purple_shadows Posted January 10, 2004 Report Posted January 10, 2004 Her hair, the color of chocolate Her skin like white, ivory silk I wonder how it would be to kiss her crimson lips I could only ever guess I can’t get past this. The way she looks in the sunlight Looking out the window Silently sipping her smoothie And then it is dark But I’m not watching the screen I’m turned in my seat, looking at her The light lends her a glowing halo She is beauty She is light She is everything I’ll never have Because I’m too afraid to reach out and take it.
Yuki Kokoro Posted January 10, 2004 Report Posted January 10, 2004 I liked the ending, even though it is decidedly despondent. It changed the topic in my mind from the oft-used "wanting something out of my reach" and added another layer. You know why it's out of your reach and it's not because you're reaching for something too high, it's because you're too scared to reach at all. I also thought it was surprising that if you hadn't titled it "the date" I wouldn't have figured out that that's what was going on. The distance between these two people seems so great. Nice poem with a good use of imagery an interesting idea. I look forward to seeing more from you.
Peredhil Posted January 10, 2004 Report Posted January 10, 2004 You're braver than I was... I didn't ever ask the one who took my breath away on a date. It's the sort of thing that will haunt you through the years. I'd advise courage - in its worse case, the pain will be immediate and survivable, as opposed to regrets which erode over the years.
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