Walk Away

[Alaeha]

The third line of this poem popped into my head while I was trying to take a nap. *Growls* I resent having my sleep disrupted. Ahh well... It was worth writing.

 

I just wonder if I'll ever show it to the people it addresses.

 

Walk Away

 

The sun that shone from heav'n has turned to gray,

and all its beauty fled beyond my view.

The time has come for me to walk away.

 

I've lost my faith in you. Though you may say

that all is well, the sky retains its blue...

The sun that shone from heav'n has turned to gray.

 

The rope that held us close began to fray

so long ago... You know that I speak true.

The time has come for me to walk away.

 

The price has grown, I fear, too steep to pay,

and though I've fought to keep a brighter hue,

the sun that shone from heav'n has turned to gray.

 

I know that you won't miss me, in a day;

my place was filled before I even knew.

The time has come for me to walk away.

 

You've never known the marble from the clay,

and now your time is up, the rope worn through.

The sun that shone from heav'n has turned to gray.

The time has come for me to walk away.

[Yuki Kokoro]

"You've never known the marble from the clay".... that's really cool. The image is so... crisp. Cool polished marble to sticky unmolded clay... Anyway-

 

Nice job dealing with what I consider to be a difficult structure, you managed to keep up a rhythm and a coherent progression of this idea. The last stanza was a good finishing statement with the tie back to the rope beginning to fray that is now worn through. And, of course, that oh-so-spiffy first line.

[Vlad]

I like this.

I had the title song from "Kill Bill" playing in the background when I read this, and it went well with that tune.

 

Bang-bang. He shot me down...