Loki Wyrd Posted January 8, 2004 Report Posted January 8, 2004 Troubled fingers, typing on… Words that soon will be gone From my mind and from my sight, Knowing that it’s only right. They are empty from neglect, As am I, I suspect. Left alone in the cold, In this harsh, cruel world. Everything is as it should Be-cause only this way it could Be-fore the time had come It was all gone and done. No one can withstand the power of the emoticons - mwuahaha!
Ayshela Posted January 8, 2004 Report Posted January 8, 2004 i lose you on the last stanza, but follow along nodding on the first two. i especially like the first two lines of the second.
Loki Wyrd Posted January 8, 2004 Author Report Posted January 8, 2004 Yeah, sometimes I like to play games with the words I use. Most times people won't even notice, but sometimes I even include hidden messages, etc. within my writings. The last stanza is but a simple little trick I set up, read closely and hopefully you'll be able to see what I'm getting at. If not, that's fine too...it's good you got the first two stanzas.
Ayshela Posted January 9, 2004 Report Posted January 9, 2004 LOL will read it again when i've slept more than two hours and see then.
X-Sabre Posted January 9, 2004 Report Posted January 9, 2004 I know what you did Loki.. Not a bad poem, and I always love starting the next line, with the word that ends the last line. That's a really fun way to do it, and most don't really notice it. Nice job on it btw. Try a bit harder, I'll see if I can find your "hidden messages" *note to self, quit giving Loki those damn shrooms*
Loki Wyrd Posted January 9, 2004 Author Report Posted January 9, 2004 As I am drunk I felt it to be a proper time to respond. It's good that you know what's going on X-Sabre, one of us needs to. Just take some of those 'shrooms you speak of and the hidden messages will appear before you. I use too many damn smileys...
Ayshela Posted January 9, 2004 Report Posted January 9, 2004 *blink* that was what i was supposed to be looking for? that wasn't where i was lost, but then i'm used to lines which wrap from one to another. what caught me was the juxtaposition of "troubled", "empty from neglect" and "everything is as it should be" honestly, i guess, because i'm rather unaccustomed to seeing anyone else voice it, as much as anything, but that may well mean something totally different to you than it does to me.
Loki Wyrd Posted January 10, 2004 Author Report Posted January 10, 2004 Oh...I hadn't realized that was difficult to follow The last stanza was simply a quiet resignation that things happened the way they did, and nothing can be done about that now.
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