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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Orlan, the sexy sexy Elder, plopped down into his chair with an unceremonious POOMF! Dust was knocked up in every direction, lingering in the air for a good while. He had not had much chance to sit down lately, for Orlan had been overly, overly busy. He looked over at his desk in his Pen office. Piles upon piles of paperwork littered the mighty oak desk. Orlan had work he needed to get done, though he never found time for it.

 

Orlan could go out, work his tukuss off, come back, listen to new stories, stop by the Banquet Room and hear all the latest poems, and then walk through the Tower Lounge making sure things run like the well oiled machine the Pen had become (Orlan hacks and coughs at that thought for some reason). All this left little to no time to attend to many other matters. His latest manuscript lay open to where he last left off. Right next to it laid his copy of “Final Death” which is going to be a “bestseller” says Cousin Vinnie down at the Slow-E-Mart. So many projects left undone.

 

Orlan exhaled a breath, blowing the dust around so it danced in the rays of light that streamed into the room. Orlan’s gaze wandered down to the aim of one of the rays of light. Its target was a piece of paper that was half hanging out of the middle of a giant stack of paper. Orlan’s curiosity overwhelmed him, but his laziness, as always, won out, and the Sexy Sexy Elder quite Sexily leaned back in his chair to try and grab the paper.

 

Orlan thought about what he was doing a little too late to actually be able to stop himself from falling back and stumbling into the tower of paper, which dominoed into the stack next to it, and then stack next to it, until a flurry of paper was flying everywhere. Orlan quickly cast “Protection from 100,000 paper cuts” as the papers tumble and fly all around the room.

 

After all had return to calmness Orlan stood holding onto the piece of paper he was going for and surveying the destruction. He’d need to call Ms. Yomiko Readman to help him with the clean up. Meh, Orlan thought.

 

He looked down at the paper and paused for a moment. He re-read what was on there. He re-read it again. If what he read was true, it was a grave mistake that DESPERATELY needed to be remedied. Orlan needed to make an announcement, and he needed it fast.

 

The Sexy Sexy Elder loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. In a flash he had his sport coat off and whipped it around him, causing the dust to catch fire and in a flash of light he was standing in the halls of the Pen.

 

“Attention!” he yelled out to the various rooms. He waited a moment, but no one stirred. Orlan grumbled. He knew people were around, he could hear noise in the background.

 

“HEY PEOPLE!” Orlan yelled again. Still he got no response. Orlan once again grumbled. “Don’t make me do this the hard way,” he said to himself. Still no one showed up. Orlan stood up tall and took in a breath. “Fine then.” Suddenly Orlan crouched over low to the ground and snapped his fingers.

 

“Just play it cool boy…..real cool,”

 

With that he starts dancing down the hallway, snapping his fingers in tempo with his steps. Slowly the hallway begins to fill with the Pen denizens, all of them mimicking the movement. A particularly confused Big P snaps his way up to Orlan’s side.

 

“Uhm, I don’t normally question any West Side Story spells, but how come we’re Jetting our way down the hall?” he asked.

 

“Because I got an announcement to make and no one’s paying any attention,” Orlan said. “Plus now we’re Sharking, technically.” Orlan brings the entire dancing group of Pen members into the Cabaret Room, in a flash vanishing from view and reappearing on stage. The break in the West Side Story Spell causes everyone to assume a random knife fighting position, which leaves various members poked and prodded with fingers used like knives.

 

“Now that I have your attention, we need to have an announcement.” Orlan glanced out into the crowd. “Wyvern! Get up here!” Orlan struck a pose and snapped his fingers, in an instant the almost Dragon was snapped up onto stage…. unfortunately he was upside down, and promptly fell on his head. “Oops, my bad, I did the wrong snap. Anyway…”

 

Orlan held his sheet of paper out in front of him and cleared his throat…. then he paused, looked at his sheet at an angle, and then pursed his lips.

