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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

*This is a song me and my boyfriend wrote together-my first time writting with anyone*

 

 

So when the hurting begins

And the nightmares start

I remember you

And it warms my heart

Your the closest to heaven

THta i will ever get

And i dont think i truley lived

Until the day we met

 

Can you get me out?

Get me out of this sleepless night

Can you get me out?

Get me out of this normal life

Please get me out.

 

I cant stop thinking

About you

And i have noticed

Just how much

I miss you

I have become so infatuated

With you

I have become so sleepless

Without you

 

Can you get me out?

Get me out of this sleepless night

Can you get me out?

Get me out of this Normal life

Please get me out.

Posted

Ahh, that's sweet.

 

As I read it, I tried to hear the rhythym that was intended, but I'm afraid it's just not the same reading it as hearing it. :(

 

It's still beautiful, no matter what tempo you put to it. Well done!

Posted

This doesn't feel like a poem with two minds. . .it feels like a poem with one mind. Only from having read your other works can I pick out the thread of your contribution, and even then it's not distinct, but part of the whole.

Posted

It was nice. Might I suggest proofreading it, however, as I noticed some easily correctable typos. I've never tried writing anything with someone else, but perhaps I'll have to give it a shot sometime. Keep up the good work. :)

Posted

Great song/poem, a good description of how much joy a love can bring and how not being with that love can make things look darker (that's how I interpret it anyways)

 

I think Brian and Jassette should be happy they got each other and I know they are :)

 

Brian: be nice to my lil' sis or else...... ;)

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