purple_shadows Posted March 10, 2004 Report Posted March 10, 2004 Trying to fill what's empty But there's holes on the bottom Still I strive to find what isn't there Devoid of any real emotion An empty shell am I Everyone has secrets that they hide I bury mine the deepest As far as they will go Until something unlocks them There will always be these holes And though there's leaks I will not cry Just bury it inside Harden the interior To combat which is exterior
Lone Shadow Posted March 10, 2004 Report Posted March 10, 2004 Wow, you're 2nd and 3rd stanzas really hit home. Very nice, thank you.
Ayshela Posted March 11, 2004 Report Posted March 11, 2004 *hugs* astonishing, isn't it, that the more you fill with pain the emptier you feel?
Appy Posted March 11, 2004 Report Posted March 11, 2004 I guess it's because the more emotional pain you get to endure, the more you realise you're the only one you can really share it with.... I don't know.. that knowledge cuts deep into feeling alone and emtpy for me. Well written purple shadows, but for some reason the first stanza seems out of place to me.... not sure why, i'll look it over again when i'm not so inbalanced as today, kay? Overall I like it a lot, as a poem, and for subject at the moment.... *hugs*
purple_shadows Posted March 11, 2004 Author Report Posted March 11, 2004 *hugs* thanks guys. And Appy, if the first stanza doesn't seem to fit, that's because it wasn't really made to. However, without it "holes" wouldn't be the same, considering the first stanza is what it is based off of, the second and third just go deeper. Not to mention, no one will ever see a poem the same way. what a writter intends and what people think they intend may be two different things, so the fact that it was out of place to you, is ok. I appreciate the fact that you even read it and took time to comment and critique. It's always interesting to know how other people interpret your writing. *hugs all around*
Falcon2001 Posted March 11, 2004 Report Posted March 11, 2004 Harden the interior To combat which is exterior Excellent line - I really identify with the feeling behind it, and the rhyme is simply fantastic.
purple_shadows Posted March 11, 2004 Author Report Posted March 11, 2004 yeah, I really enjoyed playing with that there. It was fun.
Arashi Posted March 11, 2004 Report Posted March 11, 2004 This is a very interesting piece. I can see were you're coming from but that probably because I know you personally. All in all I liked it very much and thank you.
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