Random Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 To me it's when you care about someone more than you care about yourself. Short and simple.. wish I could go more in depth, but I feel rather lazy right now. Anyhow, what's love to you?
Peredhil Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 Not enough time to answer such a complex question, so I'll provide a miniscule subset answer by quoting Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols: Love is two minutes and fifteen seconds of squishy noises. In my world, that falls under "Eros", and is in the context of marriage.
Elvina Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 (edited) I believe there are three types of love: Philos - friendship , fellowship with people. Eros - physical attraction, etc. Agape - perfect love, the object of which you would place above your own wants and needs. People can love their country with agape love, and would enlist in the military and risk their lives for their people or a cause. People can have agape love for one another, where a person will lay down his/her life for another. And there you go. And I disagree with Peredhil. That 'squishy noises' thing is not love at all, just sex. Having sex with someone is not necessarily loving them. People can have sex with as many people as they like and they will still be empty. They may even think they 'love' the person and therefore have sex with them, but sex isn't even the consumation of love, which isn't a physical thing. The consumation of love is commitment, simply as that. (Sorry if it seems like I'm taking a stab at you, Peredhil, because I don't mean to). Elvina Edited March 12, 2004 by Elvina
Ayshela Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 *nod* which would be why he specified that as falling under *Eros* and in the context of marriage. i'm glad you had time to type the rest of that in, as Per's been rather lacking in the spare-seconds department lately. mmm. i left this one unanswered yesterday thinking my nerves would be less jangled and i'd be a little less sleep deprived and better able to come up with a coherent answer - hah! so much for that thought.. so, preliminary answer in case this trend continues.. to me, love is care and concern for someone's health, happiness, and well-being, shown by doing things which facilitate those things - even when that seems contradictory. You can love someone and do something with their well-being in mind, something in their long term best interest, even though in the immediate sense it doesn't make them very happy. So.. caring enough to keep an eye on someone else's best interest. (and yes, that encompasses a *lot* of relationship possibilities)
Katzaniel Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 I'm not sure if I should venture my own guesses on the subject because I've been trying to figure out what exactly it is I feel for a while now - I think that I'm in love, but the whole image of love is hard to whittle down to what I feel. Instead I'd like to add my own subquestions: Isn't wanting to do things for other people also a personality thing, meaning that a greedy person would rarely feel it, and a generous person would feel it for lots of people? Does that mean that loving someone might just be liking them, liking being with them, knowing that you could be with them your whole life, and being willing to put in the effort to do so? Also knowing that a person challenges you to be better? Or is it possible that by finding someone you "only" feel that about might be risking finding a real-life version of the romanticized love? The media claim that "you'll know it when you feel it" but I don't think that's true. I've never been certain of anything, so how could love be obvious? Why would anybody risk something as great as the above just because there might be something better? And if there was something better, wouldn't it be cruel to the person you were with to stay with them? I guess what I'm saying is, I have a guess, and I wish I knew for sure that it was right.
Quincunx Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 We had a discussion on this mouldering somewhere in Cabaret Room, probably multiple times, if you search for Love in the title and want the answers of those who are no longer here or unabashedly busy at this time.
Tasslehoff Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 To me, love has become the feeling that you just cant live with the person at times, but at that same moment, you cant live out them.
