Jump to content
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

great big world and a tiny

me

everybody thinking similarily

 

how would insignificant little

i

break the chains and voice a thought of

individualy

 

under waves of rebuke THEY force

one

to conform

to agree with the words THEY hold dear

 

a tiny

me

alone all by myself

facing clones of the mind

and slaves of the body

 

a speck of dust in the wheel

of the great UNIVERSAL machine

well oiled smooth operation but

i

clog the cog

 

THEY are right

always so right and constant

me

is called wrong

 

one day

one

will rise above the rest of THEM

 

but for now it is know that

i

dont matter in the scheme

in this machine

of repetition

of ideas centuries so old

Edited by Vlad
Posted

whoooooaaah...

wow

thankyou.

 

this part here:

how would insignificant little

i

break the chains and voice a though

individualy

 

under waves of rebuke THEY force

one

to conform

to agree with the words THEY hold dear

i've been trying for weeks to find some way to wrap words around these thoughts, and here they are.

wonderful!

Posted (edited)

Vlad,

 

I read it.

The poem was good. It was really good.

 

If I could make one reccomendation - a slight editing. I don't know if you meant to leave the "i" uncapitalized, but if you were to capitalize the rest of the lines and leave the "me" and the "i" uncapitalized, it would certainly have a larger impact. But either capitalizing every line or selectively, I would humbly suggest some thought into it either way. That aside, I really liked it. The message was well expressed.

 

As for personal motivations, I'm sorry there was any reason to write this. I *think* I know where you're coming from. That feeling can really be depressing, and lonely - but I'm sure there's many a person who would hear you out, if you want to speak. They're all a PM away.

 

Thanks for sharing though. It was well written, and a powerful message.

 

- Justin/Enos

Edited by Justin Silverblade
Posted

Choice

(for Thinas)

 

A choice or dream

Is mine alone,

But the meaning is

For more to learn.

 

That life is not, as it may seem-

And we are all just flesh and bone-

A mind is everything that one has-

And it is for him - enough to yearn.

 

But with visions or no

Some must still decide,

What they are to do now,

And what they will let slide.

 

To each their own - what opinions may be

But until that time, none will live free.

×
×
  • Create New...