Rahsash Geldich Posted April 24, 2004 Report Posted April 24, 2004 Too easy to hurt Too easy to break So easy to marr And so hard to re make If you must love Know what you take Hearts will still bleed From one old mistake
HopperWolf Posted April 24, 2004 Report Posted April 24, 2004 (edited) nice form effective use. new spin on the topic, which is nice to see. I like to see the old forms coming back. only thing i can spot really is the 4th line "And so hard to remake" The rhythm is out by a beat here which could be solved easily by removing "so" from the line as it is heavily implied because of the context of the previous 3 lines. Edited April 25, 2004 by HopperWolf
DL_Snake Posted April 25, 2004 Report Posted April 25, 2004 Lovely diction And applies to certain moods as well. very nice =)
Rahsash Geldich Posted April 26, 2004 Author Report Posted April 26, 2004 Thanks! I think the So is actually part of my style, adding an extra beat to the last line of a stanza is an odd habit of mine that usually makes it flow better in my head. Thank you again for your comments!
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