A Devilish Treat….or Trick?

[Kalypso]

A Devilish Treat….or Trick?

 

“Greedy little imps, I’ll get at least fifty of them this year” rasps an ageless figure. His oversized, orbicular head balances precariously on his spindly neck, as he finishes the evening preparations. Long, black flowing robes stir up swirls of dust that carpet the floor, while he dabbles around the sparsely, furnished room seeking out various unidentifiable objects. He carefully tosses a multitude of shiny, golden, and rectangular objects into a duffle bag and exits through a creaky wooden door off to the side.

 

Glowing street lamps and scattered jack-o-lanterns light the rain drenched street as merry-masked children parade door to door. The scent of drowned-out fire and soggy autumn leaves infiltrate the air, as bedraggled parents half-heartedly chit-chat to fill the time. Gleeful chimes of “trick or treat,” ring throughout the neighborhood interrupting the steady beat of rainfall. The raw, moist air causes door greeters to crack the entrances just enough to plunge candy bowls through and let the kids grab their own prize. Children happily shout their thanks and run to the next door to welcome more sweet plunder. Despite the weather, the candy collectors prowl the block in hordes. Multicolored monsters, ghastly ghosts, diabolical devils, wrathful witches, amorous angels, mutant martians, eccentric elves, courageous commandos, and an array of animals are all mirthfully marching on this moonless Halloween night to meet the bearers of tasty treats.

 

Golden candy-wrappers littering the dark pavement sparkle brilliantly in the streetlight. A green bodied, blue-haired alien, a camouflaged commando, a princess in powder-blue, a rotund werewolf, and a little pink pony stand in a circular conference, debating on which house to go to next while all but the princess finishes off their chocolate.

 

“We only have an hour left,” whined a plump boy wearing a werewolf mask as a furry helmet. “I want to go to the big blue house on the corner; they always give out orange baggies of candy with yellow bows.”

 

“Stop your whining blubber baby, we still have time,” insisted a tall boy dressed in green and grey camouflage. “Jeesh Gordo, my baby sister whines less than you!”

 

“Well my mom’s already looking at her watch every second. I only have thirty minutes tops! I don’t want to be short changed here!” yelps Gordo.

 

“Yah, like you really need the extra change!” teases the green faced girl in the alien costume as she prods at one of Gordo’s multiple belly rolls with her index finger.

 

The pink pony with yellow pig-tails tugs on the hem of the commando’s jacket. “Wobby, can we go now pwease! I want more candy!” whimpers the dainty girl.

 

“Yeah, let’s go guys.” says Kat, the princess, impatiently. “You already wasted enough time with your candy break. You should have waited till you got home. My mom always says she needs to check what I get.”

 

“Well fine Miss. Prissy Princess, lets go then.” grumbles Robby, the commando. “Come on Tina!” he barks at the pony.

 

“Hey Kat, where’s your sister tonight? I thought she’d be along to walk with Tina?”

 

“Oh, she decided she wanted to go ‘trick or treating’ with my mom. They’re around here somewhere. She’s wearing an angel costume.”

 

The group breaks, and starts walking down the sidewalk to the next house. Kat notices that Tina’s growing a tail and real pink pony ears, Meggy’s hands are turning green and her head’s expanding, Robby’s starting to grow a little taller and more muscular, and tufts of fur are starting to poke through the bottom of Gordo’s pant legs. She freezes in her footsteps, icicles creep up her spine, causing her to shiver.

 

“Hey guys, could you all stop a minute? I have a question to ask you all.”

 

The group, now about ten paces in front of her stops, but none of them turn around. She notices them continuing to morph into what appears to be their chosen costumes. She’s petrified and now wishes she hadn’t asked them to stop. Before she is able to find her voice, she hears ear-shattering screams coming from across the street.

 

She snaps her head around and spots an older brunette woman pulling on what appears to be silvery-blue fins sticking out of the mouth of a gigantic golden lion. The woman is shaking her head and crying, “That’s my daughter! You can’t have her!” The lion gulps down the rest of the little mermaid, and swats the woman across the head with its powerful paw. The woman collapses to the ground unconscious, a thin stream of blood trickling down the side of her pale face.

 

Kat’s eyes are blurred by rivers of tears. She forces herself to look away from the fallen woman and back to her group of friends. Gordo, now a full blown black werewolf, has his mouth around the front of Tina’s long pink neck. Tina’s rearing back wildly, trying to kick Gordo with an ivory hoof. Sharp fangs dig into her velveteen flesh, finally severing her jugular. She dies with crazed terror etched on her once four-year old human face. Gordo slashes across her soft underbelly with the tip of his claw; a crimson flow infiltrates the sidewalk. He kneels in the bloody depths of the puddles, plunges his head into Tina’s innards, and feeds.

