The End

[Valdar and Astralis]

Terra is not the sort of place one would normally associate with spaceships, being located in the far backside of the galaxy, and inconveniently out of the way of more trendy shopping districts. It was the nice, quiet sort of place where the only real disturbance (aside from constant global war) was the occasional rich kid with his mates who would swing by after a drunken binge to terrorize several sheep and locals.

 

It was noted in the galactic archives that the world of terra was more or less permanently stuck in a medieval stage-3 state of civilization. It was hypothesized that this was something got to do with Armageddon stopping by the world every thousand years or so to unwind for several months. Typically after which, the local bickering and stone breaking would begin to get on his nerves, obliging him to scorch the planet back to the Stone Age. In any case, Terra was Armageddon's playground, and no one was inclined to argue with the devourer of worlds over such an insignificant piece of real estate.

 

It was, therefore something of a surprise when two very large spacecrafts dropped out of hyperspace one morning. Both of them were very sleek in design, and large enough to be expected to play hell with any system's gravitational field, which they did not as they were largely hollow-a fact which had sent no small number of safety inspectors away muttering to themselves about over-rich kids and being wrong.

 

As a matter of fact, the occupants of one of the spaceships were far from young, and probably older than most. They were merely immortal, and gods in their own rights.

 

While identical in size, the two ships differed in terms of shape and color. One was black and very deadly looking, bristling with a hundred spikes of unknown function. The other was hot pink.

 

It was on the pink ship that things got done.

 

Wyvern sipped his triple distilled Vong Milk nervously, wondering if the deal was too good to be true while the agent regarded the lizard indifferently behind shaded eyes.

"Do we have a deal then, Mister Wyvern? Good . . ."

A piece of paper was pushed across the clear table. On closer inspection, it was one of those disclaimer forms, the sort used before being pushed into a black hole. Wyvern gleefully snatched the document and signed it. "Done and done!"

 

The agent smiled.

"My clients have been searching for a suitable site for quite some time now. Here is your payment, up front as per agreement."

A briefcase was produced and opened. In it, were fifty gold pieces.

 

And for that price, the fate of terra was sealed.

[Valdar and Astralis]

Of gods on terra, there were but two at first, Sun and Magic. Over the millennia however, as new bonds were forged and portals grew, their number increased slowly to seven. So has it been for several thousand years, and so the last thing any of them expected was the sudden arrival of four more. The prime controller, Sun, immediately called for a counsel of the elder gods. Being precisely that, however, the ageing deities moved slowly. Far too slowly, compared to the alien creatures scurrying ant-like around on Terra.

 

Back on the planet, construction proceeded at an alarming rate. Massive obelisks were erected, and blocks the size of a red dragon sprung from the sands of the Khalez desert overnight, forming a small city. Large bunkers, the sort used for nuclear weapons testing were built in a circle radiating 500 miles from the mile-high platform in the middle of the city.

 

A raiding party from a neighboring nation made it to within 200 miles of the outer perimeter before being vaporized by high energy lasers.

 

The gods stayed on their pink spaceship for the month it took for their devices to be made ready. The black ship had long since faded into the darkness, hanging in an unobtrusive orbit near the sun.

 

Just as abruptly as it had begun, the construction halted. The city which had sprung up in the middle of nowhere stood empty and silent, awaiting a sign from the heavens.

 

***

 

If terran astronomers had been astonished by the sudden arrival of the pink and black spaceships, they would have been outright alarmed by the sudden flotilla that arrived one evening. Large, small, and in just about any shape imaginable. To further gouge the panic button, these ships headed right for the planet instead of hanging back like the two behemoths in the background. Not a few astronomers died that night, trying to plead the urgency of the situation to their masters at a particularly sensitive time...

 

When they looked again in the morning, the ships had vanished.

Edited October 9, 2003 by Valdar and Astralis

[Valdar and Astralis]

On the ground, the Khalez desert now reassembled nothing so much as an intergalactic parking lot with no rules whatsoever. Haphazardly parked battleships leered dangerously over sleek corvettes and public shuttles rubbed shoulders with family transports, as fanatic traffic controllers shouted futilely in a dozen languages over the sub-ether network.

 

Half a solar system away, An old man fiddled with his beads. Four were a malevolent. black, with runes etched deep into the side. Three more were broken, and the color of dried blood, while on the last was engraved a swirling blue-green pattern. The elderly man clicked and pushed the beads thoughtfully with a faint smile on his face as he watched Wyvern, who would have found the beads intriguing if not for the nearly naked woman strutting around in the studio outside. Ordinary men would have found her presence dominating, but the crowd loved her all the more for that.

 

The general (male) population of the universe was slightly twisted in that sense.