Vlad Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 Having sex with someone is not necessarily loving them. People can have sex with as many people as they like and they will still be empty. They may even think they 'love' the person and therefore have sex with them, but sex isn't even the consumation of love, which isn't a physical thing. In a sense, I agree with you, yet I feel that your defenition needs some refining. Many people do think that by having sex, they will find love. However, this is simply an error in a person's understanding of causality. Sex is the effect, not the cause. People don't fall in love because they have sex, they have sex because they fall in love. Many loveless people have rampant amounts of sex hoping it will lead them to success, but they are clearly mistaken. Sex is the manifestation of 'love'. It's a biological process designed to keep the human race alive. Why are people willing to sacrifice for others? Kin selection. I personally believe that altruism inherently denies human worth, but that's a different topic. Love is the feeling that people get when they are willing to go to lengths for the benefit of others, without the possibilty of tangible gain. Many, in this context, love their best friends, but won't admit it due to homophobia. (Again, this is a different topic. I get off track so often because love must be examined in its context.) (If anyone wants me to clarify my stance on any of the issues I mentioned, my contact info is down below)
Solivagus Posted March 12, 2004 Report Posted March 12, 2004 (edited) Hmmm...torn between my desire to express my opinion on such a general topic, and the knowledge that my view of it is known by some already. Ah, what the hell, you only live once. Love is...intrusive. It is, moreover, almost entirly an illusion. It can make the worlds best thinkers into woolheads and can cause those who previously enjoyed thier lives to become thoroughly depressed. It is the cause of more friction, hatred, and contempt than anything else I have witnessed, though I admit that being only 19 does lessen the effect of that sentance. It is however a fascinating thing to observe from a safe distance. The mystery of how even those who know what pain love brings still manage to believe that it is worth a try still eludes me. My apologies to those who know my views on it already by the way. One day I promise I'll stop airing them Edited March 12, 2004 by Solivagus
purple_shadows Posted March 13, 2004 Report Posted March 13, 2004 Love. What is love? Love is many things combined, that on their own, would not be love. For example, love is respect. You can not love without respect. However, though you respect someone, you don't always love them, infact, youu may loathe them entirely. Love is a blance between doing what's right for you, and what's right for the other person. If you're constantly doing thhings to accomidate that person, regardless of the cost to yourself, that isn't love. Love is not only helping the other person, but knowing where to draw the line and accomedate yourself. Love is trust. You cannot love without trust, although trusting someone doesn't mean you love them. Love is honesty. You have to be comfortable being honest with the one you love. if you are uncomfortable being yourself around them, it isn't love. However, you can be honest with someone and not love them. Love is strength. Love is passion. Love is entirely within yourself, and it is all too unpredictable. Love is messy, and nothing like the romance that the media portrays, although it can be at times. Love is a lot of things. Things that bythemselves may seem wholey unremarkable, but when joined together create something unlike anything else in the world. GESTALT- The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Elvina Posted March 13, 2004 Report Posted March 13, 2004 (edited) Many people do think that by having sex, they will find love. However, this is simply an error in a person's understanding of causality. Sex is the effect, not the cause. People don't fall in love because they have sex, they have sex because they fall in love. Many loveless people have rampant amounts of sex hoping it will lead them to success, but they are clearly mistaken. Sex is the manifestation of 'love'. It's a biological process designed to keep the human race alive. Why are people willing to sacrifice for others? Kin selection. I personally believe that altruism inherently denies human worth, but that's a different topic. Love is the feeling that people get when they are willing to go to lengths for the benefit of others, without the possibility of tangible gain. No I disagree. Sex is not the effect of love. One can easily have sex without 'feeling' love for a person. Whether it is rape, or any kind of sex with a consenting stranger for the sake of 'comfort' or whatever, one definitely does not need to 'feel' love of any kind for or with a person one has sex with. Sex is not a manifestation of love. Should paedophilia be accepted because the perpetrator 'loved' their victim? Of course not. Nor is it a manifestation of love between two consenting adults. Sex is simply a physical act, a pleasurable one no doubt, but simply physical and not dependant on 'feelings'. The plan God had for sex was for it to be a pleasurable thing, a joyful way to create children, solely within the context of marriage, for reasons of committed security and agreement between the married couple for their sake and for the sake of any children. Real love, the kind that would cause someone to give his or her life for another, is definitely NOT a feeling. Yes, you read correctly, NOT a feeling. Real love, agape love, is a commitment, an action, and an enactment of conviction. That's what marriage is supposed to be. The vows are an enactment of the conviction of the couple that they will act in love (not feel love) toward their spouse for the rest of their lives. Any couple that has been married long enough will tell you that the 'feeling' of love will come and go. It's the commitment of acting in agape love towards their spouse that