 

“Y’know, nevermind. I’m not going to make an announcement, this is Gwai’s job.” Orlan snapped his fingers again and suddenly a naked Gwai appeared with his back to the audience. He had a bottle of shampoo in his hand and was holding it above his head like a mic.

 

“Baaaaabbbyyy…… You’re my Baaaaaaaaabbbbbbyyyyy…..” Gwai belted out. Orlan gave a whoops and snapped his fingers again and Gwai vanished.

 

“Let’s fix that first,” Orlan said. He snapped his other fingers and then snapped the first fingers again. This time Gwai appeared in a tailored glassy black suit. His hair was slicked back and her had an actual microphone in his hand.

 

“What the? Where’s my Mr. Sudsy?” Gwai asked looking at the mic in his hand.

 

“I’ll explain later,” Orlan said, handing Gwai the piece of paper and then snapping his fingers and vanishing into nothingness….

Posted

Gwaihir rubs his eyes and takes the piece of paper. Wha …OHh, yes this. It’s about time we did this.

 

“Umm people! I have an announcement…there you people are, good.

 

Well, one of the pen members is always active and is always writing entertaining pieces. He writes stories, he RPs and heck he even writes neat poems. He’s always helping out and it’s high time we acknowledged this. I freely ackno…OOf”

This as Wyvern hears the word free and rushes up. He bumps into the clumsy elf in his excitement and Gwaihir falls over.

Slowly the spacey loremaster gets to his feet and blinks on seeing Wyvern.

 

“Well, how did you get here? No matter how, you’re just who I needed.

 

Everyone welcome our new Bard!”

 

OOC: Congrats Wyv, it’s about time :)

Posted

Peredhil heads the line of well-wishers and in his joy for his friend, even lets him pick his pocket of the lint wallet he placed there just for this occasion.

 

Stepping toward the rear, he watches the faces of the people swarming to the Stage.

 

It is with a rather unusual predatory grin that the spies the Goons, smiling shark smiles as they slowly shuffle with the moving line, ready to drag the newest Bard away and remind him to check out and, in the memory of Shurak Whitefist, pay his dues....

Posted

...kewl wyvern... it couldn't have happened to a nice almost dragon type thing... never knew how you could forever come up with all those creavtive app responces... well done...

 

revery

the dreamlost

"spunk..."

the dream continues...

Posted

Congratulations Sir Wyvern!

 

 

*smiles bobs a little curtsy and then hurries back to the almost dragons office to put the papers that seem to have gotten stuck to her skirts back where they belong*

Posted

Gyrfalcon waits until the Goons drag a badly shaken Wyvern back into the hall, looking disgusted as they inspect the sad collection of pocket lint, dust bunnies, and one copper penny. Wyvern desperately throws himself at them. "Take the lint, take the dust bunnies, but for the gods sakes, don't take my penny!" the almost draconic Elder cries desperately.

 

Gyrfalcon taps a Goon on the shoulder and hands it a few gold coins. "That should cover his fees, now give him his penny back, please."

 

The goons take the gold and drop the penny in Wyvern's hands, but it slips through his fingers and through a crack in the floorboards. Wyvern's face falls nearly as far as the penny does.

 

Gyrfalcon clears his throat and waits until Wyvern looks up.

 

"Wyvern, congratulations and welcome my brother Bard." the half-elf says with a broad grin.

 

"In honor of this occasiona, I'll cut your debt in half... which given interest rates and number of years elapsed, puts your right back at the cost of the first two Conservatories you wrecked. Don't worry, you'll eventually manage to pay that debt off... somehow."

 

In honor of the celebration, Gyrfalcon hands Wyvern a small dragonhide cup of Ole 'Pecuiliar.

 

"Congratulations!"

Posted

Yui-chan stumbles through a rather noisy shadow and into a hallway brimming with smiling members and raucous conversation. It takes a full five minutes of blinking and staring and trying to wake up from another sleepless night before she realizes that she has no idea what's going on. Luckily, Appy chose that moment to wander by, and the Huntress politely intercepted her.

