Falcon2001 Posted October 30, 2003 Report Posted October 30, 2003 I posted this at the forums for the local anime club, which I used to be president of, and it's a more high-school crowd, but it's still a weird, but nice, piece of ramble and I figured I'd share it with all of you.' Every once in a while I decide to completely ignore that voice in my head that screams 'Go to sleep NOW!' along with the voices from across the hall and from Trillian and just think for a second and let it all sink in. To bring some of you up to speed, here's a quicky timeline of my life. June, '03 - I was perfectly happy with my life. I had a beautiful girlfriend, my friends were awesome, I was leader of anime club, and everyone at school knew who I was. I had pants nobody else in the world had, and the audacity and style to wear them anyway. I had charisma, charm, and was on top of the school. I was in heaven. But nothing gold can stay. Last day of school - I realize that I can't graduate on time, and fear settles in cozily in the pit of my stomach. I sign up for internet summer school in order to make up 1 of the 11 credits I needed to do my senior year of high school. For those of you who aren't aware, a normal school year contains 6 credits. I was approximately 10 classes behind. July '03 - I work all July at an R.V. park belonging to Courtney (Akieryn)'s mother, who was gracious enough to hire me. I hacked weeds, killed brambles, got money and a computer and spent it recklessly, living up what will probably turn out to be my last summer break living down at the RV park and working. School is tough and I flag for a while. July 15 '03 - A water main bursts at the park and I spend 8 hours on my knees in runny mud digging with whatever I can - hands, shovel, bucket, anything to get to the leak. I go back to my trailer exhausted and give up on school and graduating on time. July 18 '03 - After spending three days being depressed over my girlfriend who wasn't calling or coming down to see me, I finally realized that if I gave up I might as well die, because I wasn't going to be of much use if I fell now. In that instant, my life changed forever. July 20ish '03 - Me and Rachel break up, signaling the true end of one life and the beginning of the next. August '03 - After three weeks of planning and thought, I move out of my house to go to Mariner High School, living at Khav's house and changing my entire life plans. I set up my schedule and start working at it. September '03 - I start school. My confidence is shot, I have no friends, my girlfriend and I are no more, I hide my tacky pants for fear of looking even dumber than I already must look, I've left Anime Club, I don't see most of my friends at all aside from a close circle that congregates at Khav's house. My charisma is gone, my charm left me for a cuter guy, and the only way I could claim to be on top of the school is if I crawled up there through a ventilation shaft. My life is at this point in time about as bad as it's been in years. But my report card comes back A A B A B D, signaling the best report card since fourth grade. October '03 - I go to a college fair and talk to a representative from DeVry University and set up a personal interview as almost a joke. My 1.41 GPA wasn't letting me go anywhere. Later that month, the interview occured and they accepted me under the condition that I keep my grades up and pass the SATs with a 1100 or better. I was astounded, to say the least. October 29 '03 - I sit at my computer typing randomly, letting it all soak in. You think that high school is such a big thing when you're there, but eventually it hits you how much bigger the real world is. Leaving behind everything I loved taught me that more than anything else in the world. 2 2/3 years after high school I'll be out of DeVry with my Bachelors Degree in Network Administration and Security, and I'm almost assured of making $40k a year right out of there. The idea boggles my mind. I'll be taking out $50,000+ in student loans just to pay for this, and that's more money than I've ever really thought of seriously. After that, I'll probably never see any of my friends from high school again. *Listening to FLCL OST 2 - Track#1 - Crazy Sunshine* I love this song. It's sad in a happy way almost. It's the feeling I get when I think about my life and where it's going now. A feeling like I want to cry, but I can't help but smile. I don't even know what I'm going on about anymore, and tomorrow is rapidly approaching...but I guess I'm here to tell everyone that high school isn't an end, it's just the beginning. I'll start taking night school classes soon, and that's going to be even more of a workload than it is right now, but that can't be helped if I'm going to graduate on time. I dare you all to do something you'd never do. Try something you wouldn't normally try, and make the world different. Eat chocolate instead of vanilla. Talk to that quiet kid in the corner of class. Make friends with the new kid - trust me on this one. Work a little harder at being nicer to your teachers, and they'll like you back. Watch anime you thought you hated, and then think about why you didn't like it. Play video games you beat long ago - refuse to fall into a rut. Just do it and tell me about it in this thread if anyone's brave enough. Other than that, just post responses to this and what you really think. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight.
