Too late.

[dragonqueen]

A story of a teenage girl's unexpected suicide. I was depressed and angry, but rarely do the words flow so smoothly from my fingers. I believe I shall consider it a masterpiece.

 

 

“Sara, do you know where Kyra is? I haven’t seen her all day,” Mark Tremoli asked his wife.

“No. She was gone when I woke up and I haven’t seen her since. I’m beginning to get worried,” Sara answered. Her teenage daughter had been a little distant lately, and it made her nervous. Just then, the phone rang. Sara reached over and picked it up.

“Hello, Tremoli residence. Sara speaking.”

“Hey, Mom. It’s Kyra.” Kyra sounded calm and casual over the phone, like she hadn’t been missing the entire day.

“Kyra! Where have you been? Your father and I are starting to get worried!”

“Take a chill pill, Mom. I‘m at the beach.” Kyra soothed her mother.

“Yoan beach? Kyra, why didn’t you write a note, or something? You know you have to tell me if you’re going to the beach!” Mrs. Tremoli was frantic.

“Not Yoan beach. Traisi beach. And I didn’t leave a note for you because this time is different. I wanted to tell you in person.” Kyra explained.

“Tell me what?! Kyra, that is no explanation!” Sara was frightened and unnerved by her daughter’s erratic behavior. Why was she doing this?

“I’m going to jump, Mom. I’m on the cliff at Traisi, and I’m wearing my dark blue dress, you know, the one with silver flowers on the edge. Just wanted to be dressed the best when I die. Listen closely. If you really want to, drag my body up after I’m dead or, just leave it there. If you insist on bringing it up, I wish to be cremated on that same cliff. Got it?”

Kyra’s mother was silent in shock. Then she whispered to her husband, “Mark, you better put her on speakerphone. You’ll want to hear this.” Quietly, Mark rose and pressed the speaker button on the phone. His daughter’s voice flooded the house.

“Mom, are you listening? You had better be, because you can consider this my suicide note.” Kyra told her parents. Mark’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Oh my god,” her father whispered. “Why? Why is she doing this?”

As if she could read his mind, Kyra said, “You probably want to know why I’m doing this, what you’ve done wrong. I’ll tell you what you did. You never appreciated my talents. Never accepted that what I was doing was right for me. Like music. When I ditched classical, you criticized me, even though I knew what I was doing was right. You said I was burning my bridges too soon. You said you were over it, but you weren’t. Don’t think I didn’t get all those little quips. I can read between the lines too. That hurt, Mom, that really hurt. And my art! I loved art, and yet, where did my effort go? Music, other things. My art, my writing, it all went unrecognized. Nobody ever knew I was an artist. It’s all the little things, Mom, the little things that make the difference. And that’s why I’m saying this now. Goodbye. Tell the world goodbye for me. Oh, wait, one last thing. In my room, you’ll find a bookshelf. It’s got glass doors, and it’s white. You’ll see it. In there is all my art and writing. I want you to take the best, and publish it. I’ll be just like Emily Dickinson, unrecognized until after my death. What a splash that’ll make! An anonymous teenager, a writer in secret, committed suicide and left instructions for her work to be published. Nobody knew what a great author she was until it was too late! Anyway, I better be going. I’ll be gone in 30 minutes, Mom. 30 minutes, no less, no more. Goodbye, Mom, Dad. Goodbye, world.”

“Kyra, wait, don’t do this! Talk to us! Maybe we can fix it, go to counseling, make it better!” Sara cried frantically.

“It’s too late, Mom, too late. You should have thought of that a long time ago.” Kyra laughed bitterly at her mother’s efforts to save her life.

“Please, Kyra, just wait for us to get there! We can work this out!” Mrs. Tremoli pleaded desperately.

“I told you, Mom. 30 minutes, no more, no less. Well, see ya. I really do have to get going. Dusk doesn‘t last forever, you know, and this is my chance to make a dramatic exit. Besides, you‘re using up your 30 minutes.”

“Oh my god! Mark, get the car! Kyra, we love you! Please, just wait!” There was a click on the other end, and after a moment, the dial tone. Sara was in tears, unable to believe this was happening to her. She should have known something was wrong, should have talked to Kyra, should have been a better parent. She rushed out to the car.

Mark Tremoli pulled out of the driveway, and floored the gas pedal. He drove recklessly, making horrifyingly sharp turns, but Sara was too distraught to notice. They couldn’t reach the shore soon enough, and Sara leaped out almost before the vehicle stopped. She ran towards the sheer edge hoping desperately that she was not too late. Her husband followed behind her, scanning the horizon for any sign of his daughter. His eyes almost passed over her, then flickered back. She was silhouetted against the setting sun, her dark hair blowing in the wind. Mark ran towards her, calling her name, but his words were whipped away by the vicious wind. Sara reached their daughter before him, and grinning cruelly, Kyra looked up from her watch.

“Just in time, Mom. 10 minutes left. What do you have to say? I’ve already said my last words. Want to take any pictures? Try and talk me out of it? Call the police? Take your pick.” Kyra suggested.

“Oh, Kyra,” Sara said tearfully. “I wish you wouldn’t do this. Your father and I love you very much.”

“Yeah, well, you could have said that a little earlier, couldn’t you? I’d say you’re a little past due now. The clock’s ticking.” Kyra was unsympathetic to her parents’ distress.

“Kyra, please rethink this. I’m sure there are better ways to deal with this.” Mark begged his suicidal daughter.

