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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Denial.

Hey,

That's

A river

In

Egypt

Isn't

it?

What?

No?

It isn't?

What

Do

You mean

What's

My

Problem?

I

Don't

Have

Any

Problems.

I

Much prefer

To live

In

Denial

Of

Everything.

What?

No,

Dude,

Its not

A river

In

Egypt.

Posted (edited)

*laughs* I enjoyed this, the last sentence was great. ^_^

 

The only thing is that the line organization is distracting; I think it takes away more than it adds. The broken style suits the conversation rhythm, but perhaps not quite so broken. Maybe put lines like, "That's a river in Egypt" and "I don't have any problems" on one line and just break it for natural pauses?

Edited by Yuki Kokoro
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