DoomGaze Posted November 24, 2003 Report Posted November 24, 2003 (edited) Sweet Darkness ================= A silent breeze swept through the mist, And it knocked gently upon my door. An eerie voice planted on me, a kiss, None of which I felt before. The door opened, she was standing there, Sweet Darkness, looking at me. My eyes turned away for I could not bare, As it was a sight I was not meant to see. She softly spoke words into my ear. "Fear not me, for I am just a guide. Worry not, you have nothing to fear But the choice your about to decide." Nodding my head I took her hand, Sweet Darkness, standing beside me. My vision blurred, now seeing grains of sand, As the reality I knew was not meant to be. Awaken into a world not of my own, Embraced by the darkness and solitude. I felt the strange comfort of being alone, It was like a Hell I chose not to elude. Thinking in silence, I close my eyes, Sweet Darkness, within me she'll be. To see past all the truths, all the lies, As everything was oh so clear to me. Edited November 27, 2003 by DoomGaze
HopperWolf Posted November 25, 2003 Report Posted November 25, 2003 I like the imagery presented here, though I find the rhythem a little bit cumbersome. perhaps a more consistant metre would be more appropriate. Mind you, this is pure bias on my part, I've been reading too much 18th century stuffage. all ten beat rhyming couplets and stuff. The theme itself is well presented. a good piece by all accounts
DarkPainInside Posted November 26, 2003 Report Posted November 26, 2003 god damn! this poem is so good! I'm jealous! lol good work!
Zariah Posted November 26, 2003 Report Posted November 26, 2003 This reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe....I like the poem, and the rhyme scheme and the rythm, and the imagery, and the personification....and....well....just everything, Doomgaze! I am so PROUD of you and quite IMPRESSED!
Beautiful Nightmare Posted November 26, 2003 Report Posted November 26, 2003 Omg such a great poem, such great imagery! Im really jealous of your ability to write wow your my god now! hehehe sorry just this poem kicks ass!!
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