“Please, honey. Don’t do this. You have friends, and family, and people who will miss you very much.” Sara told Kyra.

“Haven’t you been paying attention? I don’t have any friends. I’m an outcast. If you’d been paying attention to me, you’d know that, and maybe it wouldn’t have happened.” Kyra blamed her parents, without a shred of guilt. “Oh, three minutes left.”

“Kyra, please. Mark get the camera. I want one last picture of my little girl.” Sara instructed her husband as tears streamed down her cheeks. Mark Tremoli obeyed, his own eyes filling up. As Kyra moved into position, he snapped a picture, and then another.

Smiling, Kyra said softly, “Mom, Dad, goodbye. I wish it could have been different. Maybe I’ll see you again someday. Remember to publish my writing and art. Goodbye and God bless the world.” Waving to her parents, Kyra began to step backwards. Sara rushed forward and threw herself at her daughter, hugging her distraughtly. Mark followed, putting his arms around both of them. Still smiling, Kyra gently shook her parents off, and whispered, barely audible, “Finally, escape.”

Graceful as a swan, Kyra launched herself off the cliff, arcing through the air. She cut the water cleanly, and disappeared into the depths. Her parents clung to each other and wept despairingly. They stood there long into the night, unable to cope with the enormity of their grief. Finally, they stirred themselves, and Sara, her voice trembling, called the police. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t before, but she hadn’t wanted to mar her daughter’s passing.

They dragged the ocean beneath the cliff, and divers searched endlessly, but they never found the body of Kyra Tremoli. It is said that if you go to the cliff at dusk, when the gates between worlds open, you will glimpse her, a pale, wispy figure walking desolately along the cliffside. The site has become something of a landmark, and Kyra’s work was published, exactly as she had wished. Occasionally, she still walks through the empty hallways of her old home, reaching out to her parents with a chillingly cold touch. Many have wondered if she ever felt any remorse for what she had done. Her story is a sad one, and remains as a timeless warning.

[Wyvern]

This piece was a dramatic and entertaining read, dragonqueen. I particularly liked how you paced certain moments of the story, such as the scene where Sara and Mark race towards the cliffside of Traisi beach. You could really feel the frantic emotions that were running through their minds. Also, the way that Sara comes to an epiphany of how she's been a bad mother over the years was well done, as it added meaning and drama to Kyra's committing suicide. The build up of the conflict was also well done, as Sara and Mark's desire for Kyra to come home started off small and was built up as the story progressed.

 

One potential thing you may want to improve in this piece is the specific desires of Kyra's parents. I was under the impression that they wanted to save Kyra at all costs for the majority of the story, yet near the end they seem to come to an acceptance of her jumping as they don't try to physically stop her (even hugging her before she goes). There were also certain scenes that were a bit overdramatic, such as the scene where Sara decides she wants a final photograph of her daughter, and these detracted from the overall tension of the piece. Lastly, you might want to add a touch of ambivalence to the emotions of Kyra, as as it stands the reader may have a difficult time sympathizing with her due to her arrogant attitude.

 

Overall, this was an entertaining story.

[Appy]

goosebumps all over my body now, that was eerily beautifull... you are definitly in your right to call this a masterpiece of yours *hugs*

[Appy]

Just read your comment Wyvern, and if i may tackle those points you brought up and say how "I" read them.

 

 

I was under the impression that they wanted to save Kyra at all costs for the majority of the story, yet near the end they seem to come to an acceptance of her jumping as they don't try to physically stop her (even hugging her before she goes). There were also certain scenes that were a bit overdramatic, such as the scene where Sara decides she wants a final photograph of her daughter, and these detracted from the overall tension of the piece

I'd say there was nothing overdramatic and even go further as to saying that exactly the action of Sara wanting a last picture shows their relationship to her daughter and possibly another part of why Kyra jumped. The coldness showing from that last picture moment, the feeling that Sara only had Kyra to show off that she has a child/daughter. I think it fits the overall picture of their relationship perfectly.

Now hairsplitting my own words, I'd say that they indeed accepted that they cannot stop Kyra.. then what else would they want at that point as a last picture as to remember her as she was? Again coldness there.. rationality lost on an artists soul like Kyra's.

In short, it fits in my opinion

 

I had no problem with Kyra's arrogant attitude. It takes a great deal of courage to kill yourself. The arrogancy was well picked as last emotion. Shutting off all feelings, pretending to be dead already before the actual dying. yes.. again it fit greatly in my opinion

 

As said numerous times already, these are my opinion's and how I lived/read the story... nothing needs to be done with it and I didn't want to attack anyone, just sharing my thoughts

 

*hugs again*

Edited October 25, 2003 by Appy

[Guest Oujisama]

Very well written although the conveyed message is something I just don't really approve of. Some of the ideas expressed do conflict as Wyvern pointed out, although you could've been trying to show that her parents had come to respect her decision or something of the sort. A neat sort of inspiration and lesson for her parents, but not a very human or realistic one.

 

It's a shame some people choose to end their lives that way instead of growing and becoming better...afterall, as she put it, she had many talents. She could've had a chance if only she gave herself it...

 

Hrmm, perhaps this is just a bit too much for an optimist like myself. = (

[DarkPainInside]

a very powerful peice indeed....

 

i agree with appy; it takes courage to kill yourself.

 

and for those who dont have that courage; we are stuck here for evermore. (why die when u can have so much fun screwing your life instead??)