Choices

[Elwen]

Choices

 

Midori Shinnite never fully appreciated the meaning of destiny before. Not the bitter taste the strange syllables of the English word left in her mouth, on her tongue, as she spoke them. Three simple, short syllables.

 

But oh, how much they meant, a world and more of pain. Destiny had taken so much from her and those she knew, too much. The chance to live normal lives…hell, if she were to be honest, the chance to *live* at all.

 

The dark-haired woman picked up her glass and drained the pale liquid inside it in a single gulp. Her hands not yet starting to shake, she reached for the bottle nearby and filled the glass again. Once again, she tossed down the alcohol like water.

 

Sake wouldn’t help her forget. It could only take the edge off her pain-for how long? An hour? Two hours? A night? The memories would be back again, in the morning. And with her luck, the hangover of the millennium.

 

But for Shinnite, a night was all she needed. It would all be over in the morning, anyway.

 

If she sat oh-so-still, and *listened*, she could hear, ever so faintly, both in her ears and the back of her mind, the sound of all New York City celebrating.

 

It was New Year’s Eve, tonight. December 31st, 1999. The whole world was poised on the passing of one age and the beginning of another.

 

But most didn’t know that the whole world was also poised between the candle and the star, between the light and the darkness: that the next day, the first day of the new millennium, would bring either their salvation or their destruction.

 

Shinnite sobbed once, her soft alto voice a long drawn-out note of broken crystal, as she flung the glass she had been drinking out of against the wall. The shards of broken glass fell without another sound into the sink.

 

It had all been coming down to this. Her whole life: she’d spent six years running all over the world, but she couldn’t escape her destiny in the end. To choose: would she save humanity or would she destroy it?

 

Shinnite took a long swallow of the rice wine, and put the bottle down.

 

“And did I make the right choice?” Shinnite asked the empty kitchen, her voice slightly slurred.

 

If she had chosen the other way, Cole wouldn’t have been forced into the role of the destroyer, his personality completely erased. The laughing, kind young man she had become friends with wouldn’t have turned into a cruel, cold-but-apathetic man responsible for God knows how many deaths?

 

And Mordekai…he wouldn’t have had to lose his twin, have to fight against him now. He wouldn’t have to live with the knowledge that both Shinnite and Cole would not live after tomorrow. Whatever outcome came about-one of them would live, and the other would die.

 

How many had died, over the past year?

 

Too many.

 

The earthquakes, that came from the destruction of the barriers that her Children of Heaven had been unable to protect, that she herself had been unable to save: how many had died in them, not knowing that their deaths had been caused by something other than a freak accident?

 

And Shinnite couldn’t forget…that there were only two others in the apartment, two of the six who had once shared her apartment with her. There had once been seven Children of Heaven, seven Seals of Protection, as there had once been seven Children of Earth, seven Angels of Death.

 

Of the four who were now gone, two had been killed by Cole’s own hands.

 

And Tiller…she couldn’t ever forget Tiller, the vampire who had been killed in Cole’s initial awakening as her opposite. That made three, plus two more…that made five.

 

She would have lifted her glass (except that she now had no glass, having thrown it against the wall in a sparkling shower of glimmering shards) in a silent toast of remembrance to her fallen friends, but as she had no glass, lifted the bottle instead.

 

Tiller. Shinnite still woke up screaming sometimes, remembering the horrible moment when she had finally made her choice. When Cole had gone mad…when the whole damn world had gone insane. She remembered being pinned against the wall with glass in her hands, as she screamed and screamed, unable to even *call* her powers against the dark being who wore her friend’s face.

 

Still remembered Tiller, strung up like a martyr on a garrote wire cross in a sick parody of the Crucifixion, wooden stake driven through his heart. Remembered as Cole had simply left her there…and mercifully, she blacked out then.

