I can feel it....

[Xaious, Master of Time]

It feels like, it is. And I can feel it.

I can feel myself dying inside. Not enough to be noticed, not for others.

But I feel it inside of me, slowly fading black and crumbling.

It is unpleasant.

I thought I was stronger than this!

I thought I could take what would be thrown at me!

I thought so!

I knew so!

 

I was wrong.

I feel myself, hurting, dying slowly inside, hollowing myself out, with no intentions.

It is not recent, no.

For years it has festered, and grown.

A malignant and pestilential blackening, emptying, putrid corrosion of what I thought I was.

For years. Many years.

Before I was returned love.

Before Beautiful.

Before even I first heard that saying, 'maybe we can be friends.'

Before that.

And yet, it was after, too.

It was after my first longing.

It was after my first grudge, my only grudge, now forgoten.

And after dreams of mountainous terrains.

 

Yes, it was Before.

And it was after.

And all in the midst, over and under, within and without.

Ever present, Evergrowing, Never leaving and Never-ending.

An all-consuming pitch, dreaming of Lovecraftian colored ruinations of my self.

 

Slipping, and falling, and thinking, and never gaining peace from this...this...

This Foul Dream of the Well Passed Twilight.

**********************

Commentos?

[X-Sabre]

u have great poems! i luv them all! keep them coming!

[Yui-chan]

Xaious,

 

Hmm... This one is really hard to read, both because of a healthy spread of typos and incorrect punctuation and because of its very stream-of-consciousness flow. Beyond trying to portray some dark, depressed feelings, I'm not sure I can quite glean where you were trying to go with this. What was your purpose? If all you were after was feeling with no concrete comprehension of the source/reason, then I think you've done a great job, because this is certainly a piece full of emotion. However, if you wanted to tell me something, then you might want to go back through it with an eye towards ironing out the flow a bit and filling in a few of the vague details.

 

It's a very interesting piece, so don't let me discourage you. I enjoyed reading it.

 

Thanks,

~Yui

[Xaious, Master of Time]

Thanks for the comments.

Yes, I did indeed not want to say what was the cause/reason for this, it wasn't directed toward anyone. Other than myself.

And..my mind talks to itself in an incredibly odd way....

Thanks for enjoying it, you in no way, whatsoever, discouraged me..

That's hard to do.