cements the relationship and forms a base that will not be moved, no matter what the 'feelings' for the moment are - that's what marriage is supposed to be. Communication and sorting out problems must also be dealt with by spouses. Once the original 'feelings' of love that motivated a couple to make such a commitment are gone, the commitment of love that they made forms the basis for a deeper, longer lasting, 'feeling' of love that can only come through experience and commitment. In the world, the spiel has been 'if it feels, good do it', but you can feel one hundred and one ways about the same thing in one day. Feelings swish and blow like the wind, always changing, never solid enough to form a base for anything concrete. Real love is doing what is right, regardless of how it feels. Do you think in a war that soldiers aren't scared of being shot or killed? Of course they would be! Yet some will still go back into the battle fray to haul off a wounded friend or comrade. Do they have time to feel all mushy and lovey dovey while bullets are ripping past them? Of course not. They don't have time to rustle up some feelings for this person or that person, they simply go out and do their duty as a soldier. Why? Because for some reason, they had committed to the military that they would serve as soldiers. That commitment stands in their minds, not so much conscious thought, but as an unmoving fact at the back of their minds. Real love is a commitment, because real love can only be expressed through commitment, whether to a person, a deity, or a cause, or an ideal. I'm not saying that feelings of love are obsolete, I'm saying that ultimately they have no staying power. Couples in this world get together and break up and get together and break up again, and why? Plenty would easily say "I just don't love him/her anymore". God commands the marriage commitment first and sex later because the commitment provides security for both people. It is saying "I will choose to act in love towards you, which is putting your needs before mine, even when I no longer have feelings of love for you". Real and true love is putting someone or something else before your own wants and desires, because you choose to, not because you 'feel' like it. Love is an action, and a choice. Always a choice. Elvina Edited March 13, 2004 by Elvina
Justin Silverblade Posted March 13, 2004 Report Posted March 13, 2004 (edited) "Love" is a word. Nothing exquisitly more, nothing degradingly less. Past that it's all real life, and it (usually) only gets better from there. - Justin Edited March 13, 2004 by Justin Silverblade
Valdar and Astralis Posted March 15, 2004 Report Posted March 15, 2004 Ah, but 'squishy noises' could also be the sound of someone getting crushed by a tank as he valiantly (and futiley) shoots his pistol over a mound of dead commarades while holding a flag in the other hand. It could also be the sound of a sister getting hit in the head with a squishy tomato her beloved brother threw from across the room. . . Thereby agrees with your theory of three loves.
Falcon2001 Posted March 15, 2004 Report Posted March 15, 2004 *Sees the topic, reads the posts, and then sighs and walks away instead of answering*
SamaraMorgan Posted March 15, 2004 Report Posted March 15, 2004 ::Closes her eyes and thinks thouroughly inside her heart for the perfect definition:: Love...what is love? Hm.. Having a true, close, relationship with one. Feeling nothing can cross between the two of you. Yearning to completely smother in kisses, embrace, and announce to the entire universe that you're in love! Wanting to be with that person every moment of everyday. Feeling their heart beating next to yours. Listening to their whispers blowing gently across your ear, as everything else, fades away. Someone who gives you warmth at heart and soul. Someone who would die for you, as you'd do the same. Though you'd much rather die hand in hand and lie together, bound together, your souls so sweetly sewn together; in eternity. Love is knowing you're loved without having to hear it. You feel it. Flowing through you...day and night, night and day. Forever. ::opens eyes and glances around her with a grin:: How's that?
Solivagus Posted March 15, 2004 Report Posted March 15, 2004 (edited) Very...impressive...Samara Edited March 15, 2004 by Solivagus
Snypiuer Posted March 15, 2004 Report Posted March 15, 2004 It's the driving force that gives you the ability to climb the 12 foot back wall, sneak into her house and go through all her stuff - despite the restraining order and the fact she has never even met you? No. Wait. That's stalking. How about: That feeling you get as you shovel that last bit of dirt on the shallow grave, that makes you think, "Man, I'm going to miss her cooking."? O.K., so I have no clue, blame my lack of sensitivity. Some may say that my insensitivity is why I'm not married. I still claim it's because I can't afford to own a wife.
Jareena Faye Posted March 16, 2004 Report Posted March 16, 2004 The greatest thing you could do for a person is give your life for them, even when they don't deserve it. That's love.
Appy Posted March 16, 2004 Report Posted March 16, 2004 heh mind if I counter Jareena? The greatest thing you could do for a person is to stay alive for them, even if you feel you don't deserve it. That's love. . .
Appy Posted March 16, 2004 Report Posted March 16, 2004 maybe it's not a counter, but adding to what you already said, Jareena *bows and walks away, shaking her head about people that discuss something subjective*
Lady Celes Crusader Posted March 17, 2004 Report Posted March 17, 2004 Love, for me, is a feeling that someone gives you and that makes you so strong that you're willing to do anything for the said person.
Solivagus Posted March 17, 2004 Report Posted March 17, 2004 (edited) Hmmm... Where you give your life for them I'm going to have to side with Appy over Jareena. Surely if someone loves you and you die for whatever reason they're going to get a tad upset. I'd switch it to "Anything short of death" myself. Edited March 17, 2004 by Solivagus
Recommended Posts