Vlad Posted December 23, 2003 Report Posted December 23, 2003 (edited) Time; A fleeting part of life. Inevitable; A savior and doombringer. Patient; Yet waiting for no one. It exists. Man made a concept- To which he is a slave. It exists. Made to be a measure- But the units have no base. Faith; It lies as it flies. Spectral; The best and worst in all. Unexplained; But people still believe. It exists. Man made a concept- To which he is a slave. It exists. Made to be a measure- But the units have no base. Edited December 24, 2003 by Vlad
Vlad Posted December 23, 2003 Author Report Posted December 23, 2003 15 minutes A speck of us, Is lost in dust. While cold winds may blow, And time may pass- Time will forever show, That the winds will pass. Being here; And everywhere- Means that I am Nowhere at once. But it is crystal clear That there is no one to care. A young little lamb Falls victim to trance. And everyone, of us men Soon becomes - that which has been.
X-Sabre Posted December 24, 2003 Report Posted December 24, 2003 Nice, wish I understood more about verse and such to really critique it.. But, maybe I'll learn something once in a while.. Who knows, it's possible!
Yuki Kokoro Posted December 26, 2003 Report Posted December 26, 2003 (edited) I really liked the parallels you drew in the first post about time and faith. Two man-made concepts that both serve and bring suffering. In the second post I liked each seperate image: wind, the lamb, and especially the being "nowhere at once", but I had a hard time tying it all together. I eventually got it though... I think... Edited December 26, 2003 by Yuki Kokoro
Jade Posted December 26, 2003 Report Posted December 26, 2003 I like that. A lot. And everyone, of us men Soon becomes - that which has been. Very evocative, and ties back to the beginning well. I do not like the phrase 'crystal clear' it's too much of a cliche.
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