 

She couldn’t tell the police anything. She…couldn’t. It was obvious she hadn’t done it, considering they found her still pinned to the wall by glass shards and it had been her screaming that had finally prompted a neighbor to call the police, but when they still couldn’t get anything out of her, the case was finally closed. “Poor girl…her mind must have been in shock, to see her friend killed like that. She just doesn’t want to remember.”

 

It was then the battle had begun, as Seals and Angels had gathered in New York City. Shinnite became friends with the other Seals…cared about them.

 

But then…they died. Passed beyond the veil forever.

 

Evendele Evenstar. A gentle, soft-spoken healer with powers beyond compare, he could bring a newly dead person back from beyond the veil. But he could not heal himself…and he could not leave a person to suffer. A curse of his unique Empathy.

 

He had met the Angel Dreamer, Kris Valete, in a Dreamscape, feeling his years-old pain, amplified by the nine years that had passed since the only one who had ever cared for him had died, and been drawn into the seer’s vision. And somehow, through those secret meetings, had fallen in love with him, though they were supposed to be enemies. Kris had finally chosen to betray the Angels and come with ‘Ven…

 

But they were betrayed. Cole somehow found out about Kris’s escape and where he had gone, and had gone after him. Furious, the Shadowed One had tried to kill his traitorous Dreamgazer-but Evendele took the death spell instead, fulfilling the prophecy of his birth: “He will live for the One, but die for the one he loves.” Kris refused to go back, and (vindictively!) willed himself into a coma once more. Only a Dreamgazer who had suffered as Kris had would choose to get revenge through the total renouncement of the world, and the denial of the knowledge he had Seen in his visions.

 

Shinnite smiled bitterly, through her tears. The Shadowed One couldn’t even leave Kris alone, to mourn for the death of the only other one he ever loved…Cole forced Kris out of his self-willed coma again, the same way he had in the beginning, and it was her fault. Kris had chosen to pass a message on to her, and in order to bring her into his Dreamscape, had to weaken the walls-allowing Cole a chance to get in. There would never be any peace for Kris.

 

Kris wasn’t dead…but she drank a toast for him anyway. He had never gotten a chance to truly live…Etai, her own beloved’s brother, had been his first chance…and Evendele had been the miracle second. Despite what the saying said, there would be no third lucky time. Kris would die without ever having truly lived.

 

The next to die was not long in coming. Suurelindo, the winged Storm Adept. Shinnite had honestly liked him: a bit clumsy, but he had given her an excuse to get rid of some ugly stuff she had hated for years. After all, if it was shattered beyond repair, even someone with her powers couldn’t put it back together. He had been the peacemaker after ‘Ven’s death, managing to calm down even the temperamental Aya.

 

But Victoria had sent him to the Empire State Building, to protect the barrier there. Morwen, the Lady of the Darkness, had been the Angel sent to destroy it. She acted first, by summoning the Black Wind-and Suurelindo’s counterspell, of an equal-strength but non-evil wind, had unforeseen consequences. When the two spells mixed, they produced a windstorm of massive strength-

 

Strong enough to blow both Adepts from the building. If Suurelindo had been able to use his wings, he would have been able to save himself, as Morwen was lacking wings and unable to fly. Unfortunately, she grabbed him and had an equal hold on both of his wings, and brought him down with her. While the barrier had been saved-both opponents died.

 

Shinnite drank a toast to honor Morwen’s memory as well. Even though she hadn’t liked the black-haired, overly sensual Dark Adept-anyone who would toy with a child by killing small children in front of him every time he answered an open-ended question “wrong was sick and twisted-she had still been human. And she had still deserved to live, if only a little, because all human life was precious. And…if she had chosen differently, she, not Cole, would have worked with Morwen. Probably given her that order to mess with Zad, too. It wasn’t right of her to judge…not when she knew her own dark side.