 

Kat slaps her hand over her mouth to stifle the vomit, and turns to run. “Zweep… zweep… zweep”a high pitched laser gun screeches. Bright yellow beams buzz by her head, so close her face feels ignited in flames. Bulging, granite-like arms scoop her up and thrust her small body under a sweat saturated armpit. In the other hand the commando, resembling Robby, bears an M-16 assault rifle. He runs backwards, releasing cascades of bullets that are ricocheting everywhere. A couple hit the green, three-eyed abomination with tentacles, that’s sporting several lethal laser guns, the ammo does not slow its pace. One tentacle stretches out and wraps around the commando’s leg, causing him to sprawl backwards onto the ground. Kat goes tumbling out of his arms, lands face down in the street, and fights to refill her lungs with air. The commando pulls out a jagged edged bowie blade and starts slashing at the green tendrils that are starting to wind around his body. Orange ooze pours out of the alien’s wounds, sizzling the commando’s skin on impact. One slithering limb loops around the commando’s neck and slowly starts to squeeze. Gasping for breath he manages to yell, “Run!!!! Get the hell outta here!

 

Kat breaths in deeply, hops to her feet and makes a mad dash towards the nearest house. She slams her fists into the large oak door, yelling and screaming for someone to help. She pauses as the door slowly whines open. Her anguish-filled, aqua eyes stare up at dull-copper, hate-filled eyes.

 

The long legged, bald man scans over the rumpled eight-year old on the doorstep, as he inhales the intoxicating smell of death. The sounds of suffering and chaos creates a symphonic masterpiece of tragedy, the odd man almost feels inspired to dance.

 

“What a glorious night! One of the best I’ve seen in a long time! Did you get all your treats little girl or do you prefer the tricks instead?” asks the wiry man with the bulbous head. “You better run and play, it seems your friends are waiting for you.” he says pointing a boney deformed finger towards a warty ogre and a black-hatted witch trudging their way up the path. “Oh and don’t forget to share some of that delicious, golden-wrapped candy bar the other children seemed to devour so quickly. Quite a yummy find if I say so myself.”

 

Cackling maniacally, the figure in front of the girl starts to fade into the background of the house until all that is left is the evil laughter echoing in Kat’s ears.

 

Kat turns to meet her fate, but instead she is blinded by a glorious white light. She squints here eyes trying to make out the source of the beautiful radiance. She chokes back sobs of happiness, as she soaks in the site of her winged savior. As the angel nears she notices the pure white of her heavenly robes are tarnished with speckles of blood. Instead of joy, the angel’s soft blue eyes are wet with sorrow. Kat recognizes those eyes instantly, and the sad tragedy of the situation plucks at her heart-strings. She recalls her last words to her sister, “I’ll see you later Angie, and you make a beautiful angel.”

 

The angel embraces Kat in her fluttering robes. Kat is overpowered by the solace of heavenly love. She surrenders to her emotions and weeps freely as she feels her body floating up into the air. She feels no cold, no hate, but only lovely warmth. Her body stops ascending and is placed in soft cottony area that gently cradles her small frame. The angel kneels, kisses Kat’s brow, and descends back down through the clouds to duel again with the devil.

 

 

Kalypso

[Kalypso]

I figured I'd toss this back on the pile, since their is only a few hours left of Halloween. If it's that bad, can someone just be honest with me? I did put a bit of effort into it.

 

Thank you for your time,

 

Kalypso

[Gyrfalcon]

I found that it was an interesting story, Kalypso. After reading through it a second time, I found a few things that I consider interesting.

 

1) The devil plants the seeds of his own destruction by giving Kat's sister the same candy as he does the other children, thereby making her an angel.

 

2) There are some apocolyptic themes in there, where the believer (Kat) is taken up to heaven before the battle between her sister and the devil. There are also elements of Ragnorak, in that each person seems to be fighting all others.

 

Overall, I liked your descriptions and writing style. The only thing I'd avoid is the use of a large amount of alliteration in one area.

 

candy collectors prowl the block in hordes. Multicolored monsters, ghastly ghosts, diabolical devils, wrathful witches, amorous angels, mutant martians, eccentric elves, courageous commandos, and an array of animals are all mirthfully marching on this moonless Halloween night to meet the bearers of tasty treats.

 

Like most things, it's good in moderation, not so good in excess.

 

Good going, Kalypso, keep writing.

[Peredhil]

I've always been absolutely a super sucker for absurd alliteration, it's one of my many wobbly weaknesses.

 

but I can see what Gyrfalcon means - there are times it flows,and times it seems forced.

 

I thought the story was very well-crafted. tightly plotted, with an ending worth wading through wounds and guts.

A very nice tribute to the holiday designed to reward greed and fear (trick or treat) with few redeeming values. Nearly 75% of the people who came to my door hadn't even bothered with a costume - they just had open bags waiting to get something.

 

I give out a quarter to each person - it can't be poisoned or sharpened so its far safer, it allows the child the choice of candy, and if everyone did it, they'd end up with five times the net results - which could then be spent foolishly or saved.

'Sides, my Dad was a Children's Dentist who didn't like dispersing candy; he considered it hypocritical.

 

Anyone, one lovely little lady stood and argued with me as to why should have more than one quarter - she wanted it. She was poor and should have it. I was mean because I wouldn't give her more. She didn't care if anyone else received any. Her mother stood and watched, nodding, until I finally said, "still and always 'no'; most of the children say, 'thank you,' instead of 'gimme more'." At that, the mother called her away.

 

I found her emblematic of Halloween in a large city. Given that terse reality, I think I'd've preferred the possible horrors of your story... At least they rewarded those who'd put forth an effort to role-play with one last LARP session...

[Kalypso]

Thank you both for the comments, they help a lot. I have a tendency to go crazy with the alliteration, I'll try to work on it.

 

Kalypso