A Lonely Black Rose Posted October 21, 2003 Report Posted October 21, 2003 Tears stream down, Oh so gently, And the pain, Hurts only mentally. I don't want you, To walk away, I don't know how, To find my way. All hope is lost, I run to you, You're not there, What shall I do. Who will be, There when I need, Not my choice, My life to lead.
Zariah Posted October 21, 2003 Report Posted October 21, 2003 Replies here can be a comment or they can be constructive critisism. Are you interested in positive comments or helpful commentary? If you are intersted in some feedback, I have some ideas. If you are uncomfortable having me post it here, I can PM it to you. Just let me know!
Nyyark Posted October 21, 2003 Report Posted October 21, 2003 Cool I look forward to seeing more from you =) Tears stream down, Oh so gently, And the pain, Hurts only mentally. This was my favorite stanza. I think it says it's say realy well. Btw I found myself mentally editing out the commas after the first and third lines in each stanza. They broke up the flow to much for me. Good first post!
Beautiful Nightmare Posted October 21, 2003 Report Posted October 21, 2003 Wow well done i like it alot!
A Lonely Black Rose Posted October 22, 2003 Author Report Posted October 22, 2003 ya! thx for saying such nice things about it i dont like it but ken does and everyone else does too so it might be good
Guest Morbid Angel Posted October 22, 2003 Report Posted October 22, 2003 I liked this poem, it wsa moving, although i found it didn't flow to well, i 2 think it was because of all of the commas. I really did enjoy it though! Morbid Angel
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