasses to Starlight and some shaded diving goggles to Boaz. The blur of a lizard bounds into the dancefloor, flashing by Orlan and dropping off some extra-stylish shades. Xaious slows time as a pair of sunglasses with clocks for shades heads in his direction, and plucks it out of the air with the greatest of ease.

 

"Get reaaadddddyyyy for the ecccllllllllllliiiiiiippppppse!"

 

The lighting in the room begins to undergo a change as a sliver of moon becomes dark, reflecting through the crystals of the rooftops, bouncing off of Happybuddha's XXXXXXXL sunglasses, and causing Minta's slaad to get covered in an odd hot-pink light. Wyvern bounces off of walls, Twister boards, and non-pirahna-oriented Buffet Tables, throwing sunglasses in the air like confetti.

 

0:00:05

 

The lighting shifts drastically as a count down is chanted by the audience, started by Ayshela. Wyvern shoves on his very own pair of trusty Almost Dragonic Brand Substitutional Sunglasses™, only to watch as the shades fall right out of their frames.

 

"eep"

 

The lizard ducks and covers as the Conservatory begins filling with light...