Memories

[Random]

Memories.

 

We cherish the good ones. And wish to forget the bad.

 

What do you do when painful memories are stirred up?

Edited March 29, 2004 by Random

[Ayshela]

mmm

really depends on which memories and what stirred them, honestly.

some of my methods of handling pain are more self destructive than others - and some are more useful than others.

interleaved throughout them, though, is getting hold of someone to talk to. Unfortunately, the people i trust most, and those who know me the best, are thousands of miles away and difficult to reach in the best of circumstances.

And yet.. and yet.. dumping a surface layer of stuff into e-mail or IM and shooting it to one or another or yet another - perceptive as they are they know there's more bubbling below the surface awaiting an unguarded moment in which to drown me, and the responsiveness is there.

 

And when life goes to hell in a handbasket on their end, they know i'm at the other end of the phone line, the other side of the screen, whichever works for them.

 

"Yes, i'd like to phone a friend."

 

=)

[The Big Pointy One]

Deal with it, that's what.

 

[The Portrait of Zool]

I've got some great memories. I've got some that ain't so great either. I've heard it said that one must 'get over' the rough spots, and concentrate on the good, but I've come to think that the worse things aren't really something one can just 'get over', that a person is changed by these things and does go on, but with a new perspective on things. Change is the price of growth. As such, I take the bad with the good, and don't deny the bad becasue it paradoxically causes me to cherish the good all the more.

 

Without the bad memories to give perspective, why would I value the good so much?

[Aardvark]

The good thing about a bad memory is the bad memories are gone before you realise you're remembering them.

 

The bad thing is you spend the next hour trying to remember whatever it was you just forgot, incase it was a good memory

[The Portrait of Zool]

Aren't you forgetting something Aardy...?

[Aardvark]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

 

Sorry, what was I saying?

[The Portrait of Zool]

Uhhhh....

 

I forget.

[KayLisa GreyWolf]

My father passed away last week, and it has been really rough trying to not completely break down and lose it...

 

Keeping busy seems to help alot?

[Valdar and Astralis]

Bad memories from youth are things to laugh about when old.

 

Remember how earth-shatteringly important not eating vegies were?

[Degenero Angelus]

Not eating Veggies?

 

Hmmm............... This would be a good time to use antithesis

 

Thankfully, my memory is horrid. I do have a few dirty secrets, but, unfortunately, they're staying that way.

[Ayshela]

bad memories from youth are sometimes nightmares when older.

depends on the memory, and whether it was an isolated incident or part of a larger pattern.

also depends whether you're talking about unfair rules being enforced, random humiliations, or life threatening circumstances.

*shrug*

in any case, i find getting it on the *outside* where i can look the situation over from different perspectives helps immensely, as does having someone i trust to offer different perspectives i haven't reached yet.

[Ozymandias]

If they taught a lesson I feel I still haven't learned, then I mull over them a little, trying to translate the experience into any present parallels. From there, the road can, has, and will go many places.

 

If I did learn from them, I give them emotional acknowledgement, then move on to the next thought.

 

Sometimes the acknowledgement is interrupted by self recrimination, but it's happening less and less often for shorter and shorter times, the more time goes by.

[Falcon2001]

A lot of times you just need to accept them in their entirety and move on. Grudging these memories more of your time doesn't do anything productive, merely takes up more time and energy you could be using effectively to produce more of a life. Aardvark brings up an excellent point which can be taken to extremes easily enough - strip away the excess.

 

In despair, I of course have taken that way too far, going far enough to strip away food, friends, and pleasure so that I could theoretically become stronger and more powerful. In the end you just end up hungry, tired, and lonely. There's a thin line, but I'm pretty sure that everyone could find it if they're honest with themselves.

 

ID: Give donut.

 

Super-Ego: But Mr. Fox-bailey's talking right now.

 

ID: Don't care, give donut now. Hungry. Must pursue long-lasting meaningful monogamous relationship resulting in offspring.

[Zariah]

For me, I take in the painful memories as a part of what helped me become who I am today. It gives me a wake up call when I am thinking things are just too good to be true. Pain is normal, and I use the experiences that I went through in the past, to help me better cope with the ones I am soon to face in the present. Sometimes it's ok to just sit around for a few hours and mope from all the painful memories, but then it's good to counter them with GOOD memories afterward so you can still function in reality.

Anyways, that's my 2 cents worth.

[Aardvark]

I just saw Etermal Sunshine of the clear minded... endless sunshine of the empty mind.... endless summer of the... jesus, I only just saw the thing and I can't even remember it's goddamn title. Jim Car... no, I'm not even going to try and remember how that one is spelled... using his acting ability for good instead of for slapstickevil. All about memory loss.

 

Man, it's so beautiful, I need to see it again to remember any more details