Meaning

[Vlad]

I sat alone in front of the computer. It was late at night, everybody else in the house was already sleeping. A gentle whirr from the processor, and my fingers rattling away at the keyboard were the only things breaking the silence. I looked at the monitor, and pondered, my face reflecting in the pale glow. I wrote what came to mind, my soul reflecting in the words that appeared.

 

My thoughts focused on the story, which I needed to tell. My thoughts focused on all of the events that had culminated in my life up to this point. As I continued hammering away, my resilience wavered, and my thoughts drifted. They raced aimlessly, darting from one point to the next, all coming out through the words on the screen.

 

My body followed the path of my mind rather quickly. I couldn’t sit still, the nerves were getting to me. My hands stopped obeying my brain. As my fingers hit the keyboard, they came to an unnatural halt. I took a deep breath, tried to focus the chi within me. It doesn’t matter how long this takes, something this important needs to be let out. My hands remained blocks of ice.

 

I couldn't do it. The story of my life needed to be let out, but something was stopping me. God, or Fate, or my subconscious didn't want this to happen. I tried a final shot of nerve impulses at my fingers, but nothing overpowered the supernatural within me. Conceding defeat, I decided on taking a break. A long stroll would be good, and I could avoid human contact.

 

As soon as I stepped out the door, a chill gust hit me in the face. It felt like a brush of razors, but was surprisingly refreshing. While a windbreaker hugged my frame, I looked around the neighborhood. As my eyes flowed from house to house I mentally identified each resident.

 

My feet were moving before I noticed them carrying my body away. As I walked, a neon sign grasped my attention. It was by the side of the road, perhaps a bit lonely. It was there, and it fit with the surroundings, but it still seemed unnatural.

 

As I approached, the gentle curves began to form letters. Most everyone who walked past saw the bubbly "We're Open," but it began to be more and more out of place. I could have easily ignored it, but the sign had an ominous presence that kept tugging back at me.

 

Continuing along the sidewalk, I saw a building peek out from behind the trees. My pace quickened with my intrigue, as did my pulse. A dimly lit facade of tan brick emerged into view. The whole building was a paradox of existence. It was menacing in its antiquity, yet humble and inviting all the same.

 

Reaching out and grasping the iron handles, a warm presence washed over me. The door opened at my touch, revealing a candle-lit room, no lighter than the street. I could see no windows, or any other doors. Walking into the central chamber, a heavy scent assailed my nostrils. Very medieval, but not unpleasant. The room was flooding with sporadic whispers, and an all consuming melodic tune.

 

Rows of benches were relatively empty of people, but a great number housed a collection of books. A dozen figures, at most, bustled around keeping busy. They were dressed in long brown robes, with hoods that completely covered faces. These men reminded me of a cult, and I had stumbled onto their secret abode.

 

For the first time, my jeans and windbreaker seemed unnatural. I lost track of the hands of time while watching these members flip through tome after tome. They all worked silently, and I felt insignificant, and unimportant. As I looked on in awe, my life felt like it had a gaping hole. There was something missing.

 

I felt it was time to leave, but was out of the door before I consciously made an effort. I didn't notice when I started to go home, when I passed the glowing sign. I didn't notice the houses next to which I had lived my entire life. I walked inside my own house, and seated myself at the computer. The words wouldn't stop coming.

 

The next day, I told the girl of my dreams I loved her. I told my worst enemy that I couldn't care less if he died. I told all my teachers thanks, told my mom and dad good-bye. I finally left my small town forever.

 

I found meaning unto my life.