 

Aya. The fiery priestess of the Grand Shrine of Ise with a temper as red as her ruby hair, the hidden maiden and high priestess, had known of the price she would always have to pay. Every Hidden Priestess, granted access to the complete spiritual power of the shrine, had a vision upon her ascension to the office, of the time and place of her death. Aya had known she would die…but had told no one. Victoria, their Dreamgazer, had sent her on her last journey…knowing as well. She had given a book to Linden before she left, in which she had written that she knew she was going to die.

 

None of the other Seals had wanted to accept that. ‘Ven’s death and Suurelindo’s were already too late to prevent, but Aya, Shinnite and the others wanted to save Aya if they could…but it was too late. Aya had already faced the eerie Angel, Mireille, and her animated army of toy soldiers, with nothing but her formidable spiritual energy. She hadn’t even taken her katana with her. All she had was her power…and the knowledge of a spell so dark that few used it. A spell that would inflict any wounds that the caster received onto the ones who caused them…because it would not heal those wounds, it was only really good for an extended battle *or* a suicide mission.

 

Not knowing what manner of spell Aya had set into motion, Mireille ordered her toy soldiers to fire. It would be their doom. The Seals arrived too late…and only Evendele could have saved Aya, brought her back from the cold embrace of death. But he was dead already, and all they could do was watch as she and her opponent died, and put chrysanthemums on her grave, for fall had come.

 

Shinnite drank a toast to Mireille, too. Enemy or not, everyone needed someone to remember them after they were gone. No one deserved to be forgotten. And Mireille…admittedly, according to Keye via Bo, the woman had been creepy as all hell, lavishing lots of love on the toys that she brought to life through her talent, her “children”-but she wasn’t as evil and twisted as some of the Angels were. She was just…sinister.

 

With surprise, Shinnite noticed that the bottle was already only half-full…and it had been full when she had started. Mentally shrugging, she continued on with her task of getting dead drunk.

 

It had been quiet for a while, after Aya’s death. Both sides knew how little time they had left…it was kind of an Indian summer, really. All of November- for Aya had died on Samhain, All Hallows’ Eve, the night when the veil between the worlds was thinnest, the Day of the Dead when the ghosts walked-, both sides bided their time. And, as odd as the idea was for the sides involved in the apocalypse, they went out and had fun.

 

Why not? When you know you’re going to die in a month, you might as well take a hold of happiness with both hands. Touch heaven or you’ll regret it forever.

 

The only time Shinnite ever truly touched happiness.

 

Linden. The Sumeragi clan head had been aloof with her-though Shinnite had made it quite clear how she felt about him-, as he was with everyone else…but then, one dark, rainy night the month before ‘Ven’s death, everything came out. The same night that Glen Stuart died-Shinnite took a tiny sip of sake. After all, while he had been human and deserved a little remembrance, he didn’t deserve much, and even *Shinnite* thought this-, and passed his own office of death and madness to his killer-Linden. That night, Shinnite got the whole twisted story, of the eighteen-year dance of death, darkness, and insanity between those two, from a long-ago meeting of a child and a teenager beneath an ethereal cherry tree, fed on blood and tears. Of Linden’s own love for her, but his own belief that it could never be. For her sake, it would be better that she find someone else. And that same night, Linden left.

 

//I will not betray you by becoming a Child of Earth…but I can no longer remain a child of Heaven.//

 

Shinnite sobbed harshly, remembering.

 

// It was a dream, Shinnite. A beautiful dream…but it was a dream nonetheless.//

 

He had turned away and left her there, that beautiful man with his mismatched miko’s eyes, blue and green. The man who held magic’s own balance within him, darkness and light, death and life. The man who she had given her heart to, but who felt that she deserved someone better. Shouldn’t be tied to a man whose hands were soaked in blood-overlooking the fact that she was not precisely the innocent, either.

