Appy Posted March 8, 2004 Report Posted March 8, 2004 (edited) ~ Due to some great help from Morgane and Wyvern I'm re-posting my latest poem, originally titled as "Rock", now titled "Storm".. thanks for helping me decide on a new title! ~StormPleasebe silentdon't say a wordI cannot concentrateon What you are saying..Mindless babbling;uninteresting mattersA frown on my foreheadfor having to ask youagain what you saidor what you really meantArguing about nothingAnnoyance through wordingIncreasing distancewith every syllableButbe silentdon't say a wordI'm concentratingon us touching..Feelings close in;only you mattersA smile on my lipsfor experiencing warmthagain from your bodyor your breath on my cheekTranquility, doing nothingRelaxing without a wordIncreasing closenesswith every touch..I love youmy solid rockand safety lock;in every storm of emotions.. [08 maart 2004, Leverkusen] Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy
Wyvern Posted March 11, 2004 Report Posted March 11, 2004 I think that this is an excellent poem, Appy. I particularly like how arguments are dismissed by the narrator for the tranquility of simply touching, and also love the very original and intriguing metaphor at the end. I found the placement of the sentence "... I love you." on it's own after the three stanzas dealing with touch to be very evocative and touching as well. Well done.
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