Jump to content
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Recommended Posts

Posted

I lie in bed tonight,

Thoughts crashing like waves

Against a broken shore.

 

I imagine the ‘pain’

That you must feel

For having made me angry.

 

I laugh at you

For your dishonesty,

For your blatant truth.

 

And I shudder

At the idea that I care

Enough to be awake.

 

So I try to force tears

To run like the currents

From my soul.

 

My eyes itch with dryness.

I stay awake wondering

How I could let this happen?

 

Then I laugh.

Posted

Once again this style really appeals to me. I should start a fan-club. ^_^

 

This stanza especially rings true: "And I shudder/ At the idea that I care/ Enough to be awake". Just recently I've been going though this same feeling and you capture the conflicting emotions and thoughts very consicely. The justification, the fear, and that guilty hope that they feel horrible for hurting you followed by the painful thought that they might not (which is what I got out of: "I imagine the 'pain' that you must feel for having made me angry").

 

The bitter laughter following the thought "how could I let this happen?" made it that much more powerful and was a good way to answer such a common question. Great job and I look forward to more. ^_^

Posted

This is good; probably my favorite thing that you've written so far.

It's the most polished anyways.

 

For your dishonesty,

For your blatant truth.

Really nice.

×
×
  • Create New...