 

//Sayonara, kiboo no hoshi.//

 

But he came back, finally realizing where his heart lay, and where his destiny belonged. Simply walked back into her life. And the pieces fell into place…

 

It was a golden time…and Shinnite grew to believe she could be happy. Even though both of them knew they could not marry…because there was no time. Not yet. Not until everything was all over with. Linden’s grandmother came from Kyoto for a visit…and gave them her blessing. Though she asked-rather bluntly-when he would marry Shinnite, “make an honest woman of her”, all three of them knew that the two couldn’t marry. Not until after the Last Battle, for there was no guarantee that either of them would survive-Linden didn’t want to give Shinnite the gift of widow’s black for a wedding present, and if Shinnite died on the Last Day, then everything would be over.

 

Shinnite profoundly wished that she had dragged Linden to the altar. Be damned…at least she would have been a married woman, even if for only a short time.

 

/And now there will never be time./ Shinnite thought, laying her hand against her flat stomach, where no life stirred, where no life would ever stir. /And I will never have a family. Never. Even if I was pregnant with Linden’s child, there would be no time./

 

And Cole realized his rival’s happiness as well. And used it against her…while the two were out on a walk, less than a week ago, he attacked them. Shinnite had been his target.

 

Why? Why had Cole grown bored, and decided that he would try to kill her before the Promised Day? Was he that eager to end the world?

 

But Linden…she still remembered seeing him slide out of shadow, in front of the psychic blast that would have killed her. He had used his Shadow magic-a talent that he used far less than ‘jitsu-to get to her in time. To save her life, if not his.

 

Every terrible moment was still etched into her mind, and would be as long as she continued to live. As Linden crumpled to the ground like a broken doll, light fading from his once-bright eyes.

 

//Shinnite…my star of hope…the people you have lost…and the dreams that have faded…they will live on in your heart…as long as you remember.//

 

Something in her had died as well, the moment her love died as well.

 

Kris’s dream-sent warning to Mordekai had come too late. The other Seals had come, only to find her kneeling covered in Linden’s blood, cradling his lifeless body in her arms, as she called the fires of heaven down. Only realizing that Cole had fled-trying to save his own skin before Shinnite’s summoning burned him alive-stopped her summoning, though she had accidentally almost killed Mordekai-through tear-stained eyes, he looked exactly like his brother. The twins were identical, except for the goatee that Mordekai sported, which wasn’t good for Shinnite.

 

That had been a week ago, on the night of the Savior’s birth. Christmas, the night of hope and the salvation of man.

 

/Merry Christmas./ Shinnite thought sarcastically, draining the rest of the bottle at a gulp. She fumbled around for another bottle, but couldn’t find where she had put it. /Supposed to be the night of hope and all. Praising God for the salvation he finally gave us. Well, it looks like humanity’s salvation is in *my* hands. And God just had to take the one thing that made my life worth it from me./

 

Shinnite laid her head on the cheap Formica countertop, and sobbed. Consuming the entire bottle of alcohol had done nothing to take the edge off her pain: the faces of all the dead still haunted her.

 

“Hey.” The soft voice came from beside her. Shinnite looked up to find Bo standing there. The small man slid onto a stool next to her.

 

“Hi, Bo.” Shinnite said dully, glad to hear that her words didn’t slur as badly as she expected. Bo gave her a sharp look.

 

“Have you been drinking again?” he asked, and without waiting for her to answer, picked up the bottle and weighed it. “The whole thing?”

 

“Hai.” Shinnite muttered.

 

“Shinni, this isn’t good for you.” Bo said.

 

“My current *job* isn’t good for me, either, but you don’t see me changing it!” Shinnite flared up at him, her amethyst eyes flashing. A moment later, she sighed. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, Shinnite.” Bo said, and sat down next to her. “A whole bottle, and you can still talk coherently? What an alcohol tolerance!”

 

Shinnite smiled weakly. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

 

“Everything does.” Bo said with a smile, and waved his hand. Abruptly, he was serious again. “Keye came to see me today.”