 

"What? You didn't hear?" Appy blinked, grinning brightly. "Wyvern's been named a Bard! ... and we all danced down the hall. It was great!"

 

As Yui digested that bit of information, she thanked Appy and apologized for holding her up. And then she stood there for a while longer, an island of static black amidst a rolling sea of celebrating Pennites.

 

"Wyvern's a Bard," she mumbled, and the light finally came on. "OH! Wyvern's a Bard?! Marvellous!"

 

So saying the Huntress skimmed her way through the crowd to where a red-scaled head rose above the others. "Wyvern! You're a Bard!" She exclaimed, popping out from the wall of well-wishers to tackle the almost-dragon with exceptional enthusiasm. "Congratulations!"

 

^_^

Posted

Wyvern stutters as he glances left and right at the crowd, getting violently mugged by the goons and smothered with affection by his friends in turn. His eyes widen in confusion as he watches one fourth of the crowd break into a syncopated version of the "Macarena" due to Orlan's West Side Story spell losing control and twisting into dangerous musical proportions. The lizard is about to speak up when a crowd of photographers and promoters suddenly surround him, stuffing his open mouth with three Taco Bell Gordita's and handing him a trembling chihuahua as several of the photographers take pictures. He begins to choke on one of the quasi-edible fastfood products as the chihuahua loses all control and starts pissing over his brand new tunic, interrupted only as a line of mamboing Pen members practically tramples the lizard to the ground.

 

Wyvern barely has time to recover himself before he's surrounded by reporters for several widespread magazines, including "Wired," "National Lampoon," and "GQ." The reporters for "National Lampoon" and "GQ" sketch Wyvern's current mangled position on the ground for the uses of comic parodies and fashion statements respectively while the reporters for "Wired" aim their microphones towards the ground and exclaim:

 

"Mr. Wyvern! Is there anything you'd like to say to the press on this occasion?"

 

Wyvern mumbles and fidgets on the ground as the chihuahua angrily knaws on his left horn.

 

"I- *cough*BLECH... get this... ack, stupid mutt!"

 

The reporters nod and jot down Wyvern's semi-coherent words, deciding that the title for their next issue would be called. "Ack, Stupid Mutt: the Wyvern Story." As the reporters depart from the scene, Wyvern slowly lifts himself to his feet and snatches the chihuahua in a rage, rolling it up into a ball and trying to kick it like they do in the cartoons but only hurting his toe in the process. Clenching his foot in pain and hopping away from the scene, he makes his way back to the stage just as several members in the crowd mistake the rolled-up chihuahua for a Nimball...

 

Clearing his throat of a few ashes, Wyvern speaks up and says:

 

"I am honored to recieve such recognition, and would like to thank a number of things that have helped me along the way. I couldn't have made it this far without Coca Cola, Enron, M&Ms, Crest Toothpaste, Mitsubishi, Doritos, Smacks Cereal (I dig'em!), Oreo-"

 

Wyvern suddenly stops in his speech as he notices Orlan and Gwaihir glaring angrily at him. Letting out a small nervous laugh and accepting a bag of money from a promoter in the audience, the overgrown lizard gulps and says:

 

"So anyway, titles and stuff aside since I know that I'm still not going to be able to pick up any chicks by saying that I'm a Bard... do I get the keys to the Bard lavatory?"

 

Orlan and Peredhil exchange worried glances before the Sexy Sexy Man clears his throat and answers:

 

"I hate to break it to you, Wyv, but the Bard lavatory of the Pen is just a legend. After all, no bathroom is capable of hosting toilets that play musical instruments when you flush them..."

 

Wyvern whimpers in disappointment just as a swarm of Pen members storms the stage playing Taco Bell Chihuahua Nimball.

 

;-)

 

OOC: On a more serious note: thanks, everyone. :) If you find my posts entertaining, know that you guys all inspire me to post and are the reason that I try to maintain a certain level of consistancy. Y'all are dear to my heart, and your writings never cease to amaze me. Thank you all.

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