Illianna Wolfsong Posted November 7, 2003 Report Posted November 7, 2003 I've not seen you for 16 years. I'm still angry at you though. I think I reserve the right to be angry at you for all of eternity. How dare you? Why did you single me out? Why couldn't you treat me with the same disreguard as you offered to the rest of the world? Did it ever occur to you that in telling me how much you loved me... in telling me I was your angel... in thanking me for all I gave to you and all of the support... that you set me up in a position to stand on some lonely, isolated, freakish pedistal with no way down and no company to bury my face into? You were always different. When I was 6, you gave me a BB gun for Christmas. I thought mom was going to ban you from the house or any visit to the house for all of eternity for that. Did you know I loved you for that? I never did like dolls and tea sets. You gave me something to change them from dust collectors into range targets and suddenly they were fun. I don't think I ever told you that. That's another thing I'm angry about. I never told you a lot of things. You didn't give me that chance. Most of all, I'm angry that you didn't give me the opportunity to say goodbye. Neither did they. My goodbye wasn't even to you. I got to hold your glasses and say goodbye to blood stains on the concrete where they had cut out the carpet beneath where your head had been. How dare you? I hope you found what you needed. I hope you found peace away from this world. It isn't a better place for your absence though... neither am I. I was your comfort, your strength, your shoulder. You walked away and left me to look for my own shoulder to drench. My oldest son looks a lot like you. He never got to know his uncle. Do you really think that's fair? How dare you?
Peredhil Posted November 7, 2003 Report Posted November 7, 2003 Hugs I can only speak from the impact on my life, but it seems that suicide hurts those who love the victim the most... And impacts the selfish or uncaring as much as putting a finger into a pail of water and removing it. A terrible terrible waste... (Well written and brought up some serious memories.)
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