 

The old man was content to wait and play with his beads while his children did whatever rock-stars did before a show, which seemed to involve a lot of repeating harsh noises. Debello, his red faced eldest son was pounding a berserk tattoo on four massive war drums with his fists. His deathly pale youngest sibling paced up and down trying to tune her guitar with a finger in one ear, while a skeletally thin Morior plucked a complementary dirge on his own. Over it all, Ieiunitas's pipe organ shrieked a banshee wail on it's own, while it's owner tinkered with a brightly lit control panel. They were The Four Horsemen (Letum wanted Horsepeople but got voted out), a name retained from a time when they really did ride horses, and wracked destruction on entire solar systems every other week in their father's name. Over the millennia, their roles changed from 'Destroyers of Worlds' to 'Bringers of Apocalypse', though the difference was mainly lost on the planets they visited. They were truly gods, their titles not some vain self-appointed accessory. They were the noisiest, most destructive and over the top heavy metal band in the universe. Period. Disaster Area was but the pale shadow of a bug besides towering giants, slavishly copying and grubbing in the dirt of their glory. Entire libraries had been written on them, and the debris from their live concerts poisoned entire ecosystems for generations ever since they stopped wrecking the entire planet outright.

 

Satisfied at the sound, Letum coldly ground a thumbnail into her Meguitar, releasing a painful neurotic screech from the unique axe-shaped instrument.

 

The ruckus died at once.

 

"I really wish you wouldn't do that in practice", Morior complained, shaking his handsome head while reaching down for a worm that had fallen out of his sleeve.

"Don't even think abou. . ." Debello interjected as Morior popped the worm into his mouth.

"Yuck" The other siblings said in unison.

Skeletally thin Ieiunitas checked his console one last time, before pressing a large red button. The complicated display vanished at once, replaced by the digits 26:59 and no more.

The group left the studio, leaving the clean up crew to do their jobs

 

The old man positively beamed at his children as they filed into the room. "It's going to be a wonderful performance!" he exclaimed happily. "Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you all?" Debello's face blushed an impossible hue of red, while Ieiunitas reached for a donut. "And to come visit me at the end of my holidays too!"

Letum smiled coldly, pressing her pale bosom against the table. "You have mister WYVREN to thank for that, dad--he was kind enough to rent us a site." At mention of his name, Wyvern, who had fainted dead away at the final note, sat up with a start.

"Yes, of course! very blossomy-er"

He tore his eyes away from the cleavage to look at the old man beaming at him.

"Yes, yes, thank you mister Wyvern too. Would you like to sit with me while they play? I wouldn't mind some company. No one wants to sit with me, for some reason."

The almost-dragon hesitated just then, still slightly disoriented from the blast and trying to refocus on the woman in front of him.

"It's a once in a lifetime chance--and your ticket's free." Wyvern only heard the last word, which settled the matter for him. He nodded.

Letum reached across the table to pat his arms, sending a shock of icy death into the almost-dragon's soul. He blinked and recoiled in horror, but the hand was gone with only smiling faces and the clicking of beads around him.

"We'll see you tomorrow then."

[Valdar and Astralis]

10:45

The Sun burned brightly over the Khalez the next morning, as though to scour out the intruders still sleeping in their air-conditioned ships. Unseen to all, the black spaceship engaged a cloaking device, and fired it's maneuvering thrusters a few times, pushing itself away from it's stable orbit, and into a slow spiral sunward. On terra, a spear of unease pierced Rosemary's cold heart, as she became aware of spirals not meant to be, and spirals unseen bringing a time of change to many. Reaching into a bowl of ashes, the vampire tossed a handful into the still air, where they hung in scrying patterns unreadable.

 

07:45

The press of bodies at the main gates was beginning to reach critical mass. The VIP bunkers had been given priority, of course, and the ticket hoarders that were not outright torn apart by the desperate crowd were amassing trillions of credits worth of profit, before being torn apart. Those that didn't usually escaped with only the skin on their back. With the lack of any halfway-decent law enforcement infrastructure, the crooked queue turned quickly to riot as the final tune-up sequence began. But not for long. The shockwave from the first off-key note of B flat lifted a curtain of sand in it's wake before slamming into the first row of Acoustic bunkers and demolishing the abandoned main gate like a dandelion in a hurricane. The rioters did not have a chance to regain their footing, however, as the mega-subtroic amplifiers kicked in to correct the key a moment later, bursting eardrums as the sonic boom passed overhead. The filled bunkers buzzed in anticipation.

 

05:45

Wyvern was very close to actually closing a deal with the govneor of the Ittirasi Empire regarding the sale of nearly two million nonexistent Nantuken-O's when the teleporter door swung out, admitting the old man Wyvern had met the day before. Ignoring the uncomfortable titter, he waved happily and sauntered towards Wyvern, whose customer fled. Delighted with the company, he began toying with his beads, all the while chattering away happily. But Wyvern wasn't listening, as he had noticed the beads for the first time, and his jaw dropped in awe.