Peredhil Posted October 30, 2003 Report Posted October 30, 2003 Isn't it amazing how different life becomes when fears become something exhilarating to try...to attack, instead of something from which to run? I'm proud of you for not using life as an excuse to fail, but instead continuing to try. The person too stubborn to give up, no matter how many times they fail, is usually life's winner in the long run. Hugs You know... DeVry is a hop, skip, and a Metro from Ozymandias, Wyvern, Nyyark, Zariah, myself, and a number of other Penners... Oh, life lesson number 31: Act confident no matter how you feel inside. Not arrogant - arrogance hides fear and forces attacks to maintain power or security. Confidence allows others to be them - but insists you are worthy too. If you act confident, then you're more likely to be worthy, because it frees your mind to deal with situations, instead of your inner turmoil. And then it won't be an act. -Peredhil the eternally Parental
Ayshela Posted October 30, 2003 Report Posted October 30, 2003 *nod* GOOD for you.. for trying anyway, for looking around and seeing what's out here, for daring to move beyond. It's HARD to leave everything you love behind, and even harder to admit it was a good move. Even if you can't be proud of yourself, i'm immensely proud of you. And Papa Peredhil has an excellent point, as usual. Even if you can't believe in yourself, act like you do until you can. *huge hugs*
Savannah Posted October 30, 2003 Report Posted October 30, 2003 And I have found that if you act confident long enough-pretty soon you will be. I would only ask a question-have you tried to get a grant or something to help you with your student loans? Not the kind you have to pay to get either. Anyone who tries and has your determination should succeed at what they want.
reverie Posted October 31, 2003 Report Posted October 31, 2003 (edited) good going keeping that chin up guy... Life's what you make it... i've been out of highschool for 6 years now... and I've moved atleast 6 times since then due to the military... ('bout to move again...getting picked up for recruiter duty 'next APR...) Change will challenge you and make you work harder than you ever worked before...in a effort to return to that stable feeling... some times you get back there... so times you stuck in the current with no shores... keep treading water and you'll be alright... Set goals and make plans... even if you don't follow through with them... at least you looking ahead... and that puts you one better than most other's around you... Stay true and good if you can... but realize compromises may have to made along the way... life happens and no one will fault on the premise of survival... Have back up plans... Networking enables the flow of information and energy... do this in life as well as in your job... save 10% (or as close to it as you can manage) of everything you ever make... My heads not exactly it's most lucid self right now... so things are coming out vague... Stress sux... But whatever you end up doing... do it well... revery the dreamlost "the answer is c...(modern folklore)" the dream continues... Edited October 31, 2003 by reverie
Falcon2001 Posted October 31, 2003 Author Report Posted October 31, 2003 (edited) Unfortunately, Peredhil, I'm going to the DeVry University in washington, not on the east coast, or I'd be very excited to see you guys. As it stands I may be able to see you in a couple years if we're still all around by then. *is nervous - asking a girl to come to a party with him today* Edited October 31, 2003 by Falcon2001
Alaeha Posted November 5, 2003 Report Posted November 5, 2003 Just wanted to say that I took your challenge yesterday. While I was at the mall, I tried getting my bubble gum from a different machine (Fruit Cocktail, rather than Sour Power.) The machine ate my quarter without giving me anything. I later that evening decided not to give up, but to give it another chance. I dug another quarter out of my backpack (I was there waiting for my bus home) and looked at the little island of bubble gum dispensers. "Mint might not be so bad." I thought. It took me at least fifteen minutes to get the taste out of my mouth... I guess I'll have to try again some other time...
Falcon2001 Posted November 5, 2003 Author Report Posted November 5, 2003 ;; Maybe not always the best example, but at least you know now that's not a good flavor... *sighs* Bah, it never works out like I want it.
Alaeha Posted November 5, 2003 Report Posted November 5, 2003 Yeah... I just wanted to sort of take a gentle poke at it... we were in danger of having a serious thread in the Cabaret room. *Hugs*
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