 

Shinnite already knew what Keye had said to him. After all, the Technomancer was best friends with Kris. What a pair of disaffected Angels if she’d ever seen one.

 

“He and Kris are both…”

 

“Very sorry for what happened.” Shinnite said sardonically, and felt bad a moment later. Keye had been a good friend to her, and Kris risked Cole’s wrath pretty much daily by feeding her that information. They had both been through a lot, and both of them understood.

 

“Yeah.” Bo agreed.

 

“I need another drink.” Shinnite tried to reach across the countertop again, but Bo grabbed her hand.

 

“You’ve had quite enough already. Alcohol won’t help the pain.” Bo said intensely, staring into her eyes.

 

“Then what will?” Shinnite asked. “Time? I don’t have enough time.”

 

“Need a shoulder?” Bo offered quietly, holding his arms out to her. Shinnite took the invitation, and sobbed into his shoulder like a small child. He let her.

 

“I don’t just need a shoulder, Bo. I need them back. I want Tiller back, and Evendele back, and Aya, and Suurelindo, and Linden…I want them all back!” Shinnite whispered in between sobs.

 

“I know.” The Austrian said gently.

 

“But I know they won’t be coming back…that I won’t ever see them again.” Shinnite said bitterly.

 

“Yes, you will. One way or another.” Bo said, and let her cry herself out.

 

“Bo…if you could make the choice again, knowing what you know now-would you take the job that Akiko offered? Would you find me, knowing what would happen once you did?” Shinnite asked.

 

“Shinnite. Everything would have happened, either way. I’m just glad that I knew you.” Bo said, and winked. “Even if you make horrible cookies and can’t cook.”

 

He was trying to make her laugh, and it worked, the ethereal sound echoing in the empty room for all too short of a moment.

 

“You guys always ate them!” Shinnite accused him.

 

“Nope. The time Linden’s grandmother came to visit? Aya stole them and tossed them out the window.” Bo said mischievously.

 

“Why am I not surprised.” Shinnite said, rolling her eyes.

 

“Shinnite-“ Bo began, and heard the bell tolling outside.

 

“It’s midnight. New Years’ Day.” Shinnite said dully.

 

“Shinnite-“

 

“Today, everything will be decided.”

 

“Shinnite!”

 

If there had been choices before, there were now none. Destiny was calling, and she would not be denied.

~Owari~

[Damon Inferel]

Scary, I read the whole thing in less than an hour. My reading speed is getting better.

 

You know, in a very off-topic way, this story sounds a lot like an alternative to Y2K, something that would effectively destroy the world, but nobody knew what was doing it. But, I don't think that was what was going on, or was it? I don't know.

 

There were a great number of characters in this, both alive and dead... more the latter as it seemed, and you did an excellent job of portraying memories in such vivid and yet not too realistic detail. Memories are usually brief flashes of images and short phrases to be remembered, not a graphic novel, and you did very well with the compilation of this.

 

The story, it seems to be on the grander scheme of things, somethign that this is only a small part of, but I've come to notice that you never write the WHOLE thing at once. That's fine, it keeps me anticipating. I, of course, recognized some of the characters, and there were some new ones as well I noticed. I was kind of surprised I didn't get lost in the obituary with all of the names, and as such I found it easy to keep track. Dead people don't need too much of an intoduction I suppose...

 

I've never actually been drunk, but that seemed interesting too. I don't know in what way though. Perhaps it was because her drunkeness was the supposed solution to giving her a little ease, and it didn't work. Futility of alcohol. Meh, I don't know. It's only like ten in the morning.

 

Overall, this is very good, as is most everything you write. (The only one in questionability was the one with several instances of vulgarity, but even that wasn't too bad.) I really do think that you'll go places with this talent. Hn... maybe I'll become a publisher, and then your stuff will get published if you want it to no matter what! MWAHAHAHA!

 

Well, a good story all in all. Keep up the good work ashke. Ai shiteru itoshii. Ja ne.