 

His companion noticed him noticing.

 

"Not much to look at are they?" He said, holding them up. "Well, to a mortal anyway. You know what these are don't you?"

 

Wyvern nodded.

 

"The seven seals of the apocalypse." The old man explained extravagantly. "The little one's are bound to the land, while the big one binds your souls to this world. No one ever figured that bit out fully, I think. Whenever anyone got close . . ." The old man snapped his fingers in front of the lizard's nose and giggled while Wyvern tried to formulate some response.

 

"Wh. . .who are you?" he finally got out.

 

"Me? Oh that's right, I don't think we were ever properly introduced. I'm called Al`Kalla`deltarralta`lamadaa`radon, but most people call me Armageddon. You can call me Bob though, all my friends do that."

 

Conversation more or less died at that point, as the crowd went wild at the stage lighting up, 500 miles away. Bob stood up and cheered loudly.

Edited October 9, 2003 by Valdar and Astralis

[Valdar and Astralis]

A low mournful chant drifted across the sands for a minute, and a bolt of lightning connected stage with clear sky, leaving four hooded figures in the spotlight. The cheers redoubled as they threw off their cloaks as one, and took their instruments to the tune. It was an all time favorite, a dirge for Aalmanata, whose proud kings refused to surrender to the last even as the thin fingers of famine played out the wailing cries of a hundred million starving citizens. The cries of the hungry were slowly supplanted by the groans of the dying, as pestilence and decay swept the globe. Through it all, the sickeningly triumphant war drums of the Vangyr thundered in the background, until Death's cold voice was heralded the start of planetary bombardment after half a decade of siege. The sky rained fire, and the earth shook, but no quarter did the kings ask. Oceans died, and the air turned toxic. The strings of decay painted a landscape filled with only bloating corpses, while the proud imperial march of the Aalmatan continued unabated. Death spoke again, and the atmosphere boiled away into space, and it the proud kings. And again, while their sons died spurning the Vangyr demands from their underground palace, until but one remained choking in the ashes of his brothers and fathers.

"And he raised his head from the grime

Cursed his foe one last time

.

.

.

Then came only darkness."

 

 

Wyvern shook his head to clear it of the vision, and looked around in confusion, from the tearfully cheering crowd, to the now thoroughly wrecked Khalez desert. Massive plumes of smoke rose from all around, where nearly a hundred 10 Kiloton planetary bombardment warheads had landed during the course of the song. Beside him, Bob wiped a teary eye and clapped proudly for his children.

 

"I was there, you know--horrible business. The Vangyr have absolutely no idea how to demolish a planet. . ."

Before Wyvern could respond, they were washed away by another torrent of sound and god-dreams.

 

01:30

The almost lizard whimpered. The hate in the last song had nearly unmanned him, even as the slow seductive theme of the next started to overpower his senses.

 

00.40

Millions of miles away, the display on a small digital clock changed from 00:00:01 to 0:00:00. A dozen systems noticed this by powering up, illuminating the bridge like a Christmas tree. The black spaceship, which had been slowly spiraling towards the gravitational well of the sun, rotated and brought its engines to full power. Building up speed rapidly, the behemoth dived towards the sun . . .

 

A small red light caught Ieiunitas's eye, and he coughed softly. Letum glanced at him, and nodded slightly as they began their final song, only half a second behind schedule.

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

FROM THE STARS!

00:20

Entering the outer corona, powerful heat shield slicing a neat path for the ship through the superheated gasses.

She came on down from the sky one night

Long ago on that fateful night

Men will shiver remembering

The pain death and suffering

As it crossed the threshold into the inner corona, however, the shield burned away, blasting the hull with nearly 4000 degrees of raw heat. The cloaking towers promptly vaporized, but the hideously expansive main body held together long enough for the huge spaceship to smash headlong into the surface of the sun.

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

FROM THE STARS!

Splashing like a stone thrown hard into a pond, a great column of fire, half the diameter of the sun shot into space, while conflicting ripples from the sinking ship clashed with the plasma tides. Within the space of several minutes, over a hundred major solar flares had taken place. The destabilized magnetic field ejected the outer Corona into space.

No quarter she gave

No questions she asked

She had no mercy

And her heart was hard

Ruler of the Terran Pantheon of gods, Lord Sun, was just finishing his opening address to the younger gods when a fragment of the black spaceship crashed through the wall behind his throne, and embedded itself into the his back.

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

FROM THE STARS!

The sun god stiffened, and fell on his face.

How many taken the books don't tell

Slain and hunted by the hounds of hell

Slaughtered like sheep, they turned and ran

Into her bosom by her guiding hand!

