A B.A in B.S

[disizmrkent]

I don't need no education

I speak in my own words and ways

and the higher levels you have achieved

don't speak as loud as the things I says

 

I don't need no schooling, I'm doin fine

there's no institutions for me to go to

And if there are barriers that I am trapped behind

I'll wind up, yell out, and blow through

 

So you can take the higher learning system

and you can kick it to the moon and back here

cause your education don't mean nuffin to me

and I speaks fine and clear

[Yui-chan]

disizmrkent,

 

This is interesting, though I find it a little contradictory for reasons I don't think you intended. Your use of double negatives and the occassional bad grammar and punctuation works well to support the sattire, but I keep getting stuck on the fact that your supposedly-ignorant speaker uses nonstandard words like 'barrier' and 'acheived'. Maybe it's on purpose, but I keep expecting to see a much more colloquial tone than the one you acheived.

 

Still, it's an amusing work with an interesting theme. Thank you for sharing it with us.

 

Yours,

~Yui

[Tralla]

I like it. It's quirky in a good way. To build on Yui's observation, which I agree with, you might want to try some similar words... ie, "walls" instead of barriers, and "reached" instead of achieved. They might not fit the meaning or rhythm you were going for, but just thought I'd throw them out...

 

*thumbs up*

[disizmrkent]

Yes, the "5 dollar" words were mockingly put in there on purpose... a little bit of a trick, but not too hard to notice. Maybe it would make better sense without them, but I thought it mocked them even further to put them in there.

 

Thanks for the support of any of my work tough!

Edited May 10, 2004 by disizmrkent

[X-Sabre]

wow, ur smart.