Lady_Shade Posted January 17, 2004 Report Posted January 17, 2004 First i would like to say thank you to Peredhil because I probly wouldnt have posted this if it hadent been for your 'should I post' poem. Second I dont have a name for my poem does anyone have any ideas? Anyways here it is Creeping in the darkness Uncertainty hides its brutal face Disguised as truth and logic Taking over the whole of life A flawless guise to undo The hard earned trust The love you have What-ifs pile overhead Hanging over everything Lies aren’t really there Don’t know how to deal How fragile reality seems Unable to give credence Letting the past go Eagerly seizing the future Embarking on the healing path Ready for a companion Longing for love Too much time has passed It took more time than was had All chances linger unresolved Wrestles sleep steals life’s beacon A different kind of darkness befalls No more doubt No more anguish All emotions escape It is quiet now
Yuki Kokoro Posted January 17, 2004 Report Posted January 17, 2004 The last line of stanza 3 seemed to stick out for me, you could maybe call it "Darkness Falls" (though I heard that was a terrible movie) or maybe "Missed Chance for Change"? I liked the half-narrative, half-lyrical qualilty of this poem.
Loki Wyrd Posted January 18, 2004 Report Posted January 18, 2004 It's good you posted it, it's always nice to be able to read another's work. I think I liked the 1st stanza the most, and from it you might be able to draw a title. Personally I don't put much stock in titles, but when all else fails the first line of a poem usually works.
Lady_Shade Posted January 18, 2004 Author Report Posted January 18, 2004 Thankyou guys a lot. I enjoy reading what people have to say about my writing. I think i may just leave it as the first line. Thankyou again Lady Shade
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