 

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

FROM THE STARS!

The psionic shockwave from the deity's death reached Terra long before the light did. Thousands of Archmagii on every terra stopped and turned their eyes to the hevans in horror. Wyvern twitched in midsong, even as the mid-day sky fell dark.

 

The hooks and chains she used so well

The men she bound to drown in hell

Her whip drove 'em to the edge of light

Pushed them down to eternal night!

 

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

LEATHER CLAD, KILLER WOMAN

KILLER. WOMAN!

 

00:00:00

 

A moment later, a massive black shape partially eclipsed the sun for a moment before crashing into the star. A hundred solar flares burst from the surface, and the corona exploded outwards in the wake of a giant shockwave half a second later. On the stage, any semblance of harmony melted quickly into chaos, as the performers attacked their instruments in a blood frenzy.

 

Morior and Letum hacked savagely at the nearby amplifiers, sending sparks and pyrotechnics flying into nearby amp-blocks, while Ieiunitas overpressured his organ, sending smoking tubes rocketing into the air. Debello, once again in a battle trace, pounded an insane war song on ruined drums. The desert heaved with every beat and hum, throwing tons of sand into the air, while the crowd cheered wildly. Satisfied with the destruction, Letum raised her broken instrument into the air one last time to wave at the crowd, then vanished with her brothers before the entire complex of city sized speakers exploded in an atomic conflagration.

 

"Bravo! Bravo!" Bob was on his feet again, applauding loudly over the groans of the earth. He nudged the partially comatose almost-dragon with one foot.

"Wakey wakey! show's over, told you it would be a blast!"

 

He returned to his standing ovation. Wyvern could not but agree, but other things were happening.

 

Without Sun's guiding hand, the core reactions of the stellar body spun out of control as the surviving gods tried to find some equilibrium. Surface fission rates immediately jumped a hundred fold, causing the star to burn whiter and hotter. It would forever remain a mystery who it was who first cried "SUPERNOVA!", a cry which was taken up with a great deal of alarm. That, of course, settled the matter, and a wild stampede for the teleporters ensued, bowling Wyvern over Bob ("Oh dear!" he said). The two went down in a heap, and Wyvern felt something crunch under him.

 

"How rude of them. . .still, that was a nice show, wasn't it, Mister Wyvern?" Bob was saying, absentmindedly dusting himself off as the crowd vanished into the teleporter.

 

Wyvern wasn't listening. He was staring in horror at the eight shattered beads.

Edited October 10, 2003 by Valdar and Astralis

[The Portrait of Zool]

AWESOME!

[Quincunx]

Tzimfemme's jaw drops open and stays open. She had been spit out onto Terra after the age of Death Rock, and not even the continual headbanging party that was Metalium could quite compare. This did.

[Kalypso]

Amazing story so far. Lots of unique ideas. I'm looking forward to reading more.

[Valdar and Astralis]

Thank you, but the ideas were not my own, since I borrowed heavily from the late Douglas Adams (Did I mention the show was on a thursday?) and the rest from old Terran lore.

[Peredhil]

LOL! That's wonderful...

 

Although I *was* having fun picturing Galadriel as your leather-clad singer...

 

[Starlight]

*sniffle* as founder of Metalium and generally acclaimed #1 metalhead of at least the Terras I frequented, I must say...

 

I'M PROUD OF YOU VAL!

[Wyvern]

Excellent story Valdar! I thought that it was a very entertaining read the whole way through, and particularly liked the excellent description of the Four Horsemen's destructive performance. I also really liked the comedy throughout... rather than simply "borrowing" Douglas Adams' humor I think that you laid it out as the foundation for your own brand of humor and built upon it. The incorporation of Wyvern in the story was excellent as well, and the part where he was distracted by Letum's cleavage really had me cracking up. Once again, I'm honored that you chose to have Wyv play a role in the story.

 

In terms of possible improvements, I think that perhaps a bit more description could be given for Al`Kalla`deltarralta`lamadaa`radon a.k.a Armageddon a.k.a Bob and the Four Horsemen, as it could render them more vivid. Though you did mention a few details, such as Morier being "skeletaly thin" and Letum having a "pale bosom" (*laughs again at the thought of that scene*), perhaps you could add a few more, particularly for Bob whom we only know as being "old." Also, on a minor note, it's "Nanotoknonnen-Os."

 

Great stuff!

 

Having said this, Wyvern nods and exits before locust swarms start being sent after Ancient Egyption God spelling errors...

[Gyrfalcon]

Excellent Work, Valdar, it kept me smiling and chuckling the whole way through. Somehow, it WOULD figure that Wyvern would accidentally break all the seals of Armageddon at once, wouldn't it?