Realisation

[Appy]

As I lie here

in bed, late at night...

 

[twitch]

 

[switch]

 

Wait, no more, screw this pattern of useless blabbing, this persona is too fickle for obvious, already treaded ways...

 

[reboot]

 

What I want is to speak, and to be heard

What I say is contradictory to what I want

 

[realisation]

 

"There is no reason for LIFE"

 

[/]

[rejudging]

 

"Maybe that's what life is all about..."

 

[/]

[recalcitration]

 

"Life is unneccesary to existence"

 

[/]

[..]

 

"Then again; What is life..; Does the unobserved exist?"

 

[/][/][/][/]

 

 

 

[05 februari 2004, Leverkusen]

Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy

[Appy]

~ needs work ~

Spring

I wish to reach up high
Push my hands into the sky
To rip apart the gloomy clouds
let the sun shine upon the earth

But I am no giant
I am no thunderbird nor pheonix
This is all that's me
being down with the weather

Waiting for spring
when new life unfolds
and energy surges;
My smile'll shape around it
once more, with feeling..

 

 

 

[05 februari 2004, Leverkusen]

Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy

[Parmenion]

The first poem I liked in the fashion of the switching on and off of a light effect in a play. Made for a great silliloquay for some character thinking out loud.

 

Given that I am prone to my meandering thoughts on occasion, forgive me in indulging in some subjective reflections this poem brought to light and some interesting questions and proposed answers. Would love to hear other people's thoughts on them too...

 

"There is no reason for LIFE"

other than life itself

 

"Life is unneccesary to existence"

Not sure what you mean here.

 

"Then again; What is life..; Does the unobserved exist?"

What is life? Love that question! I think the only explanations possible are not all encompassing answers. The answers for me are subjective. Each person may hold a different view on what life is for them, what it means to them and why they in fact exist. I can only believe that having a set answer for yourself that makes you happy (even if it seems limited) is the truth of what life is because it classifies how you live your life, what your perona is etc..

 

Does the unobserved exist? Nope. Well if you look at it from a subjective view point. Nothing exists outside me tiny little world and I am nice and happy hiding under my blankie /o\

 

and to quote Al John(l?)son replying to your second piece (also much enjoyed the reflection of moods through weather - i like those ones!

 

Though April showers,

may come your way,

they bring the flowers,

that bloom in May!

 

So when its raining,

Have no regrets,

because you know it is'nt raining rain,

you know its raining violets!

 

And when you see clouds,

Upon the hill,

You'll soon be seeing crowds...

of daffodils!

 

So when its raining,

have no regrets,

because you know it isn't raining rain,

you know its raining violets.

 

Its been 16 years since I learned that song, and I'm sure I have forgotten more than 70% of it!!! Hope you enjoyed ~ good to see you still posting hun *hugs*

 

Parm.

[Appy]

 

 

Big even

 

 

 

 

*hugs*

 

 

Had to look up the word silliloquay and that way found out that it's spelled soliloquy and even what it means too... *beams* thank you for your words on my first poem... I'm still not sure what to think about that one... it seems unfinished.

 

And don't worry, I don't know either what I meant with "Life is unnecesary to existence"

I might/will try to find out one day thought

 

 

On the second poem... I wish it WAS raining! *frustrated look*

 

It's more about the gloomy overcast and Nothing at ALL happening outside.. not about rainy days, at least those make me feel good about being warm inside or going out anyways, even though it's raining... but this grey overcast makes me feel empty, as if live stopped...

 

Loved your little song, thanks for putting that down *hugs*

 

You come into chat more ya hear? And not just to play AM, we have a lot of things to discuss still

[Parmenion]

I will try to drop by more

[Beautiful Nightmare]

ok i didnt quiet get the first poem till after i read my brothers reply but now i do get it its kinda cool i like the way you put your words ok that sounds really weird but i dunno something bout the way your sentances are and so forth i dunno it just makes the poem ok ill shut up *hugs* there great!

[Ozymandias]

Realisation puts me in mind of Lt. Commander Data pondering existence in his private thoughts. Neat, NEAT stream of consciousness work.

 

Spring is almost lyrical, and I am huge sucker for uplifting stuff that's well written. :>)

Dreary, bleak weater days do suck mightily.

 

...and mad props to Parm for a fine Al Jolson song.

[Wyvern]

Appy,

 

I thought that "Realisation" was a very interesting poem, and that the concept of incorporating scripting as part of the poem was particularly intriguing. The approach to the poem was very original, and immediatly caught my attention, which was held the whole way through it. I think that the poem could be made even better, however, if you expanded upon it and built upon the foundation that you've set up here. As it stands, I think that the philosophical lines presented for the different codings, while not wrong by any means, are somewhat plain and uninteresting. Perhaps if you took stanzas such as "There is no reason for LIFE" and "Life is unneccesary to existence" and expanded upon them by adding in some imagery or emotions relevent to the themes, the poem could become even more interesting.

 

I also liked the poem "Spring," particularly the line that describes the narrator as being "no thunderbird nor pheonix," which were two very original images that stood out to me. There was one line which felt a bit awkward to me in the poem, which was "being down with the weather," as I didn't quite understand what that line referred to in the context of the other lines of the poem.

 

Overall, these are two very nice works. I definitely encourage you to expand upon "Realisation," as I'm eager to see the results it might bring...

[Yuki Kokoro]

I really really liked Realization. I found the command/explanations very creative and they contributed a lot to the poem. It turned the tone into something like a computer analyzing life, the very brief concise observations and questions added to this impression.

 

I also loved the concept of this passage:

[switch]

Wait, no more, screw this pattern of useless blabbing, this persona is too fickle for obvious, already treaded ways...

[reboot]

This idea of including the first part of writing the poem in the poem made the opening very relatable and personal. I think it's always interesting being given a glimpse of the narrative that runs through a character's (or poet's) head. Abandoning one voice and rebooting, starting another, I really liked that idea.

 

I'd also second Wyvern's suggestion, if you have anything else to say on this topic, please elaborate, I'm sure it would be fascinating. What is there is tantalizing because it's obvious that there must be so much underneath.

 

Last thought: "Then again; What is life..; Does the unobserved exist?" Of course they exist to them. However, since they aren't observed they don't exist to us and their existence can't be proved. It's all relative.

 

Very original poem, I enjoyed it.