BehindBlindEyes Posted February 14, 2004 Report Posted February 14, 2004 I need you babe, You're all i crave, I think back to when i had no-one, And i feel like death; I need you, You're the only one for me, You have made me feel love, And what it's like to be loved. You have broadened my horizon; I love you more than life, Everytime you're upset, i feel the pain. I know what i want in life, And the only thing i want is you. You light up my everytime i see you, You give me shivers when i hear your voice. I haven't felt this feeling before, But i love it and don't want it to end. I want you alone to be mine forever, You complete me, utterly complete me. The girl of my dreams, i can't believe it, You're truely amazing, Love is a feeling i now have-thanks to you.
Peredhil Posted February 14, 2004 Report Posted February 14, 2004 He he... Don't hold back - tell her how you REALLY feel! But seriously, not a bad start on the lifelong path of poetry. When you're done writing - double-check the little things to help the reader, for instance, the difference between "your" and "you're" (short for "you are") can cause a reader to stumble in the flow. This read better aloud than just in print, and it wouldn't surprise me if it could be made into a song. I seem to recall that feeling that way was VERY big when I was younger. Tries to remember being young. Keep writing!
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