Savage Dragon Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 (A single bench sits all alone in the center of the stage) (A man walks SR in holding a brown paper bag wearing a jogger’s outfit) (He sits and whistles to himself, trying to make in seem like he’s not waiting for someone, which he is) (Another man walks in SL carrying only a suitcase wearing a suit) (He sits down calmly next to the first man and neither looks at each other) The first man: Hello Douglas Douglas: Hello Thomas (Suddenly a man with wooden bat comes running on SR chasing a duck and swinging periodically) (He stops mid-stage to catch his breath and the duck keeps running) Douglas & Thomas: Hello Thaddeus Thaddeus: Hey guys (Panting) Excuse me will you, I have a duck to catch (Douglas & Thomas both nod. Thaddeus runs off SL swinging the bat wildly) (Douglas & Thomas look at each other and then quickly look away) Thomas: Did you bring the money? (Douglas sets down the suitcase and slides it over to Thomas) (Thomas picks up the suitcase, opens it up, revealing loads of monopoly money) (Thomas mouths a huge “HOLY CRAP” before closing the suitcase and returning to his nonchalant pose) Douglas: Did you bring the bag? (They turn to face each other and Thomas hands over the bag) (Douglas looks into it) Douglas: Alright, Peanut Butter and Jelly, my favorite. (Thomas is about to respond when the duck comes running across stage, entering SL exiting SR) Thomas: Where’s Thaddeus? (Suddenly, Thaddeus come swinging across the stage on a big rope in pursuit of the duck) Thaddeus: Hi ho Silver, ahh (Crashing noises) (Thomas & Douglas look at each other and shrug. They both lay back in comfortable positions) Thomas: So Doug, how’s life been treating you? Doug: (As he eats his sandwich) like a dead cow, Tom Tom: What do you mean? Doug: I’m bored like you wouldn’t believe? Tom: oh, I’d believe it Doug: really Tom: Well, it just so happens that I’m pretty bored myself Doug: Wow, what a coincidence, maybe we should try being bored together Tom: alright (They both sit in silence for a while and Doug finishes his sandwich) Tom: you know I do believe it’s working, I’m still bored (Just then the duck comes from SR and runs up underneath the bench) (Douglas rips his now empty bag so it’s flat and lays it on top of the duck) (Thaddeus walks up with something behind his back that the others can’t see) Thaddeus: Hello Doug, Hello Tom Doug & Tom: Hey, Thaddeus Tom: Whatcha been doing? Thaddeus: oh, you know, just chasing a duck Doug: Lovely weather for it Thaddeus: Have either of you perhaps seen said duck (Duck is slowly moving away from Thaddeus. All three sets of eyes watch as the bag moves for a moment) Doug: No Tom: Not really Thaddeus: oh, ok… well maybe you guys could do me a favor then Doug & Tom: Sure, yea, etc. Thaddeus: Well, first get off the bench Doug & Tom: ok (They get off the bench) Thaddeus: Thanks (He takes out the bat he has behind his back and smashes the bench with it, breaking it in two) (The duck runs off and Thaddeus starts after it but Doug and Tom stop him) Doug: Why do you want to hurt that duck? Thaddeus: He insulted me (Tries to break loose again) Tom: How could a duck insult you? Thaddeus: I heard him, he called me a quack (Tom & Doug look at each other and shrug and let him go) (Thaddeus runs off stage where you can hear him) Thaddeus: I’ve got you now my little furry friend (You hear a swing, it connecting, and a loud quack as the duck goes flying across the stage. Thaddeus comes on stage with his bat that has a few feathers stuck to it) Thaddeus: So anyway what were you guys doing? Doug: Not much, just being bored Tom: Not much else to do Thaddeus: are you telling me that 2 actors, are actually bored, as an actor myself I am disgusted Doug: I’m not just an actor; I’m a playwright too Thaddeus: When’s the last time you wrote a play? Doug: The directors twist every play I write Tom: So why don’t you direct your own? Doug: well… Thaddeus: Then it’s settled the 3 of us will set off on an adventure to write the oddest play ever Doug: but wait it needs someone who isn’t a complete idiot Thaddeus: Hmmmm…. I think I know someone who can help Tom: but wait maybe it shouldn’t stop with 4 people, maybe we should get a different person to write each scene Thaddeus: Hmmmm…. No I don’t think so, that’s just stupid Doug: I don’t even know that many people Thaddeus: come on we have things to do, people to see Tom: Who are we seeing? Thaddeus: Wouldn’t you like to know? (The three start towards the exit when suddenly the duck shows up and says) Duck: QUAAAAAACK (and then it runs off) (Thaddeus starts after it but Doug and Tom pull him away off stage) End of Scene 1
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