The Eagle Posted March 22, 2004 Report Posted March 22, 2004 Since this forum is geared directly towards writing, i figured i'd see what the people around here had to say about this song i've written. Reverence Of The Skies The abode of heaven's stars Words but mask its majesty The moon does pass as too the sun Day and night throughout shall run And as you look upon the clouds Painted glory and awe You know something you cannot remember From a time that never seemed to be In a place that rests in the depths of your mind Enigmatic shades carress your heart and soul Singing as it shines the sky inspires the all And as the sun imparts you with it's wisdom and it's strength It rests it's head once more and feigns the mountain tops again The children follow close behind Standing tall across the sky They've all but gone The sky has darkened The dance of the stars begins Their master shines it's haunting light It's boldness is heavy and strong Calming... Soothing... And still the wonder lingers Tugging at your heart The reverence of the skies Will never be torn apart It's left a mark upon your spirit Never to be lifted
Ayshela Posted March 22, 2004 Report Posted March 22, 2004 mmmmm i like this. it flows well. a couple minor suggestions - watch your "its" and "it's" - in this case the apostrophe is contraction, not possession. also, this line And as the sun imparts you with it's wisdom and it's strength"imparts you with" would read more accurately as "imparts to you". you wouldn't say "gives you with" or "conveys you with" or "communicates you with" - but "to you" would fit in any instance. Nice work, i hope to see you around much more!
The Eagle Posted March 23, 2004 Author Report Posted March 23, 2004 Excellent! Thank you for your helpful reply! Have a butterfly PS - i didn't mean for that to rhyme
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