Appy Posted October 23, 2003 Report Posted October 23, 2003 It is difficult being one of honour in this honourless world It is difficult to keep to the truth in this lying society It is difficult to be yourself and only one in this grouping community It is impossible to find self in these bodies of reflection What else to do then to be... and to float and drift Going with the flow Where ever it may bring us
Appy Posted October 23, 2003 Author Report Posted October 23, 2003 Urge This face written with anguish mouth corners pulled down and twisting eyes swivel growing big closing them does not help against the urge I'm ready to scream
Ayshela Posted October 23, 2003 Report Posted October 23, 2003 *nod* it is difficult, sometimes, isn't it? and oooooooooh i know that feeling! very well described. *hugs*
Appy Posted October 23, 2003 Author Report Posted October 23, 2003 (edited) Thanks Ayshela *sad smile* yes on your first comment and I'm sorry on the second *hugs* Now for two revisions of Difficulties, the normal and the fancy one ~ I should know better and post poems AFTER letting them simmer for a while, Difficulties was written today ~ Difficulties (revision I) It is difficult being one of honour in this honourless world It is difficult to keep to the truth in this lying society It is difficult to be yourself and only one in this grouping community It is impossible to find self in these bodies of reflection What else to do than to drift and only be... Going with the flow Where ever it may bring us ----------------------------------------- Difficulties (revision II) It is difficult being one of honour in this honourless world It is difficult to keep to the truth in this lying society It is difficult to be yourself and only one in this grouping community It is impossible to find self in these bodies of reflection What else to do than to drift and only be... Going with the flow Wherever it may bring us Edited October 24, 2003 by Appy
Ayshela Posted October 23, 2003 Report Posted October 23, 2003 *nod* i like your revisions. the only suggestion i would make is in the last stanza, i *think* you mean "than" not "then". "Then" is relative in a time sense, "than" is non-time comparative, or indicating a direction of thought or action. mmm. tricky words, how to explain the difference. mmm. well, if that doesn't make sense, i'll try again, okay?
Appy Posted October 24, 2003 Author Report Posted October 24, 2003 (edited) Oh, yes, i do mean "than" Thanks! and that must've been the clearest explanation I heard so far... difficult words indeed, even my english teacher never was able to explain it So good job and thanks again Edited October 24, 2003 by Appy
Kalypso Posted October 26, 2003 Report Posted October 26, 2003 The Followers Millions of molecules bumping and stumbling along; At first they follow the same path because the current only flows one way. A drop ahead… Several molecules form a magnificent spray, Others appear to mingle with the foam While the majority just fall into a big pool. I thought this was an appropriate response. The revisions helped a lot. Good job! Kalypso
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